T O P I C R E V I E W
fiveanddime
Member # 95068
posted 06-03-2012 05:26 AM
My boyfriend just left for the summer. He's thousands of miles away, so visiting isn't going to happen. We had a very nice last week together, and I'm looking forward to my own summer plans. However, I'm starting to feel insecure, and I don't like it. We're pretty independent people. We have some friends in common, but we also do different things at college and have different groups of friends. Definitely not "joined at the hip." So when I found out he was going to be far away, I was sad but not crushed. However, he's with a bunch of friends and new people, and I can't help feeling jealous. I wish I could get over this!
breath
Member # 50014
posted 06-03-2012 11:09 AM
Perhaps you can take this feeling of "jealousy" to mean that there is also something that you would like to improve in your own life, and get working. Ie. Do you also want to study/ go aboard or go live in a more exciting part of the US this summer, etc.
fiveanddime
Member # 95068
posted 06-03-2012 02:17 PM
I have a job that starts this week in the city I currently live in. I don't have a lot of extra money, so I can't really travel. I'm definitely looking forward to what I'll be doing, but I'm still not feeling great...
FantasyGirl
Member # 95986
posted 06-09-2012 04:51 AM
Hey- My boyfriend told me this week he was moving to the other side of the world for a WHOLE year.... And I'm alread insecure.... But I think at the end of the day the jealousy we feel is an important part of being human.... Tell him you miss him- tell him you're insecure... Be open about how you feel..... jealousy isn't easy but it doesn't have to rule your life sometimes its more to do with our own insecurities- address any doubts and then see ow you feel..... sorry if this doesn't help in any way- but know long distance is hard....
fiveanddime
Member # 95068
posted 06-10-2012 04:59 PM
Thanks, FantasyGirl. It's definitely helpful to know that other people are going through similar things, and I hope that the transition goes well for you. I'm over the jealousy for the most part because my work has started, and I love my job, and I've met a lot of interesting people. I've also been seeing friends who are nearby, so I'm not lonely anymore. On the other hand, my boyfriend seems to be having a hard time. It sounds like he's having trouble finding ways to meet people, and his work isn't as exciting as he thought it would be. We're talking about twice a week, plus texts here and there, but he seems uninspired and tired all the time. Also, his texts are short and terse, and he doesn't really make the effort to contact me unless I contact him first. I'd like to talk to him about this and see if I can help, but I have a lot of trouble bringing things up when not in person. Any tips?
fiveanddime
Member # 95068
posted 06-15-2012 05:19 AM
update: he seems to be doing better, but it still seems like I have to reach out if I want us to talk. I'm not good at confronting him when we're not in person. Any thoughts?
copper86
Member # 95710
posted 06-15-2012 06:05 AM
Hey! I'm still kind of sleeping, but I wanted to add a few things before I get up later and re-read this. - maybe you could set up a Skype or video chat session with him? Then, you could almost simulate an in-person session and look at verbal and non-verbal cues (body language, facial expressions, eye contact) during conversation; so there will be less chance of terse and short (or misinterpreted) conversations via text (I don't know about you, but I often get misinterpreted or vague texts!). - Make a list of the different things you'd like to talk to him about (his texts being short, him sounding tired and uninspired, you having to always start the discussion) just so you can have a type of "outline" in your head before you have the conversation. That might help, especially if you don't like confronting him when you're not in face-to-face contact.
fiveanddime
Member # 95068
posted 06-16-2012 08:43 PM
Thank you, copper! I brought it up last time we talked, and it seems like he's going to try.