T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 36078
posted 11-22-2008 12:47 PM
One of my sibling's partners is moving in for a few days a week but for nearly a month, for the majority of the weekdays. I don't get on with this person - in fact, our ideologies and pretty much every way we lead our lives are at opposites. The person will be in my house the vast majority of the time I'm not at school, and I have to be at home because I have exams coming up (official, external exams) which I really have to pass. I also have lots of interviews coming up (for university) so it will be quite a stressful time anyway.
I think it is almost certain that this partner will be staying. My sibling is not living here at the moment, so it will just be the partner. The partner, however, is loud, messy, unclean... basically the epitome of people I find difficult to tolerate But I'm going to have to tolerate this guy, and I really don't want it to affect my studies. I've asked my parents to speak to him about being quiet and stuff, but whether it'll actually work, I highly doubt (since when he has stayed, with my sibling, it hasn't worked then.) What can I say? I feel really unhappy about this, but my parents are supposedly doing it 'for my sibling'. I know I'm just one person in the house but our household is already pretty fraught with tension and I can't imagine how this is going to help one bit. What's even more annoying is that he's categorically opposed to the kind of studying I'm going to have to do, and takes every opportunity to remind me that it's not worthwhile, bla bla bla. Urgh. [ 11-22-2008, 12:47 PM: Message edited by: thismoment ]
Member # 17924
posted 11-23-2008 09:50 AM
You know, if someone comes to stay
my house, they live on my terms. That means you pick up after yourself, are polite, and act like a guest. If that's not an option, than that person isn't welcome to stay with me. Whether your parents are doing this for your sibling or not, they need to grow a backbone here (pardon me if that sounds harsh) and tell the guest that he needs to clean up his act. Pretty simple. They own the house, it's their roof, and he darn well better respect their rules. Do your best to avoid him when necessary, but you need your parents backing on this. As for the studying, exams and everything, is there a library or coffee shop or someplace you could go that will guarantee you some quiet space to work, as a reprieve from your house?
Member # 36078
posted 11-23-2008 11:44 AM
Yeh, that's what it's usually like here, and all of my guests do that too. But for some reason, my parents think it's okay that this guy doesn't. It doesn't sound harsh, I agree, but I don't know what they're gonna do about it if anything. I suppose I have to wait and see and try and imagine that it will be okay. They're so finnicky and fussy with me, I have no idea how it's gonna work out okay especially as he's so messy etc.
There's a library which I could use, yeh, I might do that. I know it's only temporary and stuff but I really think our household is already so awful, how on earth is this gonna help? I think my parents will just suffer in silence and then end up getting more frustrated and angry than they already do with me (and I am pretty tidy/ clean/ quiet as far as humanly possible!) Then they'll probably take it out on me... :/ Urgh. We'll see. I agree with the avoiding bit. I'll try that as far as possible.