T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 21320
posted 11-01-2009 05:29 PM
I'm not entirely sure what i'm asking here...
Basically, my boyfriend of nearly 8 months is moving to the other side of the world next month For 8 months. I'ts horrible because hes the one i finally feel really happy with. The thing is, it doesnt seem to bother him, obviously he's excited but i try to spend as much time with him as i can, yet he doesnt seem to make effort with me. Ive tried to have the 'what are we going to do' chat, but he always changes the subject and just says "we will just wait and see what happends". I know for a fact hes not the long distance time so im expecting a break up. Its just how unemotional he seems about it that upsets me. Hes also talked about the fact he will most probably be sleeping with other girls while hes there, which is fair enough if we arent together but still makes me feel bad. Basically, any advice on partners going away for a long time, or any ways to try and get over this? Anyone been in the same situation? Thanks..
Member # 13388
posted 11-01-2009 05:43 PM
Here are some links for starters: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships/going_the_distance_a_few_thoughts_on_long_distance_relationships http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/feeling_lost_in_a_long_distance_relationship Plus, two old LDR message board threads: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=000483 http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=003784 I'm sorry to hear you're feeling sad about the distance. However, long-distance relationships totally *can* work; it just depends on what you and your boyfriend are interested in. That said, it does sound like your boyfriend is not interested in the same things you are right now... What kind of bothers me about what he's said is that it sounds like he's making all the calls and taking a lot of liberties, saying things like "he will most probably be sleeping with other girls while hes there, which is fair enough if we arent together but still makes me feel bad." That's a red flag to me right there, not due to his seeing other people potentially but for you two to have not talked about it honestly and openly. And if you don't feel OK with it, that's OK, too-- it's not something you have to accept. I know you're really into this guy and I don't mean to dis that but I am seeing some big lack-of-communication and caring issues here.