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Message: HTML is not enabled. UBB Code™ is enabled.	[QUOTE]Originally posted by minty: [QB] I love the pizza metaphor article! Fantastic! And it makes me really crave pizza (literal pizza, not metaphorical pizza). I'm not into the whole idea of a timeline, especially if the timeline is set/encouraged by someone/a community/a society outside the relationship. Traditional timelines for sexual activity or relationship "milestones" haven't worked well for me: -In my first serious relationship, we were on and off for 5 years and never touched, no handholding, hugging, nothing, because we were within a religious confine that prohibited guys and girls touching outside of marriage. This law is generally observed by having the dating timeline before marriage be very short, say a few months tops, so that a couple isn't in the frustrated state of not being able to touch for long, but that timeline didn't work for our relationship because we weren't ready to marry a few months after we'd met. This relationship didn't work for many reasons, some of them having to do with lack of discussion between myself and my partner about when we wanted certain milestones to happen. -In my second serious relationship, my partner and I engaged in sexual activity before either of us were ready to, because we thought it was the expected time to do so. Fortunately, we were able to have an honest conversation and figure out a timeline that worked better for us. However, we each still had unrealistic notions (e.g. "Oh, I must be able to give my partner an orgasm now because we've been together X amount of time"). This was also a long-distance relationship, which meant that instances in which we were together had even more pressure to be "just so" in terms of what we were doing and how it was. This created a lot of stress on the relationship. -My current serious relationship, my partner and I decided to wait until we were comfortable and then do only what we both wanted to do and not what was expected that we do. Which is why our first kiss was two months after we started dating. Why my partner got naked around me five months into the relationship, yet I didn't get naked around him until thirteen months into the relationship. Why, at almost two years together, we never had manual sex or oral sex or vaginal sex or anal sex, and why we dry hump all the time because manual/oral/vaginal/anal are activities we either haven't wanted to do yet or aren't comfortable doing yet, while dry humping pleasurable and amazing for both of us and we love it. Even outside the sexual realm, we nixed one society's timeline that we're going too slow and we should have moved in together by now and we nixed another timeline that we're going too fast and we should have been married in order to be doing this. We talk about what's right for us to do and when is the right time. Really, I think that's the bottom line. [/QB][/QUOTE]

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