T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 101490
posted 01-12-2013 09:02 PM
Hi, I'm really sorry if this is in the wrong category and is a little too much information for some. I'm still sort of mystified by this issue myself, so I'll do my best in explaining it.
I started watching gay (male) cinema about a year ago. None of the movies I've seen have really been labeled as "Gay porn" they're all just gay movies, and some aren't even pornographic. For some reason I just loved these films. Something about gay romance was so much more moving and emotionally touching to me. And although I never consciously understood it until a few days ago, the gay sex scenes in these movies turned me on more than any other straight or lesbian sex scenes I've seen in movies. I'm really not sure if the gay movie industry is far more brazen or what. Anyways a few days ago I showed my boyfriend a clip of a movie that I thought was particularly powerful and he told me I was basically watching porn, which is when I really realized it. I guess I had grown so accustomed to seeing these nitty gritty sex scenes that I hadn't even realized how pornographic they were. So I'm sorry if this is confusing, or a petty issue. But I am a straight female with a boyfriend whom I love, why am I so attracted to gay pornographic films?
Member # 41699
posted 01-12-2013 09:25 PM
Hi confusing cantonese, welcome to scarleteen! You're definitely not alone having some sexual fantasies that might be confusing for you! What's important to think about here is that our fantasies =/= our real-life desires. Our fantasies can be very different from what we really want and desire in our sex-lives, and that includes things like watching porn that wouldn't usually fall under our sexual orientation.
We have a couple of sexpert advise questions on the main site from people who think their fantasies don't really line up with their orientations, you might find it helpful to read through them: Big Questions About Gender Identity, Sexual Orientation, and Sexual Fantasy I like gay male porn but gay men in real life freak me out I know neither of them apply exactly to your situation, but in them, Heather talks a lot about the differences between our fantasies and reality. So hopefully it helps you with thinking about all of this
Member # 90293
posted 01-12-2013 09:25 PM
HI Confusing Cantonese and welcome to Scarleteen,
I don't find this confusing at all. You're attracted to gay sex scenes and gay films in general because you find them attractive, interesting, sexy, or something else entirely. IN other words, gay films float your boat and give you enjoyment. This says nothing about you as a person, or about how you feel about your boyfriend and your relationship. Many people enjoy things in fantasy that they have no interest in doing in real life, or aren't able to do in real life. Fantasy isn't wrong, or bad, and doesn't have to mean we care for our partners any less, or that we wish things were different in our "real" lives. Most people's sexuality is a richly varied and often-growing-and-changing collection of thoughts, feelings, and experiences. How do you feel about this now? How does your boyfriend feel about it? Here are a few articles that might be helpful. http://www.scarleteen.com/article/boyfriend/looking_lusting_and_learning_a_straightforward_look_at_pornography http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/sexuality_wtf_is_it_anyway
Member # 101490
posted 01-12-2013 10:01 PM
Thank you so much, you're completely right. I guess watching these movies are just peaking my interest and excitement because they're so new and foreign.
Ahhh, I guess therein lies another problem. My boyfriend isn't showing any emotion towards me watching these movies. I guess it was only a few days ago that he realized how pornographic they are. He seemed shocked at first but then he composed himself into an apathetic sort of tone. I can't help but feel he's uncomfortable or upset that I'm watching these movies, but when I asked he said he was fine with it. But I really think he just said that to avoid the subject.
Member # 3
posted 01-13-2013 11:54 AM
So, do you want to try and talk with him about it again? Alternately, you can take him at his word and leave the ball in his court, so that if he is uncomfortable, he can come back to you and bring that up himself when he does want to talk about it.
Member # 102173
posted 01-21-2013 11:20 AM
Just know that you aren't alone! I myself prefer man on man porn (I rarely watch it anyways) myself and I saw something in a women's magazine that more and more women prefer it over straight and lesbian porn. Men turn you on...nothing wrong with that! My husband likes lesbian porn because women turn him on. And I'd rathe see two hunky men than women (cuz frankly, I find women gross...even though I am one! Lol) But don't worry, you are normal! Everyone has different things that get them going.