T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 26078
posted 11-07-2005 06:45 PM
Hi. Me and my g/f experienced one of our first manual sex experience. After I stopped, she was bleeding and I had blood on my hand and we know it's normal but I'm scared that I might have hurt her. She said that she was pleased enough, "more than enough" quoting her so im just worried that i might have been to rough or touched something that i wasn't suppose to. Is this common to happen with everyones' first time? (was she suppose to bleed?)
Member # 3
posted 11-07-2005 07:01 PM
Well, there are a couple possibilities.
Were you using plenty of lubricant AND either latex gloves, or were very attentive to your hands and nails first (as in: nails trimmed and filed, hangnails cut, etc)? if not, the bleeding was likely due to abrasions, and no, that's not cool. So, next time, if you didn't this time, you need to tend to those things.
Was she aroused first, and was most or all of the manual sex "fingering," as in, fingers inside her vagina, rather than focusing just as much on her clitoris and whole vulva? Nort doing that can also cause abrasions and micro-tears.
Lastly, if you were doing vaginal entry and she had a partial hymen, the bleeding could also have been because of normal stretching of that hymen.
Heather Corinna Editor & Founder, Scarleteen ST blog • about Heather & Scarleteen "You have to love women who are brave enough to do things so big in a world where women are supposed to be so small." - Andrea Dworkin
Member # 26078
posted 11-07-2005 07:39 PM
OK. I understand what some possibilities could have been. She wanted me to do it and i felt comfortable enough to do so. But before then, i did make sure my hands were ready for the moment. I only used one finger and my nail was filed, had no hangnails and it seemed fine. Before I continue on....we stopped before she was fully aroused because of the amount of time we had private. I focused on every part of her vagina equally. Yes I did do vaginal entry. It seemed to be from stretching of that hymen but I wanted to be sure. It was a special moment to us which brought our hearts and love even closer. Thanks for the help. I just have many questions to be answered and this was one of them.
Is it wrong to not use a latex glove if she finds it more soothing for it to be "skin to skin"? She doesnt find a real connection if both skins are touching. Do you understand what I'm tring to say by that? Thanks a lot for your help! I'll be waiting!
Member # 22471
posted 11-07-2005 08:04 PM
If you're not using a latex glove, just be sure your hands are clean (wash them beforehand), and be sure you're keeping good care of your fingernails to avoid causing abrasions and using lubricant for penetration to make it a bit easier and more comfortable.
Member # 3
posted 11-07-2005 08:09 PM
I understand what you're saying, but your partner is really going to have to revisit that idea, because the truth is, that just isn't the world we live in.
In other words, unless she is going to have one partner and one only her whole life -- which is incredibuly unlikely -- she's going to have to practice safer sex. No one is closer because of Chlamydia or Herpes. Really.
And you know, it's an idea that seems sensible (and sounds romantic, often the big appeal), but it's earnestly not. Physical intimacy is the representation of emotional intimacy, which happens in our heads and heart and interpersonal dynamics. Skin is all nice and well and good, but it's not what intimacy is about. Heck, even if she's going to become sexually active to the tune of intercourse, she'll be needing to use some form of birth control if she doesn't want to become pregnant, all of which are some barrier or alteration to one's body.
At some point in her life, might she be in a relationship where she can enjoy all kinds of sex that's 100% "skin-to-skin?" Sure. But until she's been IN that sort of relationship for at least six months, with six months OF latex barriers AND two full STI screens each with herself and a partner, it's really foolish and reckless to do so for most genital sexual activities.