T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 31269
posted 12-22-2010 08:19 PM
This could get long! Sorry lol! Things lately have been pretty good im not gonna lie! It had been a long time before I could just sit and not worry or think of anything. For a while I did just that ... Starting Uni was pretty daunting, but because my best friend is on the same course i wasnt as nervous about making new friends, so we both got pretty lazy when it came to talking to new people. However slowly we have been talking to new people and making new friends. About a month and a bit ago i started talking to one of the girls in my seminar group. We got on well, chatting about everything for a good few hours in the library.(everything but uni work! haha). We done this 2 or 3 times and the rest of the time most of our contact has been through IM which was fine by me. She also is friendly with my best friend James which made things easier when we met up to talk and stuff. We usually sit for hours and talk on IM about anything and everything and we enjoy each others company. It was about a week after we met that i started to like her. This became a huge deal to me as i hadnt liked anyone in a while, since the whole "Rachel" ordeal (which is now over and done with). I do still find it hard to connect with some girls, i dunno maybe i still have trust issues after my ex but with this new girl things feel different. To me its weird though admitting i like her when i have only met her a handful of times in person. Yeah sure we talk alot but i feel its a bit premature. I dunno, maybe around a week ago i gathered up the courage to tell her i liked her. I started hinting at first, but eventually i just came out with the "i like you...". To me it was a massive step, i had shut myself off from girls for a long time and now i had finally attempted at trying to get on with my life. Things went well when i told her. She said she liked me too (i kinda had a feeling lol) so i was pretty happy. I still felt the whole time that i was being a little forward with it all. I didnt like telling her over IM, i wanted to tell her in person but due to the weather here i couldnt get to Uni for nearly 2 weeks. She is really nice ... really friendly, funny and very pretty! I dunno if she feels the same but i really feel a connection with her. I havent felt a connection like this since my ex. I definitley dont wanna tell her that over IM or soon as id feel that i was coming on waaaayyy too strong and that id scare her away. We have planned to meet up several time in a small group to go out, but it fell through everytime due to the weather. (She stays a fair bit away). So we are gonna try and maybe get a group together and do our best to meet up before New Year. I think its probably best for us to meet in a group at first then maybe after a while just go out the both of us. I have said that id like to take her out sometime and we both agreed to go out in a group first. I still dont know why, but i feel like im coming on too strong about it. Its me who usually brings it up when we talk. Even though we do communicate alot over IM id really like to meet up and talk more in person than over IM (something we have discussed) and see how things go. Im tired of being lonely, id really like to ask her out. I realise now that i havent asked what i was coming on here to ask haha! I guess im here to ask for advice on how i should play this. I dont wanna seem desperate, but i dont want to seem disinterested. I do feel that i like her enough to pursue even a relationship if things go well. I still feel that i dont know her well enough to even ask her out to a movie or something! Its IRRITATING. I guess maybe im being a little too forward cause im scared that if i dont act soon ill lose hope. Its happened to me too many times before. Please, someone give me some advice
Member # 45568
posted 12-22-2010 11:46 PM
Relationships in the first months of uni are very tricky, I'm finding as well (I'm also a freshman). From what I've seen in my group of friends, there's always that balance between finding fast friends and not spilling too much of yourself too quickly. So I think there's just going to be a lot of trial and error on that for most of us, unfortunately. Have you noticed the same thing with your friends?
That being said, she's probably in the same boat as you here. So after talking one on one in person and over IM, I think it would be perfectly fine to ask her out for lunch or coffee, or something of the sort. If you're comfortable (or just slightly out of your comfort zone) with that, I can't see it as coming off desperate at all. After all, that could be a good way to get to know her better. Also, and maybe this is just me, but when I go out with someone I've met recently, I like to go somewhere conducive to conversation. So in this case I might suggest something like that over a movie. Hope that helps :]
Member # 31269
posted 12-23-2010 10:06 AM
polyprotic! Thanks for replying
Yeah I have noticed that haha! I tend to be quite reserved with everyone except a small few, people who I know I can definitley trust. This confuses me though, seeing as I have been so forward with her. I dunno if thats a good or bad thing? Yeah I have mentioned it to her, and she seems to be happy with the idea. We both agreed to go out as a small group first, so if things dont go so well then we arent kinda stuck with each other the rest of the night. Maybe its a better idea to do that first? After that I do plan on asking her out just the two of us, if things go well obviously. Yeah I think thats a good idea - "So in this case I might suggest something like that over a movie." So Ill probably start off with that. I really want this to work out, maybe too much ... Is that bad ? I just dont want to come across as some kind of creep haha!