You know, we have to be REALLY careful when stating absolutes that "prove" someone's love for another, since there really are no absolutes as people and relationship models can differ greatly. Some of the strongest couples I know are polyamorous, and I assure you, they "really" love one another.
Duff, what I'd suggest is thinking about what *you* want to do, and if it is to take an additionnal partner, then it's time to talk to your current partner about what sort of partnership works for you two. If you and he are okay with one another taking other partners (and with the extra safety precautions and communication that requires -- hint: it's more work than being monogamous), then that's great, though I'd have to say in my own experience that it's best that sort of discussion be had in person, and not on the advent of another relationship or sexual liason occurring.
If you don't think you and your current partner could be comfortable with multiple partners, then the choice you need to make is if you're going to end your current partnership for this thing or not. In my own life, what isn't an option is doing it anyway and lying about it, but obviously, whether or not that is an option for you is only something you know.
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen
My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson
[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 07-27-2001).]