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Message: HTML is not enabled. UBB Code™ is enabled.	[QUOTE]Originally posted by kaleyedoscope: [QB] It's been a long distance relationship for almost a month now. We met as I was on study abroad and lived at a residential college (like a dorm) in Australia, as he is a permanent student there and I tried to stay longer but financially, things didn't work out to allow that. I'm trying to save my money to go visit in May and he is doing the same to come for July. I have a year and half of school to finish. And then, I really want to move to Melbourne for a while. And it wouldn't be just because of him that I move. I have friends over there as well and it is a wonderful city and great culture. I love it there. It was the only place I really ever felt welcome and that I could be myself. We were really good friends to begins with..we could be ourselves with each other, it was always so easy to talk to him, and we would stay up for hours just hanging out. At first, I didn't want to admit that I was having feelings for him because I never want to ruin what we have or lose him in my life. But it became really hard for bth of us to ignore the feeling we had and we started dating...and literally, he's helped show me the happiest time in my life thus far. I love him so much and it really does hurt not being able to be with him. There aren't any particular things that make me feel insecure. I am secure in that I trust him fully, he is very honest, and he is extremely supportive. He has always been there for me. Even when I had anxiety and caused myself a pregnancy scare...he was there. He understood. He even went to the store and got a test himself and was there when I took it. I can tell he cares for me and loves me and I know that he's committed as well and that gives me immense security. The insecurity comes from within myself. It's nothing he is doing it's just that I tend to overthink every situation and though I know I do this...I can make myself pretty worried, get that anxious feeling throughout my body, with my thoughts that are really unfounded. For example, if even the thought of another guy comes into my head, even unromantic...I just picture him in my head then I start to worry if I really love my boyfriend because I've thought about another guy. It's ridiculous. It gets worse when I PMS and I sort of lose my ability to express affectionate emotions...if I don't get that butterfly in my stomach feeling at the thought of him then I worry that I don't love him even though I know I do. My anxiety is completely rooted within myself and if I was with him right now it wouldn't be an issue because I don't feel anxiety nearly as much when we're together...without saying any thing I am put at ease by him. He silences any fears that I have. It's just that being so far away is really hard because I'm trying to learn to control my anxieties on my own and I'm not sure how to do it yet. I basically give myself hell for no reason. It's also hard because I'm having issues with not wanting to return to the school I am currently attending and feeling sort of trapped at home and in this place against my will. I wouldn't be surprised if I do have something like GAD, generalized anxiety disorder. People in my family do have it and certain events in my past have left me in a way more likely to experience it. Sorry for this extremely long rant. A lot of the time...it's easier for me to speak to people like this. On the talking twice a day thing...it's not going to last for much longer. We both need to start work and there will be school starting back up so I think we're both just trying to talk to each other as much as possible, trying to enjoy as much time as we can, before we know that our skype sessions, etc. will be really limited. Thank you so much for listening to this. [/QB][/QUOTE]

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