T O P I C R E V I E W
Heather
Member # 3
posted 06-05-2000 01:38 PM
It's not always easy to keep a long-term relationship fresh.How's it going for you? Are you full of creative ideas to keep it new, or are you running out of fuel?
cloudyMouse
Member # 75
posted 06-13-2000 12:46 PM
3 years into a relationship...it's getting rather routine....I see him ~5 times a week, we go out, sometimes have sex, then go back home. I think maybe a trip somewhere (maybe some exotic Pacific island, romantic Europe, etc) would do some good but we're both still studying (uni) and that means no $$$. And no $, no talk.
------------------ cloudyMouse... as cloudy as you can get.....
Sallynha
Member # 312
posted 07-01-2000 06:21 AM
well im in a relationship for 8 months (tomorrow is our anniversay!!! )and we although we havent gone all the way (and i mean, we didnt even have any form of sex), we've managed to keep it always fresh, and there's something new each time we meet and mess around... ------------------ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~~~~~Sallynha~~~~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Helpful27
Member # 291
posted 07-01-2000 11:55 AM
Throughout my last relationship (which lasted 3 years), I was always able to keep things exciting. This was all without actual intercourse, and I think that made the difference.When you can't have sex, you find a lot of different ways to spice things up. Here are some of the things my GF and I did:
Took a three-day vacation in the big city, stayed at a hotel and saw the rock and roll Hall of Fame.
Nature trails make for exciting places to make out.
Movies.
Dining out.
Cooking at home together.
Sensual massages.
Bathing each other (complete with candles, Calgon, and BIG, soft sponges ).
Strip poker (just the two of us).
Leaving flowers laying around her appartment for her to see when she comes home.
Strip truth or dare.
Silk scarves and blindfolds.
I wanted to try naked, oiled Twister, but we would need someone to call out the colours for us. I still have it. Maybe new GF will want to try it someday.
Spending the night together. Holding someone while falling asleep is very bonding for me.
Toys: The vibrating "back" massager sure is nifty!
Renting soft-core or "high-brow" porn. I recommend "Bliss". It has the guy who player Chancelor Valoran in the Phantome Menace and General Zog in Superman II. It also has Laura Palmer from Twin Peaks.
(Hey, when do I lose my Neophyte status?)
[This message has been edited by Helpful27 (edited 01 July 2000).]
HotGrrl99
Member # 105
posted 07-01-2000 04:52 PM
I think some relationships just turn into total sex. I know girls who see their boyfriends almost every day, but spend like hours in bed, having sex like 4 or 5 times or more a day! They really don't do hardly anything else but have sex! After a while that might start to get old.
lemming
Member # 33
posted 07-01-2000 08:11 PM
mm...speaking of spending hours in bed, that doesn't sound too bad... ;]well, I've been in quite a few relationships that have lasted a year or longer, and the one I'm in seems like a forever-thing...we're not living together at the moment, but we will be this fall, and it still seems like every time we're together we're excited and happy and joyful like we were the first few times...
some of the things that keep us 'in love' as opposed to just 'loving'...
massages, as helpful27 said...
writing poetry to one another
sweet sappy emails
just lying together, holding each other
telling bedtime stories
playing with the cats
playing computer games together
going out with other friends together
cooking
him teaching me to play chess (funny, we can never play a whole game together...)
I list the things I like about him, sometimes, to remind me why we're together...
I would love to travel with him and he with me..we spend hours talking about where we'd like to go...but yes, uni...and need $...but dreams are free...
telling dreams...
and no, we haven't had intercourse...though he's a virgin and I'm not, I'm the one who's not really ready, and he knows that...I'm just sort of afraid, because as HotGrrl said, I *know* that it changes everything.
"You can't go back to holding hands."
------------------ ~the semi-elusive lemming
LilBlueSmurf
Member # 1207
posted 07-14-2001 06:28 PM
Almost four months here ... Things are sort of getting into routine, but everytime i think of it like that, i can think of a handful of things that he does to surprise me ... and that are way out of the ordinary.
We usually walk around town, stop for something to eat, watch the stars, talk about weird dreams, pop the question "where do you think you'll be in 5 yrs", go camping (!!), go to parties, bowling and pizza ... there are tons of stuff to do. DANCE! We were the only couple under 60 that was dancing at my friends' sisters wedding party ... It was adorable We're so much alike, it's scary. We're both oddballs
Eppy
Member # 4254
posted 07-14-2001 08:43 PM
Well, I think the sex thing has a lot to do with it. I've never thought about it, but yeah, not having sex forces you to be creative, and not only that, but I've been browsing other sex websites (not porn sites, but sites similar to this one), and I've read stories where not having sex has revived a marriage.I've only been with my bf for 4 months, and I don't think I could ever get bored with someone that fast. We keep learning new things about each other, and we always have tons of stuff to talk about. I don't see that ending anytime soon. One thing that's keeping it fresh right now, is the fact that we've been apart longer than we've been together since we started dating. He's been out of country and out of state for about 3 out of 4 months. That will change in the fall, but in the meantime, when we're together we make every moment count. We talk on the phone for hours every other night. (And neither one of us likes to talk on the phone!) I think that when we see each other more on a daily basis, one of the things that will keep us from getting bored will be to keep pursuing our own activites, and to spend time with our own friends. And to spend time with our mutual friends together, too. I think that not being alone together all the time will help keep things fresh. And I think that the fact that we don't have sex may have something to do with it... we lay next to each other in bed, totally naked. It's so sensual and romantic. He'll take his hand and just rub it all over my body... not in a sexual way. It's like he worshipping it. It makes me feel like a goddess. Just my 2 cents to add to everything else that's been said.
Daydreamer24
Member # 5578
posted 04-05-2003 10:42 AM
Scorpio
Member # 4154
posted 04-05-2003 12:06 PM
oooooh I like this topic!! My boyfriend and I are getting close to 2 years. There are times when things feel routine but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Our 'routine' days consist of fooling around, taking walk, sitting at the docks having lengthy converstaions and then maybe getting hot cocoa somewhere. But there are still many times when we spice things up a lot.- Doing community service together (great bonding time!)
- Taking a nap together
- Write e-mails to each other
- Play soccer, frisbee or throw around together (great oppertunity to get physical out of the bed)
- Play board and card games
- Strip "poker" (we have our own version )
- When I can drive people (3 weeks!!) we've planned on taking lots of hikes together. This will also open our horizons on places we can go, because we've been spending a lot of time on the bus!
- Renting a movie
- Dancing and singing together in my room
- Do stuff with our familes like go out to dinner, spend the weekend at my families cabin, take camping trip with his family, and playing with his little brothers.
Keeping some change and flexibility in our lives is really important but we still enjoy a relaxing, normal day
a_c_munson
Member # 12477
posted 04-05-2003 09:45 PM
Well having been with my husband for 5 years before we were married (we lived together for 4 and 1/2) and having been married for a while now. #1 is communication, not just about your day, about ideas you have, hopes, fears, ideals. What you believe in. What your dreams are. how to make the world a better place. and what your expatiations of them are. what you think they want of you. When an argument happens you talk about what was done and how it made you FEEL not what they did wrong. #2 listening rally listening when your partner talks. #3 learn to appreciate their friends. They are important to someone you care about. Even if you don't like one of them. You don't have to be friends with them but learn about them. If given the opportunity learn what is going on in their lives. #4 respect your partner. #5 when asked for advice give it then shut up. If they don't follow your advise don't I told you so respect their decision. #6 have your own life. Don't make your whole world one person. #7 be proud of your accomplishments and of your partners #8 learn to tell a funny story. nothing beats laughing in your lovers arms. NOTHING #9 introduce your partner to the things and people you love. #10 start a project together. Be it painting a room, planning a party, or feeding a needy family. #11 If you need something ask for it. Be it time to yourself, a hug, space, a night out. #12 if you hate their pet keep your mouth shut!
West1001
Member # 8317
posted 04-12-2003 11:31 PM
I've been with my boyfriend now for a year and a bit, and things have become very routine. We have many moments where we won't speak to eachother, maybe not even for hours. I love him to death, but I just need some ideas to freshin' things up, ya know?
Eppy
Member # 4254
posted 04-13-2003 02:16 AM
Wow, how startling it was to read this topic and see my name in it! I had forgotten about this!Me and my boyfriend... now fiance! have been together for two years now. We started having sex when we were 7 months into the relationship. We were together all last fall, and the whole summer, and then we were apart again. We're still apart living in different cities. We were both virgins before we had sex, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I had the most wonderful first time experience. And it's been great since. It does get boring from time to time, but when it does, we always think of some way to liven it up again. It's never been as exciting as it was at first though. I don't know if it ever will be again, though I'd like it to... I don't know how to do that. I'm still totally in love, and we do plenty of other things besides sex! We play games, and watch movies, go putt putting, and go to arcades, go shopping, cuddle... LOTS of cuddling.. we still flirt with each other.. tickle each other... it's great fun.