T O P I C R E V I E W
diamonddust44
Member # 96418
posted 08-15-2012 10:53 PM
I have been emotionally abused my whole life. By my family and kids at school. It was hard because i would go to school and get harassed and then come home and it be there to. I have a hard time trusting people since i have been abandoned to many times. I dont know where to go or anything. I am trying coping skills its helping its also nice to talk to others who are going thro the same things. Anyone want to talk and we can try to help eachother?
moonlight bouncing off water
Member # 44338
posted 08-16-2012 07:02 AM
I'm not going through the same thing diamonddust, but I just wanted you to know that you have support before the boards go on breal some time today I guess.
diamonddust44
Member # 96418
posted 08-20-2012 05:24 PM
thanks ya i am feeling abandond and dont know what to do. Some days my dad is in a great mood and then others makes me feel like crap and i am a nosense. So i dont know what to do and feel and think anymore
copper86
Member # 95710
posted 08-20-2012 07:31 PM
I was bullied a bit when I was little, so I do understand how you feel. I'm also similar to you in the way that I often take other people's views or opinions about me and project them onto myself - so, if one of my friends is having a bad day and he or she snaps at me or is mean to me, I automatically think badly of myself and think they're mad at me. However, as my mother and other people tell me: you can't control other people's responses or reactions to you or what you have to say. However, you can control how you respond. You can choose to let their actions not affect you (I know that is easier said than done, but even thinking that way might help). I'm really sorry that you are feeling alone. I often feel like that too, even though I consciously know that I have people in my life who care for me. I am sure that you have people in your life who care for you and want the very best for you. We care for you here, too. Is there a relative or close friend you could talk to about how you're feeling? Try to take care of yourself by doing favourite activities - going for a walk, having a bath, drawing, writing, or hanging out with friends, whatever makes you feel good - and know that you are important and valued. I hope you feel better soon!
Sans
Member # 91788
posted 08-20-2012 09:08 PM
Hey, diamonddust. I was emotionally and verbally abused by my ex-stepfather, and also had negative experiences from elementary through high school with peers, so I consider my interpersonal skills to be somewhat mediocre. Whatever self-esteem I had been holding onto has been in tatters for awhile. So I understand how hard it can be to formulate an image of yourself that is different from the negative stuff constantly bombarding you all the time. But, as I've read about you in another post, you seem to be grasping onto some really positive and true revelations concerning yourself, so hats off for that! Keep at it, because you are a wonderful person and you deserve to feel GOOD about yourself. If you would like to talk more about your feelings of loneliness and abandonment, you can certainly do that. We'll be here to listen and support you.
diamonddust44
Member # 96418
posted 08-20-2012 09:28 PM
thanks i appreciate it. Its harder for me with my disability. So I struggle a lot. I dont know where to go or what to do.
Sans
Member # 91788
posted 08-21-2012 03:29 PM
By "not knowing where to go or what to do", are you referring to a career path, a choice to be made in your current situation, or something else?
diamonddust44
Member # 96418
posted 08-21-2012 05:15 PM
with how i am feeling and how to manage all of whats goin on with me at the moment. I am going in to Social Work with a minor in Chemical Dependency. So that part I do know its the other part on how to live life or not and so on. I am not harmfull to myself in any way tho
The Real Me
Member # 96324
posted 08-23-2012 03:25 PM
I am going thru the same thing and just yesterday at home it had been so bad i was considering just killing myself but was too scared to go thru with it but i did cut my wrist and arms up bad and i havent done that ever until then. I am really bad off and it is really hard. so if u wanna talk im here.
The Real Me
Member # 96324
posted 08-23-2012 03:27 PM
I also could talk to somebody. cuz honestly im scared whats gonna next..........
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
posted 08-23-2012 03:42 PM
The Real Me, Want to check in with you about those cuts. Do they need to be checked out by a doctor? What are you doing to keep things clean and make sure there are no infections? If you are thinking seriously about suicide, that's a clear sign that it's time to get some help from someone, whether it's a doctor or a counsellor, or both. Do you have someone in your life whom you trust to help you with this?
The Real Me
Member # 96324
posted 08-23-2012 05:31 PM
The cuts are no so bad that i need to go to the doctor and i have been keeping them washed and used proxcyde onthem and a ointment too. I also feel i dont have anybody to trust with this. Everybody, even parents turned their backs on me.
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
posted 08-23-2012 06:23 PM
i'm glad to hear you're keeping them clean, and am sorry to hear you feel like everyone has turned their backs on you. I think we might have talked about this before, but my memory isn't what it used to be: are you in school?
diamonddust44
Member # 96418
posted 08-23-2012 08:06 PM
i dont know what to do anymore. I cant handle this pain. I cut last night on both wrisits. My parents compared me to a hooker on meth. so basically i am not worth anything. I have been abdononed by everyone. Please i dont know anymore. I am sorry to everyone i have not been perfect. The person that you all want me to be, i have no friends or anything. My parents hate me so i cant even rely on them. I cant move to my own place i cant get a job.
Heather
Member # 3
posted 08-23-2012 08:16 PM
diamonddust: you noted in another thread, you are back at college right now. So, can you go ahead, tonight or tomorrow, and go to student health services to make clear you need mental healthcare ASAP?
diamonddust44
Member # 96418
posted 08-23-2012 08:20 PM
they dont have free therapy. I can afford the 150 a session. My mom does not think i need to talk to someone, she was like you cant talk to so meone 24/7. So i dont know what to do. i have no money. I know there is places for free to low cost i dont know how to really find it tho.
diamonddust44
Member # 96418
posted 08-23-2012 08:22 PM
the real me. I have dont that to. I think it will be nice to talk and offer eachother support. Do you want to start another thread so its not so confusing in the ya me or something?
The Real Me
Member # 96324
posted 08-24-2012 02:04 PM
Yeah i would diamonddust. And no i am not in school. Im currently working on getting my G.E.D. Robin
diamonddust44
Member # 96418
posted 08-24-2012 02:21 PM
whats going on at home?
The Real Me
Member # 96324
posted 08-24-2012 02:38 PM
Well basically my dad has been nonstop yelling, cursing, and calling me terrible things; My mom has been yelling at me alot and says she cant believe she had a f*** up like me and i cant help i am Bipolar and ADD; Everyday i get beat up by siblings and they say horrible things you couldnt believe; My parents hold me back from everything and i feel like i have no space or freedom to breathe; And to top it all off we are terribly struggling with money. Its SOOOO hard to even live in my own house and i honestly scared to death.
diamonddust44
Member # 96418
posted 08-24-2012 02:45 PM
ok well talk to your dad. Let it go in one ear out the other. Yes that is a lot harder then it seems. How old are you? I have that going on with me to. I know how it goes. Do you like to exercise? Maybe try that, get in shap if its needed. Are you on any meds? When did you get diagnosed with Bipolar and ADD? Can you go to your room and stay away from your siblings and parents? Do you have any trusted adult you can confind in? If so talk to them. There is only so much someone can do via internet. I need in person help as well. Talk to someone you can trust.
The Real Me
Member # 96324
posted 08-24-2012 03:01 PM
*I am 16 years old. *I exercise-i hiphop dance alot. *Yes i do take meds. I was dianosed at 5 with ADD and 8 with Bipolar. *Yes i do go to my room but still they keep it up. *And no it seems everybody i been close to has stabbed me in the back which makes it hards.
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
posted 08-24-2012 03:11 PM
HI The Real Me, I'm just now getting back to you with some resources. I apologize for the wait, as it's pretty clear you're in need of some outside help. First of all, here is the number for a toll-free crisis line. I'm looking for one local to your area, but in the meantime you can call this one if you need to talk to someone. 800-273-8255 To support your family with the financial difficulties you're all having, here's a resource you and your family can try. 1-877-423-4746
diamonddust44
Member # 96418
posted 08-24-2012 03:14 PM
Robin please can i talk to you? I really need someone to talk to. I am sorry please tho give me a chance.