T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 33587
posted 04-24-2007 12:23 AM
hey my name is Erin im new here and dont horribly know my way around yet so im sorry if there might have been a better topic for this....but it seemed appropriate...
so anyways ive been goin out with this boy since november 4 06 its not a horribly long term realationship but weve known each other longer then that and have dated b4. moving on though, he recently moved away to a completly different state to live with his dad and try to get a job and save up for a house for the two of us im so excited about it and naturally a little scared ive never lived out of michigan! im leaving to be with him in august when i officially turn 18. however the problem is that im borderline obese and am very displeased with my body and everytime we get intimate i feel yucky to the point where i dont even enjoy it....i used to at the begining but it really started to get to me before he left! so far ive been trying to diet and exercise a lot more im gonna get on some kind of plan thing like wieght watchers when i can afford it but when i go down there i wanna feel sexy for him for myself! i want to be able to enjoy things again withought my wieght being a problem! i just need someone to listen to me and throw in some advice here and there! it would be great seeing how i have failure friends which is one of the reasons i cant wait to get down there please and thank you -Erin
Member # 30315
posted 04-24-2007 08:19 AM
Hey Erin, welcome to Scarleteen!
I've struggled with my weight for almost five years now... I was borderline anorexic for a while and then I swung the other way - after going to college, I gained about 20 pounds, which I am now trying to lose. But really, you shouldn't be in the mindset that your life starts five pounds from now, or ten, or twenty, or whatever. Love your body because it belongs to you! Own it, rock it, be confident in your skin. By all means, eat healthy, exercise bunches, but do it because it's good for your mind and body, not because you feel a pressure to be skinny. Honestly, if you're not comfortable with yourself, then losing a huge amount of weight won't necessarily magically make you happy with the way you look - so try to change that mindset that being skinny is the only way to be, even as you improve your health. Here's an article you might want to check out: Seven Ways to Love Your Body Hope this helps
Member # 33587
posted 04-24-2007 05:02 PM
this does help some but its something ive always struggled with because of the medications im on makes it hard for me to lose but super easy to gain.....
anyways i do love my body to an extent i definatley see room for improvment and thats all im trying to do im not aiming for anorexia or anything just more healthy today i woke up super early did about 20 crunches and went for a walk on the beach with my dog! i plan to start doing that more and i am watchin what i eat more (i have a tendancy to be a pig) lol thanks for taking the time out to respond!
Member # 3
posted 04-24-2007 05:10 PM
Hey Erin: have you read any books on the subject?
If not, I'd be happy to suggest a few for you. It's a bit dangeous to look at our bodies like home improvement projects. As in, "Well, I love the kitchen, but the bathroom has to go, and the dining room will be fine once we paint it." It's really important to invest our energy in accepting our bodies as they are, at any time, entirely. Every part of them doesn't have to be our favourite, of course, but simple acceptance is really key. And you can still work on that AND work to take up healthier habits with what you eat and how much activity you get. And until you have that acceptance, you'll likely have these problems, especially since our bodies are really always changing: they are never static, and how we look one decade can be pretty different from the next. You made pretty clear there in that post that you DO have some pretty harsh limitations on your body acceptance: feeling disgusted with your body when someone you WANT to be intimate with touches it is pretty extreme. So, by all means, enjoy beach walks with your dog, if nothing else, just for the sake of the movement, being outside, and spending time with your critter. Enjoy those situps. Eat food in such a way that it's nourishing and good for you, but also work to be okay with pigging out sometimes -- there's nothing wrong with that. And when you do all that for ENJOYMENT, not just to make your body look a given way, then enjoying your body gets a LOT easier.
Member # 1679
posted 04-24-2007 05:35 PM
As well, if you are concerned about your physical health or the side effects of medications that you are taking, do speak with your doctor about it. Especially since you are taking meds, you'll want to check with your doc before making any wholesale changes to your diet or exercise routine. (As Heather said as well, by all means do things that you enjoy and that make you feel good! But do make sure that you are being safe about it.)