T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 107625
posted 08-06-2013 10:32 PM
First off, I'd like to thank you guys (again) for this fantastic site. I really appreciate being able to come here with any questions.
Since having a girlfriend, I have been plagued by worries that things that we engage in have a pregnancy risk, when common sense (and multiple articles on this site) state otherwise. I'll go ahead and give an example: We were sitting and she was on top of me (her with underwear and me with boxers and shorts on) and were carrying on... I remember briefly touching my penis through the shorts and then proceeding to touch her vagina (through the underwear). No worries, right? I found afterwards that more pre-cum than usual had come out and had dampened my boxers visibly. In my head, somehow me touching my shorts in the same spot as the boxers underneath which were damp with pre ejaculate and then proceeding to touch my girlfriend carries a pregnancy risk. There is no risk whatsoever with this, correct? This isn't the first time, either. I guess my question is this: What do you recommend I do about my irrational fears? The obvious answer is "stop engaging in activities that stress you out," I know. But I would like to know if a permanent solution exists, one that would allow my to engage in these activities without me fearing a negative result. Thank you! I apologize for being long winded.
Member # 90293
posted 08-07-2013 09:06 AM
Yes, the first thing we would suggest would be to stop engaging in these activities. When we suggest this, we don't anticipate that the people in question will never be able to engage in these activities again. The human brain is an amazing thing, and quite often how we feel or think (or both) about something will change over time, sometimes all by itself. Sometimes, just as an example, when people become more comfortable with being in a relationship, or are feeling less stress about things in the rest of their life, they find that they feel or think differently about something. In other words, while sometimes we'll need help to move past a worry or fear, it can sometimes be that just giving ourselves plenty of time and space away from that worry or fear can allow us to not feel it in the same way or as strongly, or, sometimes, to not feel it at all. At other times, professional help is needed to deal with the worries or fears. So, for the time being, I would suggest that you stop engaging in the sexual activities that make you worry. After all, sexual activities are supposed to be fun, and if you're worrying during them, or afterwards, that doesn't, in my book, count as fun. You also have the option of seeking professional help with your worries. You could speak with a healthcare provider, or a mental healthcare provider. A mental healthcare provider, also called a counselor or therapist, can teach you ways to manage worries and fears so they don't take over.