I'm just worried, that's all. Figured I'd vent here and see if anyone oculd help me out a little...As I've said in a few of my other posts, my boyfriend and I are moving up to Chicago together in about a month and a half. I'm going to college, he's going to work...
In the meantime, there have been a lot of things that I've been worried about - he's been sick for about two weeks, running an almost constant fever of about 101deg F...but his family is really big (7 kids) and his father's not really earning much right now and they don't have insurance and he isn't able to go to the doctor much (he ended up going after beeing sick throwing up for a week)...and so I'm worried about that...
he's a computer consultant, and so at the same time he's been sick he's been worrying about work that he needs to get done for all of his clients - needs to make a specific amt of $ by the middle of August to move out - and there's not much postponing his moving, he knows if he doesn't get out now he might never be motivated to leave home (he's twenty and delayed college for two years. he'll go to community college in chicago this fall).
mm...and then, there's the fact that I still haven't graduated from hs yet - the state school where I've been taking courses has screwed up a few correspondence courses, so I've been grounded since the end of may - and the summer's now mostly gone! I'm really mad at that because this summer was going to be our (my bf and I) last semi-worry-free time, regarding rent and work and school and all of that - and now it's mostly gone...
and the sex part. we really really really REALLY want to sleep together, but he's a virgin, and I'm holding out till we can spend the night together afterwards to make it as wonderful for him as I can...but the problem with that is that I'll be on the pill by the first wkend we're up there together, I'll be sleeping over at his apartment, and it will seem like we've been planning it forever...too much pressure! we talk frankly with each other about it all the time, and we're very good with each other in other ways, but I'm just...
worried...
~lemming
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Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking.
Derek Jarman