T O P I C R E V I E W
mizchastain
Member # 32224
posted 04-25-2012 02:13 PM
I decided to talk to the e-pal who says he likes me, and we decided to give a romantic relationship a go. I've talked to him on the phone and we trust each other. We obviously can't have sex what with the distance but neither of us would really want to even if we were near enough, so that's okay. I'm a little weirded out by the whole situation, but I figured it's worth trying. I've denied myself a lot of things over the years because of fear that they might not go well, and I don't think I can do it with this. For all I know one of us might relocate one day. Even if nothing does come of it eventually, we'll both have good memories, and I'm sure we'll remain friends. Fingers crossed.
Saffron Reimi
Member # 49582
posted 04-26-2012 05:53 AM
How exciting! I've very happy for you.
mizchastain
Member # 32224
posted 04-27-2012 04:59 AM
I don't really know where it's going to go from here. Pretty much all that's changed so far is what words we use to refer to each other. I have no idea how I'm going to tell my parents, since I came out to my mum as asexual a couple of months ago and from her point of view this is going to look like taking it back ... I don't know. I think he's worth it though.
WesLuck
Member # 56822
posted 04-27-2012 11:24 AM
Remember, all we know regarding our orientation is how we feel now. I think it's unfair that people get upset when we need to change our labels. There's this myth that when you label yourself with regards to your orientation, you are somehow not meant to ever change it. But labels are only references, and no one has knowledge of their entire future and how everything relates to everything else. Just see how it goes and take it from there. If you don't want a label, or you want an accurate label, choose "questioning" or maybe better would be "undecided". (If others don't like it that's their problem. ) [ 04-27-2012, 11:25 AM: Message edited by: WesLuck ]
moonlight bouncing off water
Member # 44338
posted 04-27-2012 01:59 PM
Hey Wesluck, I get what you're saying (and mizchastain, correct me if I'm wrong), but I believe that mizchastain means that this still fits within asexuality, for her. But that her mother will see it as not fitting within asexuality and may percieve it as taking back her coming out.
mizchastain
Member # 32224
posted 04-27-2012 04:11 PM
Yeah, that's what I meant. Coming out was awkward enough. Is it appropriate to tell her via email? I don't want to confront her face to face and this way I can link her to some websites which explain it better than I can. Just had a fortune cookie which said "good news will come from far away". Appropriate
moonlight bouncing off water
Member # 44338
posted 04-27-2012 04:16 PM
Whether it makes sense to tell her via e-mail is really about the dynamic you have with her. Does it seem like it would alleviate any stress bound to the situation, or would it be more likely to create anxiety about discussing it the next time you saw her? (And if you don't mind me asking, do you live with your parents?) I think that if it seems like a good option that there is nothing wrong with it.
mizchastain
Member # 32224
posted 04-27-2012 06:37 PM
I live independently most of the time but stay with my parents at weekends. My mum did once say that if there was anything I wanted to tell say that I couldn't say out loud I could email instead, so maybe I should.
moonlight bouncing off water
Member # 44338
posted 04-27-2012 07:42 PM
Then yeah, it sounds like your mother would be just as receptive to this news via e-mail as she would in person, and like you'd feel better about it too, so I'd say if that's what you want to do, go ahead.
WesLuck
Member # 56822
posted 04-27-2012 08:26 PM
Oh, as in romantic asexual. Got it.
mizchastain
Member # 32224
posted 05-05-2012 02:59 PM
Decided to get it over with and tell my parents face to face. Was a lot easier than I expected, and they're okay with it. Yay!
moonlight bouncing off water
Member # 44338
posted 05-06-2012 10:44 AM
That's awesome! I'm so glad it went well for you!
SansNom
Member # 91788
posted 05-07-2012 04:11 PM
Yay for you!! It's great that everything worked out with your parents!