T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 2639
posted 02-06-2001 07:13 AM
Ok I had more to add to my last statment. I became celibate cause I didn't know what to do. See I have a great ferind she and I have shared everything personal openly as FREINDS. But now I'm faling love with her and its creeping her when I tried talking about it. I havn't gotten a really good chance to tell her how I feel but I messed up twice already by telling her and both times she didn't like it. It confusses me I've had crushes before but this wassomthing I thought would grow into marrage. Is becoming celibate wrong? Why do girls Lable you either freind or boyfreind no gray? Is it wrong to have such strong desire to love her even though she doen't like it? I'm worried I'll never get the part of my life stared concerning love if I can't love a freind. And now I'm worried I'm even normal boy at all i'm not becoming erect much anymore. If yu can respond to this pls help
Member # 100
posted 02-06-2001 07:49 AM
Tell you what -- I'm going to move this question to "Relationships" so that you can get some feedback from more people than just one of us Sexperts. I think you're bringing up some interesting questions and I think you'll get more useful feedback if you get input from a range of people, not just a few.
Hanne Blank Co-Editor, Scarleteen
Start a Revolution -- Stop Hating Your Body!
Member # 961
posted 02-06-2001 01:21 PM
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed below are my own, and I don't claim that they'll hold true for everyone.
There's nothing wrong with celibacy. I mean, how could not having sex hurt anyone, unless it's something they didn't choose? And you made it clear that you chose this.
'Friend' and 'boyfriend' are the most common conventional titles for guys we happily interact with. If you'd like another one, why not propose it, and see what various posters think of it?
Puberty does some straaannge things to hormones, and having strong crushes on people who may not like you is par for the course. It can suck, but it's incredibly common, and not generally life-threatening.
Erection is an often unpredictable mechanism, and sex drive can vary. So, unless you've lost the ability completley (it doesn't happen in sleep, when aroused, EVER), there's no need to worry.
Member # 2639
posted 02-06-2001 05:04 PM
thank you for yor responses. I am still a little confused but I think i can work through it now. Maybe celibacy is for maybe not for now I'm just not going to worry about it. And about the title thing I just meant Girls seem to have decided after the first time they met you that your either one or the other and it's like a golden(or silver) rule that IT CAN NEVER CHANGE. Mabey for now I would just like to be called By my name. Instead of "me and my friend ______ "how about just "me and (fill in name) ______" I don't know about anouther title but I just hate jumping into a relationship without even knowing someone. It seems like then people hide behing this I have to look perfect for you (emotionaly, pysically, socaily) and I never get to knoe the real them. Jillain and I are like that she knows my sectrets and I know hers. also when I've seen Jillain wake up after six days of heavy backpacking in the woods before any primping belive me her looks are not at her best maybe her worst.(warning never piont this out) I still see beauty on her face. I see even a gerater beaty when bathing (in my case swim wear on) or later that afternoon cast against a waterfall we just climbed. It makes lifes moments that much more specail. I'm not sure if we weren't freinds I would have ever had these expiriences. It's just hard growing past the boundries of freinship now that we have submitted to the titles for so long.
Member # 1168
posted 02-07-2001 09:13 AM
I've always found that relationships grow and change. For example, I have friends, 'sisters', best friends, people that I will know forever and on and on. I know that in my case I went out with a very good friend, so you see the title "friend" can transform into "boyfriend". I do see your point though, about being just you instead of a title. Unfortunately we humans like titles to explain realtionships. Oh well, that's just us