T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 109467
posted 01-29-2014 10:56 AM
I don't really know the protocal for posting around these parts, but hopefully some of you wonderful people can help me out. I'm 17 (Nearly 18) and my long term boyfriend is just after turning 18. We have a wonderful relationship. We used a condom, made sure at various times that it was still fully on etc, and it was used correctly, we pinched the top, etc. This may be a bit, too much information, but I need to tell you in order for you to understand I suppose He came in the condom, while in me, and then pulled out after and cleaned up etc. We both checked it while it was still on after just to be ultra sure. Again, He said that he checked when he took it off, and he is positive that it didn't break. But I still need some, eh, reassurance? being 17, I'd be killed if it was discovered by my parents that I had done such a deed. But we are both responsible people, and it was something we had both thought about thoroughly before taking part in. This wasn't our first time, but it's highly irregular as to when we take part in sex. It's not a regular occurrence. I've been with my boyfriend for, well, basically three years. We are mature, I know people say "oh, you're young, that's not possible, everyone says that" but honest to God, we are. We've talked many times about sex before we did originally and if we would,etc , and he was in no way pressuring me. At all. He only wanted to do it, If I'm comfortable and sure. Either way, we had sex on the 31st of December, my period had finished on the 24th. Either way, judging by an app on my phone that I usually use, I was due to have my period on the 20th, and needless to say it was a no show. I have never had a normal cycle (Up on 40 days at some points) and up to 9 days long, but I have never been this late. I went to the doctor for a different problem on the 16th of this month and my bloods and urine sample were taken for many different things. My doctor called the next Wednesday saying that I was slightly low in iron and had a slight kidney infection, no word of a possible pregnancy. Or would it have shown up? Either way, I'm due to go back for a follow up appointment in the morning. I'm extremely stressed at the moment due to schoolwork etc, but I have been for the past few months, I have never been this late. I'm really starting to panic. I don't live in America so there is no planned parenthood or anything like that, nor is abortion legal here, and birth control is extremely expensive, hence why I am not on it. So I really am panicking. I have no real symptoms other than on the 5th of January I had slight spotting now, I mean my underwear was white and I notice a tiny amount of blood on them, almost like a discharge, so I didn't think too much about it, just thought it was due to the friction of previous activity's. I don't really want to take a HPT as I'd never find the privacy to get one, never mind take it. My boyfriend is completely aware of the current situation and is also quite panicky. But we are starting to think we are just annoying ourselves. Anyway, any advice would be appreciated. (Especially if there are anyways to bring on a period. Slim, I know.) Thank you.
Member # 79774
posted 01-29-2014 11:10 AM
Hi, DreamsOfWhite, and welcome to the boards.
If your cycle is usually irregular and has been as long as 40 days before, it's not really out of character for it to be this long now. Stress can also delay a period. Have you checked with a doctor about your irregular cycle? We'd usually suggest that, just to make sure everything's ok with your general reproductive health. There isn't a way to make a period happen sooner. They just happen when they happen. We ask people asking about pregnancy risks to first assess their own risk, using our materials: Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That? We're happy to answer any questions you have about that, and to talk with you more about what contraception may be available to you and what choices you feel are best for you, given your cultural and legal context. Can I check with you, too - when you say "I'd be killed if...", do you mean that literally? I know most people do not mean that literally, but for some people, that's their reality. If you don't mean it literally, could you describe more accurately what you do mean? [ 01-29-2014, 11:11 AM: Message edited by: Redskies ]
Member # 109467
posted 01-29-2014 11:16 AM
First, thank you very much for your answer I know birth control here is very expensive, and my parents would 100% find out as doctors are also extremely pricey. I plan on getting it eventually but now it really isn't a financial option. I plan on checking with my doctor tomorrow about the irregularness, but I'm terrified that she's going to make me take a test, because I want my boyfriend to be there if so and terrified of the result. But he can't be at the general appointment. I wouldn't be killed literally, but I'll probably be disowned, kicked out, and result in alot, alot of arguments. From both me, and my boyfriend's family.
Member # 79774
posted 01-29-2014 11:23 AM
Thanks for the clarification.
What can we help you with right now?
Member # 109467
posted 01-29-2014 11:39 AM
To be perfectly honest, I am scared to death.
I'm supposed to go to college in September as is he, and it couldn't of happened at a worse time if I am. I'd probably have a breakdown, as would he. I thought once I got the bloodtest results it'd calm me down as obviously it would of shown up if I was, but I'm so worried about it.
Member # 3
posted 01-29-2014 12:08 PM
It sounds like right now all you can do is wait it out until you see your doctor. In the meantime, I'd suggest some self-care to help calm you down, and perhaps some reflection on what you think would be best for you moving forward.
Since you say things like that you would "be killed" for engaging in sex, and that you and your partner would each have breakdowns in the case of a pregnancy, that says clearly to me that sex right now is not something you feel able to handle, or that is a good choice in your current circumstances. Your feelings and fears right now echo that. Times like these, when feelings are so high and strong, not only can you really only wait it out, but they really can often offer great cues for us about what our best choices are. Since all you can do now is wait anyway, I'd use this as an opportunity to reevaluate so that, moving forward, you don't have to go through this again.
Member # 108794
posted 01-29-2014 07:59 PM
I was on depo for about 2years then switched to the pill. I've been on the pill for a months and a few days. I haven't went to get my next pack so I've missed 2weeks of pills. I had sex when I missed 3missed back to back and right before my period came on my last pack at the end of the placebo pills. I'm wondering could I be pregnant and how long does it take the depo to leave the body. I've heard it can take 3months or 6-9 months. But the doctor kept saying I can get pregnant if I missed more than 2pills.
Member # 3
posted 01-29-2014 08:07 PM
Next time, Lexyy, can you start your own thread? You do that by clicking "new topic" on the top right. Thanks!
Once someone stops getting Depo shots, they need to figure Depo is not offering them any protection anymore. For sure, for some people, it can take a while for their bodies to start working again as they do reproductively when not on Depo (which isn't really about Depo not "leaving" your body) and for some that can be weeks, for others many months. But there's no predicting that, and for some people, especially more fertile people -- and that'll pretty much always be younger people the age of our users -- it may take no time at all. As your doctor explained, for the pill to work properly, and provide the high protection it can, you have to take them as directed. ANY missed pills can result in pregnancy, but the more someone misses, especially without making them up right away, the more likely that is. At three missed pills, someone should figure the pill may not be offering them any protection at all. If you had your withdrawal bleed, however, and it sounds like you did, and this sex was in the previous pack, before that bleed, then pregnancy most likely did not happen. To be absolutely sure, you can take a test if you want, especially if you have had wonky bleeds since going off Depo, so aren't totally sure.