T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 30895
posted 06-30-2009 09:28 PM
I've been sexually active for about 3-4 years now, yet I've never been able to reach an orgasm just from sex. I've had orgasms from clitoral stimulation in addition to sex (and even that is more time-consuming. My partner is almost always faster than I am), but I'm starting to get discouraged--will I ever be able to get off from just a penis!? Sex still feels really good, but even when it's great, my partner will get off and I'll sometimes end up unsatisfied (granted, he's a fairly new guy, so even with good communication, sometimes the just-because-you're-done-doesn't-mean-WE'RE-done vibe isn't too clear). I know it's unhealthy and unreasonable to feel this way, because I'm sure many others are in my boat (and it's normal, blah blah haha) but sometimes I feel WEIRD for not being able to get off, or for taking so long. =( I've heard before that I'm part of the majority-- something like 70% of women can't get off without clitoral stimulation. But is this changeable? For me, it's not a mental or emotional block. I'm perfectly comfortable, the communication is relatively good, and I've tried many different positions (some better than others). So my main question is-- Is this a genuine biological issue? Or just luck for some women? WHY?! From hearing stories from my friends, the "internal orgasm" is really different, and much stronger than an orgasm from clitoral stimulation. I love my body and all, but I'm finding myself to be kinda JEALOUS that it is so easy for other women to get satisfaction!! Thanks a lot!
Member # 25425
posted 07-01-2009 12:10 AM
There IS a biological reason: the vaginal canal simply does not have a lot of nerve endings beyond the first inch or so. So, while plenty of women can experience orgasm from penetration alone, most women don't, and need extra stimulation.
It's also not true that there are two types of orgasm. Pretty much every orgasm you'll ever have, regardless of which activity you're engaging in, is going to be different from all of the others. Here's an article that explains this more in depth:
The Great No-Orgasm-from-Intercourse Conundrum
Member # 43163
posted 07-03-2009 07:56 PM
Even though you're active with your partner, knowing your body and exactly what you like is still so, so important when it comes to your sexual satisfaction. If you don't already, you may find that masturbation might help you better figure out exactly what you need to help you orgasm. You've probably read it or heard it before, but -- being comfortable with your body and knowing what you need really does help!
Member # 30895
posted 07-07-2009 10:09 PM
September, thank you so much for that link! I don't know how I missed it...
Regardless, I'm still a wee bit jealous of that 30% who CAN. I wish that it was public knowledge that women generally take longer (around twenty minutes) to orgasm than men, so less of us will feel like weirdos!