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Message: HTML is not enabled. UBB Code™ is enabled.	[QUOTE]Originally posted by Meryl Anne: [QB] Hi! I'm a Neophyte just like you. Currently on the 19th day of my second break-up. Just like you, I sometimes think about the possibility of getting back together. Sometimes, it's not even getting back together but just having my partner with me again. I sometimes feel guilty, wondering if I couldn't have done more to change things. What has been helpful was not to feel bad about thinking these things. They are just thoughts anyway and they come with the territory. Give yourself the time to feel the way you feel and take good care of yourself before you do anything further about your breakup. As for maintaining contact, I suppose it depends on the circumstances of your breakup. My first breakup wasn't so friendly and we stopped talking just like that. This recent one, however, was a mutual decision arrived at after at least two months of trying very, very hard. What I did was, I told my ex from the onset that I needed at least two months without contact. My ex did attempt contact at least 3 different times, but I consistently, gently reminded him that we both wanted this space for ourselves. It's tough and I miss him often, but I wanted to focus on making myself feel better. You see, I thought that if friendship with my ex was really worth it and doable, I could let it happen when I felt ready for it. As for your partner looking for hope, I am hardly in any kind of position to comment on him, but he is most likely as hurt and confused as you are. Again, if it was a pretty healthy relationship to begin with, talking things over with him might not be so bad provided that you do it after having thought your decision out. Finally, breakups can be messy and imperfect and are really, really tough. I get by with a lot of help from the people here. It's a good place to go and I'll be glad to keep on talking to you if you want me to :) [/QB][/QUOTE]

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