T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 69019
posted 07-17-2011 09:25 PM
Okay I'm going to start by saying I'm REALLY REALLY sorry I'm asking so many questions and if this doesn't go here sorry(please delete if it doesn't and Ill put it in the right category). I just feel like I really need some 'expert advice' on this issue.
I sometimes feel really great about myself and know I have something to offer or at least neutral but...a lot of the time I'm addicted to makeup. Its like I can't go outside or if I do I feel like a slob without makeup on and perfect hair and great clothing. I see girls walking around with their PJs and they look fine with themselves. I want to look that okay with me too (I know that they might not be but their at least confident enough to walk outside in their PJs). I can't even go outside without a bra on and a dress shirt+pants+makeupetc (back yard, no people there). The makeup thing is HUGE for me. If I'm outside without it I feel horrible. After putting it on I feel way better but the minute I look in a mirror...sometimes I feel worse. Like I'm putting on makeup and not even looking good. It affects my mood sometimes and upsets me because than I get super anxious and nervous around people. In addition, I'm a very calm, laid back individual (contradicts with the above but its true ^^ but I feel like I shouldn't be in order to get good job and on the path to a life where I can get a lot of money. I especially feel like this because I have this pressure that I need to make enough money fast so I can take care of my family later on. At the same time I feel like I can't because I'm not social/ fast/ intelligent enough. I'm trying to improve myself....but I don't know how. Sorry for the rant. I guess I just needed to tell someone this... ANY advice would make me feel better at this point
Member # 69019
posted 07-17-2011 10:48 PM
Im not sure how that little yellow face appeared...
Member # 36725
posted 07-18-2011 12:05 AM
(Apologies in advance) before beginning to answer I'm going to ask a question. Can you explain a little bit about your background (for instance, growing up did you live with people that were very driven(parents, etc), that expected a lot of you - themselves - or both and when you first really started noticing these types of feelings or if they've always been there.) A lot of times really working on being okay with ourselves or something about us really starts in understanding where it comes from.
Having asked that, something else to know is that a lot of times working through a problem we may have with ourselves that's very difficult to deal with many times comes with talking about the problem and working step-by-step at it. Would you be willing to consider talking with someone professional about this?
Member # 69019
posted 07-18-2011 09:14 AM
Sorry for the long reply.
^^; Yes, my mom started life in an extremely destitute family and became unhealthy at a young age. She pulled herself out of that situation with little help from others and is now living a productive life. My dad might not have a degree and such but when he really wants something he fights for it. Their not perfect and have their own problems which they don't think they need help for but their driven. Some of my cousins who live with us are very lazy but another isn't lazy yet doesn't think she can get into school and she views herself as a bit of a failure because of it. That really affected me because I never viewed her as such and I'm scared of ending up as disappointed in myself as she is in herself. Especially, at such a young age. As for expectations placed on me after they noticed that I was self motivated they didn't really push me to get better unless they saw me really slacking. Though they told me to make sure I paid attention in school ,had good morals etc. I don't feel like I was ever really pushed to do better unless I did it to (which is okay because really who else is going to push you to do better?) myself. So, fairly normal childhood. I don't know why I'm so insecure with myself, I know I'm young but I feel like just throwing in the towel at times. I'm not even sure why. Its confusing how I keep thinking I won't ever reach high levels of achievement. Often times I don't even want to get out of bed and people tell me just go out there and try but its hard to do so when I'm scared of failure and nervous around others.
Member # 69019
posted 07-18-2011 09:17 AM
Oh! The other question...no I honestly do not think I can get help for this...I have free counselors but I don't think they'll be here next year and the other one in town...well I just don't think I'd want to talk to a total stranger about this. I'm afraid they'll say something like that I'm just lazy or that its teenage hormones talking. I'm okay with telling this here because its anon.
[ 07-18-2011, 09:18 AM: Message edited by: blush ]