T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 252
posted 07-21-2000 12:19 AM
hey whats up guys? im just wondering... when you have anal sex, could u do it without a condom and not get STDS? even if the guy definately doesnt have any...??? w/b
also, your not losing your virginity when you have anal sex, am i correct?
Member # 94
posted 07-21-2000 04:48 AM
Actually, anal sex is even MORE likely to transmit STDS than penis-in-vagina intercourse, because the flesh around the anus can easily be torn. There's also some nasty bacteria that lives in the anus that can cause infections. You should definitely always use a condom- and if you plan to have any other kind of sex afterwards you need a new condom, and also make sure that every body part that had anal contact is washed before moving on too.
As for virginity- as Miz Scarlet so often says, it's a cultural term, which ultimitely, we define for ourselves. I think that the "traditional" definition applies only to penis-in-vagina intercourse, but that's a pretty restrictive definition of sex, given all the different things you can get up to. If someone had had anal sex, but not penis-in-vagina sex, I personally wouldn't say they were a virgin or a non-virgin. I'd simply say they are a person who has had anal sex and a person who has not had penis-in-vagina sex.
Member # 252
posted 07-21-2000 11:21 AM
but what if the person does not have any STDS at all, and he got tested recently? STDs are always supposed to show up, so I don't believe that some dont show up for years.
Member # 3
posted 07-21-2000 11:37 AM
Sheller, if this is the same guy that you were talking about in your other post, the same rules apply.
You know, without being unduly harsh, you can believe what you want to, but if you knew all the answers, you probably wouldn't be asking the questions.
No medical test is 100% reliable, and more times than not, most people are NOT fully screened for all STDs, especially men, because the screening for somethings (like HPV) is intensely uncomfortable. Since your partner has had other sexual experiences in the past, and since the two of you don't always practice safer sex, it's likely he hasn't with others as well. Some test results for positives don't show for a decade. Some never do. You don't believe us (who do this for a living) then ask your doctor or clinic. Medical science is by no means infallible, and any doctor will tell you that.
It is impossible to know if anyone has no STDs at all, without a shred of doubt. End of story. What risks you take knowing that are obviously your call. But anal sex is a fantastic transmitter of sexually transmitted disease and infection, and no one on staff here would ever recommend that anyone do it unprotected, even for those of us who HAVE been tested for decades.
You should have gotten tested already by your previous experience, and if you haven't, you should go, and while you're there, you can ask all of these questions of your gynecologist.
Meanwhile, ask your boyfriend what tests he has had done and go ahead and ask to see all the results. That alone should answer some questions. If he has been routinely (and I mean more than annually) tested for MINIMALLY HIV, Gonorrhea and Syphilis, Herpes and HPV I will be completely amazed. Even that only provides a small level of security, but I'm willing to bet even that isn't the case.
Member # 252
posted 07-21-2000 12:31 PM
he says that a condom will cause more pain...cuz of the friction..and yes he has had protected sex, and he has never had anal sex with anyone.
Member # 3
posted 07-21-2000 12:39 PM
Pardon my french, but that is a load of crap.
You cannot have anal sex without using lubricant, period. And when you use lubricant with a condom, there is no more friction than there is with bare skin, which also provides friction. Either he doesn't know what he's talking about, or he's feeding you a line.
Again, you want to play it his way, that's your choice. But I would never endorse unrpotected anal sex, especially with someone whose "truths" really seem quite questionable. Humoring someone else for no good reason out of ignorance or...god, I don't know what...sure isn't worth my life or someone elses' down the road. You think it's worth yours, that's your business, but I think we've answered the question pretty clearly.
At this point, what you do with that knowledge is up to you.
Member # 3
posted 07-21-2000 01:06 PM
One more little note: friction -- in anything -- is increased by how rough or smooth a surface is, and how porous or nonporous.
Bare skin, being porous and multiply-textured is a FAR greater agent for friction than a unilaterally smooth, nonporpous texture like latex or polypropelene, especially when lubricated.
I should also add here (I'm sorry, but this has me very worried about you and concerned) that if you're really interested in it, aroused, and have had other anal stimulation, there is no need for anal intercourse to be painful for you. And if it is, you shouldn't do it.
...and I really hope you ask for those test results of his, and hope you get tested yourself.
Member # 252
posted 07-21-2000 02:10 PM
how do I get his test results? would he still have them in his house somewhere? i dont get it...also, anal sex isnt painful to me...cuz we used some sort of lubricant. I want to get tested but i am scared.....how can i get there w/out my parents driving me or knowing? I would have to go with my bf right? what if he threw the results out or something? I am thinking maybe we both should just get tested together at the same time, and see each other's results
since my bf and i pinky swore not to tell anyone what we do together, im not saying we did or didnt do anything.
Member # 78
posted 07-21-2000 02:15 PM
I'd like to include an example to support what Beppie said.
-There's also some nasty bacteria that lives in the anus that can cause infections. You should definitely always use a condom- and if you plan to have any other kind of sex afterwards you need a new condom, and also make sure that every body part that had anal contact is washed before moving on too.
I had anal sex and my parnter did not change the condom before enterng my vagina. I got a terrible urinary tract infection (like there is a good one!). Please, I don't want to have anyone go through what I did. I was ignorant, I did not know. If you are reading this you are becoming better informed about your health and sexuality. Don't do anything unless you know the facts. I wish I had because I could have avoided the pain and some permanent side effects (one being that I have difficulty holding my bladder as compared to before -not life threatening, but definitely not pleasant).
[This message has been edited by bettie (edited July 21, 2000).]
Member # 3
posted 07-21-2000 02:16 PM
He should have all his results, as you said he was tested several times. They give you the papers at the doctor for the results they have, and send longer-term results later. You ask him for them, that's how you get them. He says he lost them, have him call where he's being tested and send them again. Clinics keep all their records.
You don't have to go with your boyfriend, but I agree that it would be a good idea if you both were tested again. I also think it'd be a good idea if he started telling the truth a little more often. I know that sounds harsh, but too many things with things you've posted about him saying just don't add up, honey.
You're going to have to break your pinky swear when you get tested and disclose what you've been doing.
I don't know how old you are, or what state you are in, but unless your parents call a clinic and ask for your records specifically, no, they don't have to know.
Call Planned Parenthood's nationwide number (1-800-230-PLAN) and get the number for the clinic nearest to you. They can answer all your questions and get set up. Be sure to tell them you need a full STD screen, not just an HIV screen.
It's scarier to suspect you might have or be transmitting disease (at least it should be) than to be taking care of yourself and others by being tested and by ALWAYS practicing safer sex with high risk sex practices (and unprotected anal sex is the highest, by the way, in terms of risk, especially for HIV).
Member # 7
posted 07-21-2000 02:35 PM
Just use the condom. It is possible that the guy could have something, period. Whether you believe it or not is up to you.
Even if he didn't have anything, it's just a better idea to protect both of your genitals from bacteria.
There's the truth. It's been given to you many times. Whether or not you choose to accept it is up to you. Read the "What's up YOUR butt" article, too. If you don't like that information, then it's really your decision what you choose to do.
MASTURBATING IS NOT A CRIME