T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 1444
posted 09-30-2000 09:35 PM
ok , what I am going to say is 100% truth and hope I don't hurt anyones feelings.
I have this friend of mine (well , we are not buddy buddy but friends).
She is very nice and kind , we even have our locker next to each other , there comes my problem .Every lunch or break time she sits near her locker with her boyfriend and makes out real bad ( literal they are like having sex) , it makes me and some of my other friends realy uncomfortable.
I certainly don't want to talk to her about this . The school administrator doesn't seem to be bothered by this. And I certainly can't change my locker (I already tried that).
What should I do?
Is there anything I can possibly do without hurting anyones feelings?
And if anyone of you have had this experience feel free to post it here. I don't have a problem with people expressing affection in public ,but when it become "REaly expressing" affection, It makes me uncomfortable. ThanX for answering in advance.
Member # 33
posted 09-30-2000 10:03 PM
It seems like the best thing to do in this situation, although you don't seem to think it's possible, is the simplest: Talk to your friend.
I don't mean that it would be the EASIEST thing, just the most likely to work. Tell her, when she is away from her boyfriend, how it makes you feel to see them all over each other at her locker.
I bet she will apologize and move her activities elsewhere - and if she doesn't, THAT'S when you can do something like telling a teacher or counselor what's going on.
~lemming, Scarleteen Advocate
want to know the inner lemming? read her diary at
Member # 226
posted 09-30-2000 10:10 PM
Personally, I find it quite surprising that the school administration doesn't want to do anything about this. In my last years of high school, they really started clamping down on that sort of behaviour -- they even told us we weren't supposed to hug each other. Also, honestly, they aren't literally, like, having sex, are they?
Having said that, I think that if the administration won't do anything, the only thing for you to do, really, is to talk to these people. You say you don't want to do that, but between that and ignoring them, you don't have much choice, do you? Are they intruding on your locker space? If they are, I'm sure you could tell them to quit it, and they'd think nothing of it. However, if they aren't and they aren't breaking any other school rules, then you probably don't have much of a hope. You could just try reasoning with them ,and telling them that it makes you feel uncomfortable. It seems to be your only choice.
Member # 406
posted 10-01-2000 12:35 AM
Just tell them that you don't care if they make out or whatever, just not in your space. I'm sure they're not doing it on purpose and I'm sure they'll be happy to move.
And hey, a girl got RPCed at my school for hugging another girl. They weren't dykes (and I say dyke with affection of course) but they still got RPCed because it was "inappropriate contact" I'll never complain that they only use rules for heterosexual people beacause I always hugg my friends and for a while it was very strict.
Dude, just smile and pass the zen margaritas...
Member # 568
posted 10-01-2000 02:08 AM
i get that a lot when i'm with my guy. people just yell at us to "get a room." sorry, PDA: guilty as charged.
i try to tone things down, though, since i remember how disgusting it was to watch other people doing the same thing.
if you get the molasses, i'll set up the trampoline.
Member # 1245
posted 10-01-2000 10:59 AM
hehehe....i get that from people too!!
when me and my guy are together, it's REALLY hard to keep our hands off of eachother. but we do respect other people though, if it looks like someone is uncomfortable, we'll stop or move...
Member # 564
posted 10-01-2000 11:35 PM
Heh, well, I can sympathize with your friend on it being difficult, but in my opinion things getting beyond maybe a close hug in a public place is getting a little edgy, and here's why- actually a couple of reasons. For one, some people are actually offended, whether because of moral reasons or whatever, and while I say if they can't handle a hug they're being a little silly, more than that _is_ a little rude. Others are left with no choice than to leave the area if they don't want to see it, and in a public school hallway, well... And secondly, I know that I personally found people making out in public to be INCREDIBLY and totally disgusting before I got together with m'dear, so I try to be sure I'm not hypocrtical, though that's just me...
I would say as others have, talking to her is most likely to help. If you're good friends, you probably aren't going to seriously upset her with something like this- it probably hasn't even occured to her that she might be making people uncomfortable. Gently clue her in that 'you know some people' who are feeling uncomfortable and see what happens. Doing more beyond that (should that fail) kind of depends on how much it means to you...
I am surprise you have no PDA rules at your school. They aren't a problem for me since my boyfriend is an hour and a half away :P but I've seen others be nabbed for fairly minor offenses.... though it's funny... girls can get away with a lot more (a friend of mine and I flirt sometimes just to freak people out in my homophobic school)... I think the administration would like to just ignore that fact that lesbians exist. Morons...