T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 80522
posted 09-25-2011 06:06 PM
So I'm 23 years old and I've been sexually active since I was 16 and have been on oral contraceptives. I've had a steady boyfriend for the past 6 months and a back in late May one morning after sex I started spotting a little light red blood. I went to my gyno and she said that there were no infections and that it could of just been a popped ovarian cyst or disrupted blood vessels on my cervix. It stopped a couple days later.
Last week on Tuesday my boyfriend and I were having sex, maybe because it wasn't the "gentlest" night but it wasn't anything we haven't done before and nothing happened after. But we had sex and I started spotting dark brown blood off and on and we tried to have sex the next morning but it was too painful for me so we stopped. I tried to wait it out a few days, it'd stop for maybe 6 hours but then came out heavy again then stops. I finally went back to my gyno on Friday and we did a pap, STD testing, and urine testing. She said that what I have might be a "friable cervix". I was supposed to get the results back the same day online or a phone call but I didn't and now I have to wait until she's back in the office next week to get the results. I tried having sex again last night even though I was still spotting and it became uncomfortable and painful quite fast, even with the use of a water-based lubricant. I'm still spotting and of course I looked up everything online and I probably am scaring myself looking at the comments on other message boards. But I want to know if it's treatable or if it's possible for me to wait it out. My boyfriend is such a great caring person so he's being really understanding about everything. I'm just frustrated because I want to continue having sex but I don't know if it will be painful or not, if I'll start to bleed again, and when will I stop bleeding? I will follow up with my physician but I need some advice in between. Just constantly spotting and not being able to have sex I feel like my sexual confidence is going down the hole. I don't feel good about myself in the same way I used to and I want to be comfortable, healthy, happy, and sexy again. I know my boyfriend says he will wait as long as I need before I'm okay again but being with him and wanting him when I have this going on... I just feel depressed. To sum it up, can you give me information or advice about a friable cervix or anything at all? I just need a bit of peace in my mind. Thanks so much <3 [ 09-25-2011, 06:27 PM: Message edited by: kimchi ]
Member # 20094
posted 09-25-2011 11:04 PM
A friable cervix basically means that your cervix is very easily irritated, and it can happen for several different reasons. Often it's due some kind of infection, and it sounds like you're well-covered with testing for that, so it's very likely you'll be able to get treated when the lab results come back.
I know it can really suck not being able to have the kinds of sex you want to, but you really do need to hold back on sex that involves anything going into your vagina until this is all sorted out. There are sexual things you can do with your boyfriend that don't involve anything that will irritate your cervix, so you do still have those options (although it would be a good idea to double-check with your doctor about what kinds of sex you can/can't have). If it helps, I've had a similar experience and can definitely relate to being uncomfortable and unconfident in your body as a result. (One last thing? Stop looking at the comments and worst-case-scenarios on message boards. It can be so tempting, but all that usually results in is upping your stress levels, and that's definitely not helpful.)
Member # 80522
posted 09-26-2011 12:21 AM
Thanks a lot for your response Karybu~
I know I'm really stressing myself out even more looking at these message boards, I can't stop thinking but I hope I will get everything cleared up once the test results come back. Visibly my gyno said that my vagina looked fine but that still means I could have an infection, right? If it still hurts to have sex a week later I'm assuming that's a bad sign? My boyfriend and I are in a monogamous relationship and he's sworn to me he has not slept with anyone else and I do trust him, so can you get infected and have these symptoms another way? I was going over in my head how it could of happened and I know this sounds silly but my boyfriend lives in a bit of a shoddy man cave of a room. We have this towel that we use for "clean ups" after sex and his room isn't exactly the cleanest place in the world, he has wooden floors that are a bit dusty and the towel goes on the floor by the bed and it probably gathers particles and hair and one time after I used it I noticed it was resting on a dirty plate. But would my cervix be able to get infected by that? Or if there's dirt or particles on the sheets that gets stuck on his penis while we're having sex would that do anything? Again I'm overthinking it... but I've sworn off other message boards and googling it, I just need to get it off my chest.
Member # 20094
posted 09-26-2011 01:30 AM
Infections can happen for all sorts of reasons, and don't always show up with any visual symptoms. However, has your boyfriend also been tested for STIs? (Besides HPV, there is no way to test men for that yet.) Ideally, even though you're monogamous and he says he hasn't slept with anyone else, both of you should be getting screened for STIs every year. It's not clear from your posts whether you've been using condoms, but in terms of preventing infections, it's not recommended that you go without latex barriers like condoms until you've been monogamous for at least six months, and both had clear STI screenings at the end of that time.
I wouldn't really worry about how you got this until you get your test results back though, that will tell you a lot. Even without knowing what's going on here though, I'd really advise a different system for cleaning up after sex. Keeping a box of tissues on hand is better than reusing one towel without washing and what you're describing could definitely contribute to some sort of vaginal infection.
Member # 80522
posted 09-26-2011 11:46 AM
We were both tested for STIs back in May when I first spotted a little after sex and both the results came back negative. We started not using condoms before we were tested so I made sure to be screened afterwards.
Yes, box of tissues seems a lot more hygienic and practical, for some reason it just didn't exist in his room. I got my test results back this morning and everything came back negative, I called my gyno and left her a message but again I'm left waiting. On a side note if I have to come back again will I have to pay another exam fee even though they didn't find "anything wrong" but I think there still is something wrong? She didn't suggest any sort of treatments at the time as well.
Member # 3
posted 09-26-2011 11:58 AM
You know, reading through all of this, what seems most likely to be the biggest culprit to me at this point -- since it sounds like you've had possible health issues thoroughly investigated -- is the how of the sex you're having.
You say it hasn't been "the gentlest." Can you give me a better picture of what that means? And are you two also being sure that before any vaginal entry even starts, you're already very turned on in advance? using plenty of lubricant? NOT using towels on your genitals that have been on the floor? (I have no idea about fees for another exam: that's going to be about policies of your clinic/provider, so you'll want to ask them about that.)
Member # 80522
posted 09-26-2011 12:20 PM
Well we've been pretty rough, quite a bit of grinding too which I'm sure isn't always the best solution. We both get caught up in the heat of the moment too, but I've never had this kind of pain before even though we've done it like this for quite awhile.
We tried using a lot of lubricant last time, but it was still painful. It wasn't painful on the entry but when he was all the way in I felt pain further inside closer to my cervix. We use Wet Brand original lubricant, non-flavored or anything. Is there anything else that can be recommended? [ 09-26-2011, 12:25 PM: Message edited by: kimchi ]
Member # 3
posted 09-26-2011 12:26 PM
So, sounds to me like at the very least:
1) You want to give your cervix some time to get a little more resilient. I'd take a couple of weeks off from any kind of sex with vaginal entry. 2) When you resume with that, how about not being so rough? It may even be that this is more of an issue at times during your fertility cycle when the cervix is lower or more tender (or again, if you're not turned on enough, which also means a lower-hanging cervix more likely to get bumped), but I'd try a month or so of scaling things back and being less aggressive, whether that's something one or both of you are doing or asking for. And of course, do make sure you are VERY turned on well in advance of any vaginal entry.
Member # 80522
posted 09-26-2011 12:45 PM
Okay, it'll be difficult but I will definitely have to do that. Two weeks without sex but I'm expecting my period next week and I hope the bleeding will stop by then...
Thanks a lot for all your advice, at least all my results came back negative, but I just need time to give my cervix a rest.
Member # 3
posted 09-26-2011 12:52 PM
You know, those kinds of sex are just that: just some kinds of sex. Not having those kinds of sex doesn't have to mean not engaging in sex: just not those kinds, which it appears are causing you injury for the time being, so.