T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 35219
posted 09-13-2007 08:33 PM
My girlfriend wants to give me a blow job but I keep telling her that I'm not ready only because I'm afraid. What if it doesn't last long enough, do I cum in her mouth, and whatnot.
What general information can you give me, and what can I do to make it last longer?
Member # 3
posted 09-13-2007 08:39 PM
You know, there's nothing wrong with not feeling ready because you need some more time to feel comfortable being that intimate and that vulnerable with your partner.
So, if you really don't feel there yet -- at a point where it really isn't a big deal how long it lasts, for instance -- then by all means, wait. Ideally, to reduce everyone's STI risks most, we don't advise unprotected oral sex for partners who have not been practicing safer sex (that's testing, latex barrier use and monogamy) for at least six months. So, if you do it smart and do it safe, whether or not you ejaculate in her mouth is a non-issue, because it's going into a condom. If you're not going to be safe, then that's just something you can ask her how she feels about, and if she has any preferences. There's no way to make an erection last a given amount of time (and quite frankly, it's relatively safe to say that since oral sex for either partner can be enjoyable, but often a workout for a mouth, a partner is unlikely to complain when a partner doesn't last long before orgasm). It's normal for most men once any sort of driect genital stimulus starts to happen to only last a few minutes, and for younger men, it's normal to last even less. Certainly, if you and she want to make it last, you can take little breaks from oral sex in a given session, and if you feel yourself getting close, you can ask her to stop doing what she's doing that's brining you there: but you likely won't want to, and there is certainly no need to when both of you are enjoying yourselves.
Member # 22471
posted 09-13-2007 08:42 PM
For starters, it might be good to try and not worry so much about how long it takes for you to ejaculate - it's perfectly natural for young men to ejaculate more quickly, and as you get older, the time that takes will usually get a bit longer. There's not a lot that you can, or really would want to, do about that, though, so it's best to just go with it.
And if you and your partner have not been tested for STIs yet, then there really shouldn't be a question of whether you ejaculate in her mouth or not, you should be using a condom for oral sex to prevent STI transmission (and even if you have been tested, different people will want or expect different things - some partners may not mind the taste/texture/what have you of ejaculate, but other may not want ejaculate in their mouths, so it's all about asking your partner what SHE wants). If you still don't feel ready, that's perfectly okay, too, take your time until you do feel comfortable and fully prepared to begin sexual activity. We have an article on oral sex that may help you out a bit, as well: Mouthing Off on Oral Sex (ETA: Heather beat me!) [ 09-13-2007, 08:43 PM: Message edited by: dailicious ]
Member # 35184
posted 09-13-2007 08:45 PM
My boyrfriend has always asked me to perform oral sex on him. I would repeatedly tell him I was not comfortable with it. And if he cared that he would stop asking. Every once and a while he would ask again and one day I just did it without him asking. I didn't want him thinking about it. I don't consider it "official" but you know.....that basics. he told me it was very pleasurable and he said Thank You, it felt really good.
With your girlfriend, if you really are uncomfortable then tell her clearly, that no you aren't comfortable with it. Ask her before hand everything, what she expects if you cum. Some guys do, some don't.
Member # 22471
posted 09-13-2007 08:47 PM
Hantu_Gurl, this area is for Staff and Volunteer replies only, please refrain from posting here in the future.
We welcome you to post in all other areas of the board, however!