T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 97565
posted 10-02-2012 03:59 PM
Hi, so before I was having a pregnancy scare because my girlfriend who is 15 years old kept showings signs of being pregnant. She then had a "period" but it was different from her normal periods.
"'Period' (started 8/27). My girlfriend is only 15 so I know at her age she can be feeling all kinds of things. I just want to know if this is just her hormones and not pregnancy. Day 1 at 7pm: Spotting Day 2 & 3: each day filled almost one full pad Day 4: light flow Day 5 until 1pm: red and pink spotting Her discharge for a period is usually red, but this time is was pink, the whole time until the end mixed with normal red spotting. Her period was also on time (perhaps a half a day early)." Next "period" (9/22),(two days early) and it seemed normal to her, except in length. Day 1 in morning: Spotting Day 2: Heavy flow (filled 3 normal sized pads throughout the day) Day 3: Light flow beginning half of day/ Stopped rest of the day Day 4: Heavy flow Day 5: Spotting and done. Her period is normally 6-7 days long, but these last two "periods" were shorter. Before this, she had a lot of weird symptoms that she didn't normally have. The most worrisome were nausea, extreme fatigue, and hunger/cravings. Those above symptoms are NOT normal for her. As of today (10/2), she has been having light nausea for the past 3 days, urinating a little more than usual, and still really fatigued at times. I'm only 16 so I don't know too much about this so if there are obvious answers, i'm sorry i'm just not experienced enough to know yet. Things to know: -We have NOT had "penetration" sex in literally a year. -We HAVE done dry humping but the last time we did those things were literally 1 month and 3 weeks ago -EVERY time we did ANYTHING sexual like that, there was ALWAYS AT LEAST 3 layers of clothing separating my penis from her vagina. Always. At the very least, her underwear, my basketball shorts, and my underwear. Every time. And no, my hands did not touch my penis and then I touched her down there. AT MOST, maybe pre-ejaculate (NOT fresh wet semen) got on her upper thigh, but I doubt, sperm from pre-ejaculate could have crawled up her thigh right? Also, when dry humping I did ejaculate, but I don't think sperm could have gone through all 3 layers of clothing right? After ejaculation in my shorts, always, maybe no more than 5 secs did I always keep my shorts away from her area. I've read online on lots of different sites how some women "bleed" (not have "periods") throughout their pregnancy, but I would like to know if there are any statistical studies and how likely this is? Normally having one period would be good enough proof but so many people online say that bleeding throughout pregnancy is common (decidual). If that's true, is there any ways to distinguish it being normal menstrual bleeding, from other kinds of bleeding? Remember this is her 2nd "period". I need to know what to look for. Sorry for writing so much but I wanted to be thorough, thank you all for your time. ***Please do not tell me to go buy a pregnancy test. IF any of you think the chances of her actually being pregnant are high, then you can be sure that I will. If you think there is literally almost no chance and I'm worrying for nothing, then I'm just going to take you word for it I'm NOT asking you to tell me if she is pregnant. My main questions, was there even a pregnancy risk to begin with? (If so how much) And if there was no pregnancy risk (which I believe there wasn't), do you have any idea what could be causing the nausea and tiredness and urination? It is not because she thinks she is pregnant, because she doesn't think she is, and the idea wasn't even brought to her attention until yesterday night (two days after the symptoms started) ***The reason I'm asking is because she is telling me her mom (who is pregnant) and sister are "joking" with her saying she is pregnant because of how she is acting (depressed, tired way more, increased appetite, nausea, and stomach aches/pains).
Member # 90293
posted 10-02-2012 06:22 PM
HI Santos and welcome to Scarleteen.
YOu are absolutely right that sperm does not penetrate through clothing and cannot co-create a pregnancy that way. There are a lot of factors that need to be present in order for pregnancy to occur. IN terms of sexual activities, only sexual activities that have a bare penis touching a bare vulva or vagina (such as rubbing bare genitals together, vaginal intercourse, or anal intercourse) or when fresh semen comes into contact with a bare vulva pose pregnancy risks. You haven't described either of these. It's not at all uncommon for someone's periods and premenstrual symptoms to vary from what they've usually been, particularly if she's only been getting her period for a few years (which, given your girlfriend's age, is likely). Also, while some people do experience bleeding during pregnancy, it's not likely to mimic the person's usual menstrual cycle which your girlfriend's experiences, while different from what she normally experiences, still sound like they do. Here's some more reading material to learn about what is and isn't a pregnancy risk, and to hopefully put your mind at ease. Pregnancy Scared? Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction
Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul
Member # 97565
posted 10-02-2012 10:13 PM
Thank you for the welcome and the confirmation that sperm cannot swim through clothing. Also I have already read the first two articles before posting this question, but again, thank you for posting the links. On a side note, do you have any idea what may be causing the nausea, fatigue, or slight increase in urination? It's weird because she says that "liquidy" things make her feel nauseous (i.e. water, ramen noodles, etc). Her nausea turns on and off. When it's off, she eats A LOT. That's somewhat normal for her because she does like to eat a lot, but she seems to be eating faster than normal too. Right now it's been about 8 days since her last "period" (the second one I mentioned in the first comment), so she's in her follicular phase of her cycle still, so her progesterone levels shouldn't be too elevated at the moment. I thought it might be an excess of progesterone that would be causing her esophagus to be soft and allow nausea, but I don't think that's the case now? Sorry I'm only 16 so if anything I have mentioned above is incorrect, please let me know. She is more tired than usual, this nausea, and a slight increase in urination have me baffled at the moment, so any explanation or information you could give me would be helpful. I agree with you in thinking there shouldn't be a pregnancy risk at all, but I don't know why these symptoms would be showing up all of the sudden, 2 months later, no where near her ovulation time, or her period. My other theory, and I don't think she would do this; rather, I'm pretty positive she wouldn't, but on the off chance she did, well... let me explain the story. So the last time we "fooled around" was about a month and 3 weeks ago. I won't go into detail as I'm not sure what this website's regulations are, but to the endpoint, I got literally, a drop of freshly ejaculated semen on her shirt. It was literally a drop, no more or less. She went to go change shirts. On the off chance she wanted to get pregnant, if she had taken the shirt with that drop of semen on it, and pressed it against or in her vaginal area, would there be a HIGH chance of pregnancy? I know that would definitely be a pregnancy RISK, but would the chance of that method working be high? Sorry for writing so much, but again, I'm only 16, don't know much, and feel like I'm worrying myself out for no reason. Thank you again for you time.
Member # 41699
posted 10-02-2012 10:30 PM
Hi Santos, that situation you mentioned would actually only pose a very LOW risk of pregnancy. There'd need to be more than just a drop of semen to pose any real pregnancy risk.
You know, it's possible that these "symptoms" you're worried about aren't symptoms of anything at all -- they're not necessarily all linked. The nausea could be from several things -- maybe she's got a bit of a stomach virus. And the slight increase in urination? Could be from something as simple as drinking more fluids recently. As you can tell from the articles you read, your situation didn't pose any viable pregnancy risk, so you really have no reason to be considering these things possible pregnancy symptoms. If your girlfriend is concerned about her health at all, she can speak to a doctor about it (they'd be the only ones who could really tell why she's been feeling nauseous lately) [ 10-02-2012, 10:31 PM: Message edited by: Onionpie ]
Member # 97565
posted 10-03-2012 03:56 PM
Okay thank you very much for your advice. One more question though. She just yesterday told me that she has been craving for chocolates and/or sweets. Normally she doesn't like sweets that much. I know cravings are pregnancy symptoms, but can also mean deficiency in certain vitamins. However, what now has me concerned is that she says she gets the feeling of being BOTH hot and cold. She will have a warm head, but still be cold or get SLIGHT chills. She has also told me about slight "shocking" sensations she gets throughout her WHOLE body. They only last for a couple of seconds or so and mostly when she stays stationary. I know the cravings can be many things, but are the hot and cold feelings, and the "shocking" sensations a sign of pregnancy at all? I know there is no way you can give me a definitive answer as to whether she is or is not pregnant and I know she SHOULD go see her doctor, but that's out of the questions at the moment as her parents will think something is wrong and that she is pregnant. So I'm not asking if she is or isn't pregnant, I'm just asking if the above I mentioned are symptoms or not. Thank you for your time.
Member # 97565
posted 10-03-2012 04:00 PM
One more thing, I know it's possible that all of the symptoms are NOT related, but they are showing up on a lot of sites as pregnancy symptoms; ESPECIALLY the nausea, fatigue, and frequent urination, which two of those are not PMS symptoms (nausea and frequent urination). Also, she has NOT been drinking more liquids than usual, but she HAS been slightly more stressed lately due to parents. Not really able to concentrate on homework or anything for some reason, and just more attached to me that normal.
Just some extra details^ Thanks again.
Member # 3
posted 10-03-2012 04:18 PM
At the same time, if you looked up some other conditions which can also pose those symptoms, you'd find the same thing.
Once more with feeling, going by "symptoms" and focusing on them isn't sound. If and when someone thinks they may be pregnant, the ONLY sound thing they can do is to determine if they are, and to do that, they need to test. They can do that at home or via a healthcare provider. I know you have asked us to tell you not to test, but honestly, asking us not to tell you to do the most sound thing simply isn't a reasonable thing to ask of us. (As well, some of what you're asking keeps pushing limits we've set around assessments of pregnancy risks.) What we do here is to provide information and advice which we know to be the most accurate, sound and responsible, and that's it. Clearly, one or both of you cannot let go of the idea that she may be pregnant: so why NOT test to have an accurate, reliable answer? Does she not want to test? Or....?
Member # 97565
posted 10-03-2012 07:43 PM
You are correct. I DO want her to test, but she does NOT want the test. I have brought up taking a test to her on many occasions acting calmly about it and saying it would be best so we can clear our minds of it, but she is convinced that she is not pregnant, despite her constantly telling me that her parents and sister "think" she is pregnant and her constant mention of her not feeling well and having all of these symptoms.
Also, could you please elaborate more on the "As well, some of what...of pregnancy risks." I didn't quite get what you were saying there. As posters before have said, there wasn't a pregnancy risk to begin with, and I am on board with that, but when symptoms keep popping up for no apparent cause, no where near her period time, nor ovulation time, but they occur about 2 months in, which is average to when most pregnancy symptoms start up, the thought just keeps going in my head that there might be a slight chance she is pregnant. I apologize if I have tried anyone's patience here, it's just I don't have a lot of experience in this situation and I like to be prepared and get all the information I can. If you all believe I have nothing to worry about, even in the hypothetical situation I mentioned above, then I will just ignore all of these symptoms and accept that she is NOT pregnant. Is this unanimous among you all that the situations I have described above are NOT pregnancy risks, or rather, for the second, a "one in a million" chance? ***FYI: I forget to mention that the second example I mentioned above, it was in PERFECT time for her ovulation. I still don't think she would do that, but if she did, she was perfectly near her ovulation time. Thank you again for all your help and patience with me.
Member # 3
posted 10-03-2012 07:51 PM
What I was saying is that just like that piece explains, a lot of the thing often listed as pregnancy symptoms are not only symptoms of some other things, they're often simply systems of someone having a uterus and functioning reproductive system, seriously.
I do think you need to accept your girlfriend isn't pregnant. It sounds like you might want to ask her to recognize how much anxiety YOU have been having about that and perhaps take a break on giving you the play-by-play of every single thing going on with her body at a given time and her parents and sisters apparent psychic pregnancy detection skills. That is certainly more than fair to ask. I think it'd also be totally reasonable to say you'd like her to do that, OR, if she feels she wants to keep talking to you about all of this, then you really need her to take a test, because something's gotta give here. As you've already been told here, no, what you're describing does not pose pregnancy risks. I want to also add there's no "perfect" ovulation time, and someone her age even having a regular ovulation pattern at this point would be pretty unusual. That's why unplanned pregnancy rates tend to be highest (one of the reasons, anyway, but it's a biggie) in women a few years older than she is. So, unless she charts her fertility, and also has the education to know how to interpret that charting, I think it might also do you good to let go of the idea you have any sense of when she's ovulating. That just seems like one more thing to drive you batty that's probably not based in sound information in the first place.
Member # 97565
posted 10-03-2012 08:03 PM
Okay, I'm just going to focus on the part where you said I need to "accept your girlfriend isn't pregnant." If your truly believe she isn't and that all the symptoms are coincidence, I'll accept that. You certainly have much more experience on the subject than I do. Thank you for being patient with me Heather. I suppose I'll let you all know the verdict when I found out she isn't pregnant. Thank again to everyone.
Member # 3
posted 10-03-2012 08:27 PM
I'd also advise asking her to lay off with this if she won't test. After all, it's going to be awfully hard for you to let go of this if the way she's been talking around it doesn't let up, you know? And like I said, there's nothing wrong with asking for a little consideration like that.