T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 107974
posted 07-16-2013 02:04 PM
Hi. My question is can you damage or desensitize the clitoris with an electric toothbrush?
I've been using one since I was 11 and I'm now 22. I discovered it when I tried to see what it felt like to briah other parts of my body. When I was very young I did hurt the clit because I was using the bristles. The doctor said I had scratches. I told her it was new toilet paper lol. Since about 14 I've used one that has a removeable brush with an exposed metal head. My mom once told me it could damage it too. I also uh...put a hair clip on my clit once or twice when I was a younger kid (painful) Could that have...? I think masturbation probably felt good when I was 11/12. But I don't remember it. It feels like something but not good. Sometimes it even feels numb or no sensation at all. I think I orgasm. It gets to a point and then the vaginal muscles softly contract,aybe a second or two. No pleasure, no other sensation or muscles moving. Its boring, and only works with the toothbrush. Over the years I've tried all kinds of things to get off. Fingers humping pillows, jet stream from the bath, sock humping, washing machine vibrations etc. I even bought a hex bug because I read some reviews on it as a vibrator but the vibrations weren't enough. I masturbate once a week at least. I don't really get aroused. I've tried all kinds of stuff: porn, naughty lierature,(actually a couple times a week for years. Addicted) fantasizing. And before its asked I'm very comfortable with my body and exploring my sexuality. I'm worried ive broken my ability to be sexual, or feel sexual pleasure in my clitoris. Maybe i damaged nerves? To add, anal stimulation feels nice. I do want to have actual sex one day and I'm scared that won't feel nice. Is it possible to do that? I know it sounds silly. I even saw an ObGyn and it was an aeful experience. She was rough, didn't tell me what was going on or if I looked okay, took tests I didn't ask for and then told me I needed to "find a friend to play with" I'm worried and scared to go to another one and I didn't get a chance to mention to her the toothbrush. If you guys could help me out that would be great. I'm kind of at my end here. Ps sorry its so long.
Member # 3
posted 07-16-2013 02:47 PM
There is absolutely no basis for the idea that vibrators or toys can "desensitize" the clitoris or other body parts. That's urban legend, not reality or fact.
That, however, is not to say we can't get accustomed to given kinds of stimulation or ways of seeking pleasure or getting off. We can. Just like anything that kind of becomes a habit, it can make it a little tougher to mix things up when we're simply used to one way. Of course, we can also simply find one given way with all of this works best for us and is what we like best, too. But even with you abrading your clitoris by potting a toothbrush on it, that's not going to be a nerve issue, or anything that should present an issue over time. Rather, that likely would have been an issue of the tissue (skin) of or around your external clitoris. Arousal is something that actually happens in our brains, not our genitals. We can just feel its effects genitally: so, if you're having issues feeling aroused in the first place, know that isn't going to have anything to do with your clitoris. I'm so sorry that OB/GYN said what she did. Unfortunately, while OB/GYNs have extensive training in reproductive health, very few actually have training or education is helping patients with sexuality. It's actually really not their job, that's more something for a sex educator or therapist. But ideally, they'd say when they don't have that training, rather than spout out things ignorantly. Mostly, it's sounding to me like the place you need to start with this is with arousal: with finding what what turns you on. Because if you're not starting there, then nothing is going to feel like much of anything genitally. For our genitals to feel very responsive and sensitive, we have to first be turned on. If you want to talk more about that we can, and we can also talk about choosing items for masturbation that are safe and sanitary --and are sex toys that tend to work well for people, made expressly for that purpose -- if you want. Any way of being sexual, for the record, is "actual" sex. If it's a way you're exploring or experessing your sexuality? It's sex, actually.
Member # 107974
posted 07-16-2013 10:01 PM
Ahh. Thank you for the response. I feel so much better. I don't have any women to talk about this stuff.
Do you think the skin could have thickened? I'm not sure if I'm even getting under the hood. I tried looking with a mirror a couple times but I couldnt really tell. Or has my brain just hotten too used to things? I'd like to know more about getting aroused. There are some sexual things I like to think about, like kinks and if I think about them the orgasm comes quicker, but I wouldn't call myself aroused. The closest I Get is just bfore my period when I think of sex more often. I'd like to knoe more about other options in terms of sex toys and stuff. But I've always shied away because I still live with my parents and they tend to be nosy about packages.
Member # 3
posted 07-17-2013 09:53 AM
Not being someone who can look at the tissue of your clitoris, it's impossible for me to say if the skin itself changed after the injury when you were younger.
But, what I can say is that that strikes me as unlikely, given it sounds like it was a very minor abrasion, it happened when you were so young, and how much time has passed. More to the point though, what makes the internal and external clitoris (the part you can see is but one part) so sensitive are the big bundle of thousands of highly sensory nerves inside. And an abrasion, or even some scarring, on the tissue of one part of the clitoris could make it feel different, but what it's not even remotely likely to do is somehow take away all your sensation. Really, you're saying here you rarely get aroused: and that right there is the thing that tells someone who works in sex that that's most likely the biggest issue you're having with things feeling amazing, because that's most of what makes genital stimulation -- or any sexual stimulus -- feel different than say, we feel when wiping ourselves after using the toilet when we haven't been stimulated. You follow? I'm going to toss you a few links to get started with which might help you out in that department: • Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide • With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body • http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/how_to_understand_identify_and_make_choices_about_desire Per sex toys, we can talk about that, too, but sounds like you might first want to see what you can't do in your living space to make some more privacy for yourself. I get you still live at home, but you are also an adult at this point, so asking for some more privacy is hardly an unusual request, nor one that's at all out of order, you know?
Member # 107974
posted 07-18-2013 11:26 PM
That makes sense, on the arousal bit. I will check out the links. It's very hard an confusing to figure this all out. I feel like I'm a very late bloomer or something.
Member # 90293
posted 07-19-2013 08:52 AM
You know, if it's useful to think of yourself as a late-bloomer, then by all means you can do that. While I confess I do use the term occasionally, I actually don't find it all that useful.
One of the things I think you'll find when you do dive into those links is that human bodies, and human sexuality specifically since that's what we're talking about here), is so diverse that we really can't categorize anything about it, including when all, or even most, people develop sexually. In other words, this idea that there's a certain age when all, or even most, people develop sexually, experience arousal, and so on, really doesn't ring true with what we know about sexuality. So, if you're describing yourself as a late-bloomer in any sort of derrogatory way, know that there's really nothing unusual or bad about where you are in this right now. What do you think about what Heather said regarding negotiating some more privacy for yourself? [ 07-19-2013, 11:14 AM: Message edited by: Robin Lee ]
Member # 107974
posted 07-23-2013 02:41 AM
I thought I had responded a couple days ago but I guess it didn't go though. Oops.
I'm not thinking about it in terms of being derrogatory, more like frustrating and disappointing. Its something I've always been disappointed and frustrated with, although I am very interested in sex and sexuality and some rather kinky sexual things. People tend to be surprised I've not figured much out (although I did fook around with an ex and that was pretty blah) because I talk about it so much. I talked to my mom a bit and she said that she didn't figure out sexual pleasure or arousal until her late 20s. Which, I know everything is different but if I'm anything like her, then it could be the same for me which I'm hoping I'm not. In terms of privacy, I could probably figure out something. I do need more privacy in a lot of ways. I'm not likely to leave the house any time soon. I think a lot of it though, is that its kind of scary. I mean even though realistically no one would know if I did get a sex toy or something it feels like every one would know. Plus, like one of the links said 'if you aren't hungry it probably won't feel good to eat." (Which isn't always true, but...) I've tried so much over so many years. I think, maybe this will feel good, now, or this will do the trick but nope. And while I know what I really like to think about sex wise, as in that's interesting, my body and mind seem to be on several different tracks.