T O P I C R E V I E W
That Strange CT child
Member # 104246
posted 03-15-2013 01:47 PM
Ok this isnt abt me but its abt my sis, who is 14 and i dont think shes on this site But earlier today she confided in me that her boyfriend has been asking her, a few times, if she wanted to do sexual things with him such as oral sex and manual sex She keeps telling him she isnt ready and he says he wont stop asking till she changes her mind Idk what to tell her, her bf thinks he'll be bored if they do nothing so i said maybe she could text him sexual things (NOT PICS, i said stories or erotic writings to entertain him if he keeps asking) so this doesnt ruin the relationship and i also told her to ask a health teacher and that hes probably being impulsive since he didnt start asking by asking abt std testing What else can i say to her?? Idk what else to say to her
Heather
Member # 3
posted 03-15-2013 02:03 PM
Well, if she's telling her boyfriend no, and he isn't accepting her no, but instead trying to wear her down until she says yes, that's coercion. And that's a signal of someone it isn't safe for her to be around, and a signal of an unhealthy relationship. It's great she confided in you rather than keeping this secret. You could send her here so we could talk with her more about that, tell her that yourself, and/or suggest she talk to a parent, teacher or counselor at school to get help.
That Strange CT child
Member # 104246
posted 03-15-2013 02:18 PM
I told her abt this site but she seemed a bit confused by its concept This is the first guy shes dated (ive known him for 2 years and he isnt a bad kid but hes been acting more inappropriate lately) and she is still kinda at that stage where she isnt used to being around sexual beings (shes a freshman and im a sophmore and we were talking to our sophmore neighbor and he was saying he was abt to go have sex tonight which is how she told me abt her bf) and a lot of the things shes seeing or hearing (LGBT people and people talking abt having sex and masturbation) are a bit foreign to her which is normal, last year it took me a few months to get used to these things from other people, and so shes still learning and im worried she might get influenced into doing something she will regret later, one thing leads to another and she still doesnt understand that
Heather
Member # 3
posted 03-15-2013 02:24 PM
Well, one thing doesn't really lead to another: people make choices and sometimes do things actively. But this is all within people's control. However, if we stay around people who are showing or telling us they're not people who are safe for us to be around in certain ways, then we are much more likely to be harmed or hurt. Mind, that still isn't about "things" doing anything: it's about people doing things. Are your parents active, engaged parents when it comes to talking with you and your sister about things like, safety, sex and relationships?
That Strange CT child
Member # 104246
posted 03-15-2013 02:28 PM
My parents r divorced and we live with my mom and shes kinda uncomfortable abt anything sexual Im just worried cause my sis doesnt wanna be sexual but she doesnt wanna break up with her bf either
Heather
Member # 3
posted 03-15-2013 02:31 PM
Well, it really sounds like you're going to need to think of someone -- yourself or with her -- for her to talk to about this who is very educated about these dynamics and can help her understand them.
That Strange CT child
Member # 104246
posted 03-15-2013 02:32 PM
The health teacher at my school is good at this but idk if i should talk to him or her first...
Heather
Member # 3
posted 03-15-2013 02:37 PM
Why don't you ask her if she'd be up to going to talk to that teacher together? That way, she'd know she has your support, and you're also respecting her rights to privacy.