T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 17839
posted 07-27-2004 10:43 PM
Hi there... just need to get some things off my chest and maybe find some support. Long nonsense ahead - for those who have anything to do, or who dislike rambling without any practical purpose, now is the time to walk away :P
The thing is, I'm 18 and I've been with my bf for some months. We're more or less sexually active, meaning that we've engaged in dry sex and manual sex, but nothing more than that. I've masturbated him and he has ejaculated on me a couple of times (yeah, I know we should be using a condom; I've talked to him about it and we're gonna use it from now on), but aside from that it's just my hand that has come into contact with his semen, nothing else. And even in that couple of times in which he ejaculated on me, I still had some of my clothes on - including my underwear.
The fact is that, even though when I think about it rationally I come to the conclusion that I have nothing to worry about, I can't help it but ALWAYS be afraid of becoming pregnant, no matter what we do. If he ejaculates on me, I'm afraid that the semen might somehow drip into my vagina even though I have my panties on. If I masturbate him, even though I always wash my hands afterwards, I'm afraid that the semen will somehow manage to get me pregnant when I go to the bathroom or something. If he grinds his penis against my vulva - being covered by my underwear -, I'm afraid that the pre-cum might soak throgh my panties and get me pregnant all the same. Yeeesh, I guess that the best words to describe me would be 'an utter and complete paranoid'. Bear with me
The fact that I'm obsessed with not getting my period doesn't exactly help either - my period has always been fairly regular, but I don't tend to keep track of it or anything, and I just tend to remember that it's due to happen during the last week of each month. Well, it's the last week of this month and my period hasn't arrived. Everything else IS here already, from the aching of my breasts to the usual cramps, and even some blood, only really really really light amounts of it, and not even during the whole day. But, since I've heard that you can bleed a little even when you're pregnant, that doesn't erase my worries completely.
(BTW, yes, I know that stress and things of the like, such as being worried or obsessed with something, can alter hormonal cycles and as such alter periods as well... so my 'being-worried-about-my-period-not-coming' might actually be the cause for it not having come already... but I just can't help it but worry)
Soooo... that's about it... if you managed to read through all of this and actually agree with the fact that I have no reason to worry, I would appreciate it very much if you said so.
PS_Sorry if this message is in the wrong forum, I wasn't exactly sure about where to post it :P
Member # 9158
posted 07-28-2004 05:43 PM
honestly i dont think u really have a reason to worry but like wats taught here at scarleteen u should always use the safest route. one thing that i must comment on is...why is it that you continue to engage in these types of activities if all ur gona do is stress afterwards?...showing affection and displaying sexual feelings shouldn't be something that makes you feel bad so just take into consideration how its affecting you emotionally and mentally.
Member # 3
posted 07-28-2004 05:48 PM
Actually, if your cycles are regular, over time, your period will stop coming on the last week of the month, because menstruation tends to occur along lunar cycles, not months with numbers of days.
In other words, if I got my period every 28 days, on the first week of the month, within just a few months, I could be on the last week of the month. See what I mean?
I'd suggest that until YOU feel better about all of this, you hold off from sex with a partner (I'd say from sex with a partner where pregnancy is an issue, but then you might find you're worrying about other things, and if you're heterosexual, that's moot anyhow). What you've been doing, if you aren't having genital contact with other genitals or semen doesn't carry pregnancy risks. However, if you're THIS worried, that's a pretty clear indicator trying to tell you now isn't a good time for partnered sex for you.
Member # 19107
posted 07-28-2004 05:52 PM
And remember that after about 20 minutes, all sperm are pretty much dead and inactive. So you will have no chance of getting pregnant after that.
Member # 1207
posted 07-28-2004 06:06 PM
Whooa !! Hold on there ... That's only half true.
Sperm only live approx 20 minutes outside of the body ... But they can live for up to
seven days inside a womans body.
Member # 17839
posted 07-28-2004 07:22 PM
Thanks a lot to everybody, I think I'm a little less stressed now
However, I'm not sure if the solution to all this is stopping all sexual activities until I feel better about all this - because I don't think it's a matter of our behaviour being irresponsible or anything. I mean, it's just me getting worried without apparent reason, and that is likely to happen again and again. Even if I stop for some time. How am I supposed to learn to stop worrying? It happens automatically to me. In fact, these worries always make me feel bad about myself after we've finished any sort of sexual contact. Even if I'm all happy and comfy at first, then I start to feel depressed.
Any advice? As I've said before, I'm not really sure that the problem is 'me engaging in sexual activities' as much as it is 'me being overly worried when I have nothing to worry about'. Neither me nor my boyfriend know what we should do...
And actually, reading through some notebook I found, where my mum notes down when her period starts, I discovered mine isn't supposed to be due until next week, more or less (I really should start to keep track of this myself, and it would save me lots of stress :P). So some of my worries have disappeared, especially considering that everything is just the same as it would be if I were about to get my period in a few days - cramps and really slight bleeding.
My question is, is there ANY WAY I could be getting this slight bleeding (I sometimes bleed a bit some days before my actual period), these cramps (the usual cramps in my belly, which I also get before my period and during the first days of it), and these aching of my breasts (I hadn't noticed it until last month, in which it also happened during the beginning of my period), should I be pregnant? I mean, there's no reason I should worry, since my risks of pregancy are so very low (no genital contact at all), and I'm getting all the usual syptoms, even though I'm not sure when my period is going to come... right?
[This message has been edited by Kotori (edited 07-28-2004).]