T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 100216
posted 11-16-2012 07:09 AM
I am a female living in India. I was about 10 yrs. of age when i was circumcised. Although I used to masturbate at a later age and feel good, I've never had a clitoral orgasm with my boyfriend. And i feel good with vaginal sex but nothing close to an orgasm! Is there anything I can do to remedy this?
Member # 96773
posted 11-16-2012 10:23 AM
Hi Sam, and welcome to Scarleteen!
May I ask what it is about your circumcision that you think may be physically making things different for you? First of all, if you're not reaching orgasm from penis-in-vagina sex? Just know that regardless of what we're told about that through movies, media, etc., it's actually the minority of women who orgasm from this alone! Reported statistics, depending on the study, say as many as 80% of women may not be able to orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. That is, most women need additional forms of stimulation during penis-in-vagina sex. And what additional form(s) really depends on the particular woman. In what ways have you enjoyed masturbating in the past? For example, maybe you could talk to your boyfriend about incorporating that enjoyable masturbation method somehow into your sex together? Many women like some form of clitoral stimulation- although not all can orgasm from that either. If you do want to try to incorporate some more emphasis on the clitoral area, the main thing to keep in mind is that there are SO many different ways in which different women experience pleasure and/or prefer to be stimulated. Some women prefer more intensity in activities like rubbing the clitoris or more sucking during cunnilingus. Some like using the aid of toys like vibrators, such as, for example, using a clitoral vibe for additional stimulation during penis-vagina intercourse. For others, direct and/or prolonged focus on the clitoris can be way too intense and/or can become uncomfortable. Whatever you decide to try out, just remember that using a good amount of lube can always help! Also, here's a (more detailed) good Go Ask Alice article that speaks to this "clitoral vs. vaginal orgasm" question that's definitely worth the read: http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/difference-between-clitoral-and-vaginal-orgasm [ 11-16-2012, 10:34 AM: Message edited by: Claire P. ]
Member # 90293
posted 11-16-2012 10:38 AM
HI Sam and welcome to Scarleteen.
From what you've said here, it doesn't sound like you have any lingering pain from the circumcision, but I just want to check in with you about that. So, any pain or discomfort? I'd like to also check in with you about what you think an orgasm feels like. IN reality, orgasms, and sexual pleasure, feel different for each individual person. Do you still masturbate? i'm not clear on whether you experience orgasm through masturbation and not with your boyfriend, or whether you don't experience orgasm at all. If it is the former, it's not uncommon for people to experience sexual pleasure differently when they're on their own from how they experience it with a partner. You've said that vaginal sex feels good. Does that mean it feels pleasurable, or just pleasant? I'm not certan about the extent of the circumcision you experienced. One thing a lot of people don't know is that the clitoris extends inside the body, so having had any portion of the external clitoris removed doesn't mean that a person doesn't have a clitoris anymore. Scar tissue from surgery can make it difficult to stimulate those internal nerve endings though. As a North American woman, and as a sexual health advocate, I have my own personal and professional feelings about circumcision for women. I'm mentioning this because I want to acknowledge that it's possible for me to unintentionally judge your experiences in ways that don't resonate for you and don't reflect what your experiences actually have been. So, please feel free to let me know if I'm making any mistaken assumptions about your experience of circumcision. I'm giving you a few articles about anatomy and sexual pleasure to read that I think might be helpful to you. WE can continue to talk about how to find pleasure in your body and in your sexual relationship with your partner, and I think these articles will give you some ideas to start with. Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide
With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body
Member # 100216
posted 11-22-2012 12:17 PM
Hi Claire and Robin,
Thank you for your prompt response. I would like to clear one thing here- I did not have any say in my circumcision and personally i do not support such a thing. However, it did pain a lot at that time, but it hasn't pained since. But, I think that probably I have a scar tissue on my clitoris and this is preventing me from getting as much pleasure as i've heard other women get! Probably the information i heard is wrong. Anyway, I still masturbate and it feels pleasant, not really pleasurable. I do attain a sort of climax when my muscles are in a complete state of spasms while masturbating. One more thing, I would like to ask is that is there a way for me to achieve a clitoral orgasm?
Member # 3
posted 11-22-2012 12:25 PM
Sam: I know it might not be very comfortable to discuss, but it's tough for us to answer some of these questions without knowing the kind of circumcision you had. Can you fill us in a little bit more?
We should also make clear that there ultimately isn't such a thing as a "clitoral orgasm." Or a "vaginal orgasm." Those are popular terms, we know, but they tend to misrepresent what orgasm is and how -- and where -- it really happens. orgasm is something that happens in the brain and central nervous system, but we can feel the effects of it throughout our bodies, including in our genitals. And when it happens, it can happen due to numerous kinds of stimulus, and that certainly can include clitoral stimulation. As well, orgasm can feel different depending on the kind of sexual activity that got us there. So, some people find that orgasm they get to via a lot of external clitoral stimulation, for example, feels different than orgasm they reach through other kinds of stimulation. But if when you masturbate, you are stimulating your clitoris and you are reaching orgasm, then it sounds like you already have the answer to the crux of what you are asking, which is that yes, you can achieve orgasm via clitoral stimulation.