T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 39406
posted 07-27-2008 06:35 PM
I understand that everyone is different when it comes to sex, but when my boyfriend stimulates my clitoris, I don't feel much. From what most articles have described, it's the most sensitive part of the vulva...so why don't I get any pleasure from it? After only a minute or two the area goes numb, even if the stimulation is gentle. I don't understand this. Is that just how my body is or is it an issue with the nerves down there?
Member # 33665
posted 07-31-2008 06:31 PM
Have you tried experimenting on your own (i.e. masturbation) to see if maybe there might be a particular technique that you prefer? If it's something that just isn't enjoyable for you, even after experimenting by yourself, then that's fine too. Every body is unique and there's no reason to continue doing something if you don't find it enjoyable. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, either, it just means that this isn't something that you enjoy as much as another activity.
Before giving up, though, I would suggest spending an evening alone with yourself and trying a few different techniques. It's a lot easier to acheive an orgasm on your own than with another person. Once you figure out what you enjoy, it'll be a lot easier with a partner since you can just play an air traffic director and guide them to all the right spots.
Member # 3
posted 07-31-2008 09:05 PM
I'd also point out that very direct -- even if gentle -- clitoral stimulation isn't somehing all women like. Plenty prefer more indirect or general stimulation, such as only over the hood, the indirect stimulation vaginal intercourse or vaginal manual sex can provide, or through things like frottage ("dry humping").
All the same, I'm with orca: how do things go for you, alone? And are you feeling physical and emotional pleasure and arousal generally before attempting any kind of sex?
Member # 39591
posted 08-01-2008 11:09 PM
I have the exact same problem. I get no stimulation at all from my clitoris. I just feel like "okay move on the the next thing.. " masturbation or oral doesn't do anything either, trust me I've tried. I haven't been able to have an orgasm either I've just recently started having sex with my boyfriend, and i mean i really enjoy it but i don't know what feels best to me yet i can't find it. on my own dose nothing to me, just kinda boring. its just really frustrating.
Member # 39406
posted 08-13-2008 02:18 PM
Well I've tried figuring things out on my own, and I really haven't gotten anywhere. I am physically and emotionally aroused before my boyfriend and I ever try anything, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. It really just doesn't feel sensitive, even my boyfriend has said things along the line of "you don't seem to feel anything".
Member # 3
posted 08-13-2008 02:21 PM
Have both of you seen if anything happens with a vibrator yet?
I suggest that because it's pretty darn hard NOT to feel strong sensation with a vibrator on your clitoris. If you didn't with that, then I would suggest either a) reevaluating if you really are feeling sexual desire, and/or b) having a chat with your OB/GYN about this issue.
Member # 36078
posted 08-14-2008 05:00 PM
I have also found that my clitoris isn't very pleasurable, or not more than elsewhere. It just feels strange touching my clitoris directly, yet it 'throbs' (can't think of a better way of phrasing it) if I am remotely aroused. Is the clitoris supposed to always be the more sensitive area? When I masturbate or a partner fingers me internally, and stimulates the vaginal walls that feels better than any clitoral stimulation, and also whenever I orgasm it seems to be pretty much mainly through internal stimulation. I've not yet tried a vibrator though.
[ 08-14-2008, 05:05 PM: Message edited by: thismoment ]
Member # 3
posted 08-14-2008 05:34 PM
Personal mileage varies here.
Do bear in mind, though, that the clitoris isn't just the externally visible bits: the shaft, hood and glans. In fact, a lot of where vaginal sensation comes from in the areas where it is sensitive is also really about the clitoris - the internal portions. The clitoral bulbs, for instance, surround the opening of the vagina and the first inch or so of the canal. So particularly when we're really aroused, and those bulbs swell, a woman can actually get some substantial sensation from intercourse in some ways largely due to the clitoris, not the vagina itself. To get a better idea of what I'm talking about, you can look at our diagram of the internal clitoris here -- -- or watch Betty Dodson illustrate and explain it fantastically here: Pink Parts - Female Sexual Anatomy http://www.youtube.com/v/cWRO0IIN_QE&hl=en&fs=1 (That video, by the way, is all about illustrations and just about anatomy, but if you're at work or school, it may not exactly be something you want to have on screen.)
Member # 36078
posted 08-15-2008 10:44 AM
Heather, I watched that video and it really makes much more sense now! Especially what the 'throbbing' is, and how it feels differently, a different sort of pressure in different areas. Does the clitoris also make the texture of the vaginal walls change, and feel like they're swelling, or is that not so much related? I suppose it's difficult to understand because you can't see it all and when you are aroused it's not like you generally sit and try and work out what's happening! I'm so surprised none of this stuff really got taught in sex ed... or that the book my parents gave me (probably to save their embarassment of explaining) had next to nothing about this. I never realised it was so complicated!
Member # 3
posted 08-15-2008 11:10 AM
Those texture changes, and that swelling of the walls themselves, when both happen, is more about increased blood flow to the whole area than about the clitoris.
But yep: that throbbing is because that's erectile tissue, and a lot of that differing sensation with differing pressure, also the clitoris. It is a bit complex and mysterious, but a lot of why it often seems so confusing when you fall upon it, I think, is because the way most folks teach sexual anatomy is about what does what per reproduction more than sex. It was interesting working with my illustrator for the book (the fantastic Molly Crabapple) and trying to explain how to get the internal clitoris into the cross-section diagram because I had so few other illustrations which included it for her to reference!