T O P I C R E V I E W
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 11-30-2006 12:17 PM
Hey all, I've been around for a few months and I figure, why not start one of these threads. I'm kind of at a point in my life where I feel like a lot of things are changing, and writing has always helped me sort things out, so... here we go! I just turned 18, and I'm in my freshman year at Brown University. Thinking about double-majoring in French Language and Criminal Psychology, the latter of which I would have to create myself, because there's no Criminal Psych major here... but pretty much, Brown has the attitude that "if we don't have something you want, feel free to make it yourself!" I'd probably work for the government in some capacity, hopefully moving around a lot and learning new languages, which I love - I'm also planning on picking up Chinese next year. (Est-ce qu'on peut se parler quelquefois, cool? Et, bien sur, s'il y a des autres sur ce site qui parlent cette belle langue... J'aimerais bien ameliorer mon francais, car je ne l'ai pas parle[imaginez un accent la-bas] depuis le printemps, et je m'inscriverai dans un cours de l'analyse litteraire le semestre prochaine. J'ai peur qu'il sera trop difficile!) [Desolee pour l'absence des accents - je ne sais pas comment les utiliser sur mon laptop.] I am in the swing dancing club here and I'm absolutely obsessed with it. Next year I also hope to join the Ballroom club. I do technical theatre too - primary area is lighting - and I'm a quasi-groupie for one of the all-male a cappella groups on campus, of which one of my friends is a member. (I'm also a huge grammar stickler, and will go to almost any lengths to avoid ending sentences with prepositions, no matter how awkward it makes the phrasing.) In high school, I had an amazing boyfriend, and we tried to make it work through college, but he's a year younger than I am and with the different places in life where we are, plus being so young and not having much experience, etc etc, we decided to take a break to kind of let me "discover myself". We're staying in touch, but I really have no idea if I'll end up going back to him or if I'll find that I've grown away from him. (Thanks to the awesome people here who helped me through making that decision to break it off, by the way.) I've recently also come to the conclusion that I think I'm bisexual. Not sure whether it's a what-the-hell phase, or a curious-phase, or not a phase at all, but I guess time will tell. Finals start in a week and a half - so I think that's all for my little introduction, and I'll go study for a bit. Ciao ~ Lucy [ 12-01-2006, 10:34 AM: Message edited by: LucysDiamonds ]
cool87
Member # 29292
posted 12-01-2006 10:42 PM
(Lucy, I'd be pleased to have conversationS with you in French if that can help you somehow to master it ! I'm a French native speaker by the way. Really, I'm honored you asked me that and that's really something I'd be interested in doing. But, we got to find a way to give each other e-mail adresses without using this site as a medium but I think I've got one. So I am gonna post you an e-mail now !!!!) (Lucy, je serais enchantée d'avoir des conversations en français avec toi si ça peut t'aider en quelque sorte à améliorer ton français. Ça me ferait énormément plaisir ! Le seul problème est que nous devons trouver un moyen afin que je me procure ton adresse e-mail et que tu te procure la mienne mais je crois avoir avoir trouvé un moyen !!! Donc, je t'envois dès maintenant un e-mail. À plus.) [ 12-01-2006, 10:51 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 12-03-2006 12:43 PM
I just got back from a trip to Boston with a friend of mine - we went to see The Who in concert!!! It was honestly the most amazing concert I've ever seen. The Pretenders headlined - I heard that their lead singer is close to 60, but she looks (at least from far-ish away) more like 30 or 40, and she has the most incredible body, especially for someone of her age. So they were spectacular, and then The Who... *swoon* phenomenal!! They played pretty much ALL their huge hits, five or so tracks from Tommy, plus some new stuff which was pretty cool, and they ended with just Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend singing this really sad song about the two members of the band who've passed away. They hugged at the end of it, and from the huge screens that were showing close-ups of them, you could tell they were crying. I overheard some people saying they didn't like that song very much, or that it was weird or whatever, but I thought it was so touching. Our seats were terrific too - they were balcony seats so we were way high up, literally in the third row from the very back, but we were directly in front of the stage, so it was a fantastic view. Yay!! Okay, I just felt the need to post that. So much fun. And now I have a 10-page paper to write, due Monday. I will be so happy when it's done. Ciao ~ Lucy
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 12-05-2006 09:29 AM
It's snowingggg!!! It snowed a teeny bit yesterday morning but it all melted during the day, and it snowed too early for anyone to actually see the snowfall. But I woke up this morning and looked out the window and it's SNOWING!!! Hee hee. I love New England. Also I finished my paper, 10 minutes before the deadline! There were about eight other kids from my class turning it in to the professor at the same time as I did, though, so it was good to know I'm not alone in procrastinating. I'm making an early New Year's Resolution, one that I've made most other years, but I so seriously want to accomplish it this year, and as soon as I finish posting this I'm going to go get started on it: I want to be in good shape. I'm not overweight, just a little bit flabby - my current weight is actually right smack in the middle of the "normal" BMI range - but I want to get toned. I always start and then it fizzles out. That will not happen this year!! Wish me luck! Ciao ~ Lucy
Heather
Member # 3
posted 12-05-2006 11:34 PM
Brown: kudos for you! (And itsn't it funny how invisible women over 50 are, so so many people are surprised to see women over 50 who look healthy and...well, normal? I'm with you, Chrissie Hynde is a goddess in so many ways -- their first album was one of the first my Dad ever got me when it came out -- but I've seen a lot of women her age that look great.)
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 12-06-2006 09:14 AM
(Hah - you're totally right, Heather. There's this conception in society that once women hit 50 they start, well, growing out, to use a euphemism, or becoming frail. I actually know a lot of women of that age who fell right in with that expectation, but absolutely there are lots who are still in great shape. But give me just one who has the voice that Chrissie's got. )
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 12-12-2006 10:23 PM
Okay, so I'm halfway done with my finals. I have two papers and one exam left: the exam and one of the papers are for the same class, which I find a tad bit excessive, but what can you do. Everything else has gone well so far, I think. I had a conference with one of my professors yesterday regarding the final paper, and he told me that "it doesn't matter what you write in the paper. You're getting an A in the class!" He's such a character, and so enthusiastic about his class, it's terrific. And also it's very nice to not have to worry too much about that paper - of course I'll still do a good job on it, and I'll definitely enjoy writing it because I loved that class, but getting a little pressure lifted is always a good thing. Okay, so about my ex. I said I was going to try and not call him much between Thanksgiving break and Winter Break, but that didn't really happen: I was really, really upset about the breakup, and I ended up calling him every other day or so for about a week and a half to two weeks after Thanksgiving break, and the calls were getting increasingly stressful, often ending up with me in tears and him not knowing what to say to calm me down. After one particularly emotional phone call this past Friday, I went to talk to a friend of mine here, who went through a breakup with his high school sweetheart about a month ago and has been incredibly supportive and helpful through all of this. He told me that it would probably be better if I didn't talk to my ex so much, and cited his experience with his ex - they did not call each other at all, and it made the healing process much easier. So with that in mind, and with Heather's advice in the same vein from these boards, I sent my ex an email basically saying that I need time to heal on my own, and that continually rehashing things was being awfully counterproductive for me and was only making things harder. I told him I was going to cut off communication until I return for Winter Break to allow for collection of my thoughts, and also to stave off overly emotional conversations, because it's finals week and I really, really don't need MORE stress this week. (I later sent him an email saying that I do still care about him very much, I just needed time to calm down. And I told him that I want to hear from him when he finds out whether he was accepted into his top-choice university, which he should know by the end of this week.) And the cutoff has helped me immensely. I feel so much better, so much less stressed out, and so much more in control of everything, and I think I'll be much better able to discuss the relationship over break if he feels like he needs to. Also, I've started planning out the courses I want to take for the next three years or so... eek. I don't know if it's good or bad that I'm planning this far ahead. I get home in a week and twelve hours. That will be lovely. Yay! Ciao ~ Lucy [ 12-12-2006, 10:28 PM: Message edited by: LucysDiamonds ]
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 12-19-2006 02:19 PM
I'M DONE!!! I just finished my last exam, which was much nicer than I'd expected. The allotted exam time is 3 hours, and my professor came into the room and said "So, the exam shouldn't take you more than about an hour." YAY. It was quite pleasant, very straightforward, and I think I did pretty well. In retrospect, this semester's been okay... I've done a bit of self-discovery, figured out that I really don't want to go into math and promptly dropped my math class (leaving me with only three courses this semester... Oh well. I'm taking five in the spring semester, so it'll balance out). I also bounced between groups of friends a couple times, but I think I've found the group I really like, and they seem to like me - and one of the girls wants to room with me next year, which'll be awesome, because she's terrific. So that's happy. Still not entirely sure if/when to come out to people as bi. I mean, changing "Interested in" status on Facebook is so impersonal, and I'm really not sure how some of my friends would react. I'm regretting not getting more involved in the GLBTQ community at the beginning of the year, but hopefully there'll be more chances in the future. So I have to go shopping for the few remaining people on my Christmas list (everybody's getting stuff from the Brown bookstore this year... ), do one last load of laundry (my bedsheets... yeah, I'm really bad about washing those, oops) and then finish packing, and then two friends and I are going out to dinner. Somewhere in there I might take a nap too... sleep is good. Hurrah! Ciao ~ Lucy
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 12-27-2006 04:48 PM
Okay, so my boyfriend and I decided to get back together. I was being really awful about the whole thing - I felt like I was jerking him around, since I still had feelings for him but kept trying to push him away and all. We had a talk yesterday and I realized that I really had no solid reason to end things. Taking a break, yes, that was justified, and VERY helpful in terms of letting me figure out where I am in life, and he understands that I want to be "single" when I'm at college just to keep my options open, so I guess you could say we're in an open relationship now. But we still love each other and we're still very much together. That's the big thing for me, I guess. I'm going to California in January to visit relatives - farthest west I've ever been is Arizona, so I'm really looking forward to it! OOH one other thing - I checked my grades to see if they've been posted yet, and only one of them is up, but it's an A!! So that's über-exciting. Happy holidays, y'all! Ciao ~ Lucy
Miss Lauren
Member # 25983
posted 01-05-2007 09:27 PM
I thought of you, reading this, Lucy. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/3492919.stm Awesome, eh? Looks like men on earth got more competition.
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 01-08-2007 12:35 AM
Hee hee, thanks Lauren! It's articles like these that kind of make you want to go into astronomy, huh? (By the way, where in CA are you? Because I'm in Southern California visiting my sister and ZOMG I love it!)
Miss Lauren
Member # 25983
posted 01-08-2007 12:50 AM
(I'm in Riverside. If you're around here and think it's nice environment-wise, you be nuts! )
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 01-24-2007 07:03 PM
So, I got all my grades for first semester, and I got two A's, a B (which I expected), and a fail... yeah, I knew the last one was coming, considering that I stopped going to class and doing the classwork about halfway through the term. It's a math class and I decided that it was ridiculously difficult and not worth the huge amount of effort I would've had to make to pass. My courses this semester seem good so far (only had one day of class, lol, but it went pretty well!). I'm nervous about tomorrow because I have my two hardest courses - French Lit and Linear Algebra. But I heard that the professor for Linear Algebra is actually really good and very approachable, which bodes well for success in the class. *crosses fingers* I still have to decide on two other courses to take, but the grace period for making those decisions is about two weeks, so I have time. Yay. I gained about 20 pounds last semester, and I'm not happy with it, so I'm starting a new lifestyle. I'm working out every day and eating healthier; I put a rubber band on my wrist to remind myself, and I'm going to snap it if I start slipping - kind of going for the conditioning effect. I KNOW that I can do this. I was scared at first, and I still am a little bit (what if I start gaining even more weight? what if I go on a binge? what if I become so extreme that I develop an eating disorder?) but I am sure that I have it in me to get in shape and to do it in a healthy way. My sister and I kind of had a huge falling-out when I went to visit her in CA. *sigh* I don't really want to go into it, but it's somewhat upsetting since we used to be really close. Hopefully it's just a phase and we'll become good friends again soon. Okay, off to do the first homework of the semester... Ciao ~ Lucy
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 02-04-2007 05:48 PM
I am quite happy at the moment. The classes I've decided on are: Linear Algebra, French Lit (which is really tough, but I think it's manageable), Logic, Semantics, and Intro to Computer Science. They're a lot of work, but I really enjoy all of them and I definitely think I can do this. The working out/eating healthy is starting to pay off. I could see results today for the first time - not big, but noticeable, which was wonderfully encouraging and really exactly what I needed. I've started rock climbing again, after a three-month hiatus, and while I kind of suck at the moment, I know I can get as good as I used to be again. I'm regaining my confidence! I'm also starting to consider where I want to go to study abroad. I'd been thinking of just doing a semester somewhere, but I went to an info session the other day and they said that a fair number of people actually do two semesters in two different places! So I'm now thinking of doing the spring semester of my sophomore year in Israel, and the fall semester of my senior year in India. I really wanted to go somewhere in the Far East - Taiwan or Japan, specifically - but none of the programs they had there matched up with my concentration, Psychology, so unless I can find a program that does (which is possible), I won't be going there. But now I'm starting to get really excited about going to Israel; I've wanted to go to the Middle East for AGES. The only problem is that I doubt my parents will approve strongly of it... oh well. Ciao ~ Lucy
Ecofem
Member # 13388
posted 02-04-2007 06:41 PM
Your study abroad plans sound cool! From personal experience, I'd recommend studying in one place for an entire year. It often takes that first semester just to adjust to the country and classes and make friends.
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 02-10-2007 11:04 AM
Thanks, Lena, I'll keep that in mind. I'm going to make two appointments - one with the Psych. department advisor and one with the study abroad advisors - to talk to them about everything, and we'll see where I am after that. Great news: I applied for a summer internship with the government a few months ago, and I just heard back that I got it!!! It was a really selective thing, too; only 100 spots with thousands of applicants. I am SO HAPPY! And it pays pretty decently too. Now I don't have to worry about finding a job over the summer. Last summer I worked at a rock climbing gym, and I think this summer I may work there as well, just on nights and weekends. Yay. This is such a huge relief. Okay, I just had to share that with people. Ciao ~ Lucy
Ecofem
Member # 13388
posted 02-11-2007 08:25 AM
Congrats on getting the summer internship. Lucy!! And good luck with your various study abroad meetings.
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 03-11-2007 11:37 PM
Urgh. I just broke up with my boyfriend (again). But this time I'm serious about it: I feel like I'm now comfortable enough with myself, confident enough in myself, and independent enough to be able to function on my own, even through tough times during which I used to rely on him for reassurance and affirmation. We just kept going on an emotional rollercoaster: super-highs when we were together, and then the relationship just kind of stagnated when we were apart, and I lost motivation to keep it going. I know that it's more "my fault" than his, because I just don't think that I am ready to commit to being in a relationship for the rest of my life, which is essentially the level of commitment he was willing to make. But oh well. And the intensity of all the ups and downs, the fact that the cycle of falling in and out of love kept happening (every time I went away to college I'd fall out of love, and every time I came back and saw him everything was peachy-keen and I was head-over-heels again), were signs to me that the relationship was bordering on unhealthy and not something I wanted to stay in or deal with for the next four years. Sigh.
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 03-22-2007 02:16 PM
Locks of Love was doing a drive at my school today, and even though I didn't have 10" of hair to donate (that's the minimum requirement... totally would've donated if I'd had enough), I went and got a haircut anyway because they were accepting monetary donations if your hair wasn't long enough. So I decided, why not, I'll just chop off a bunch of it, because it's time for a change. And now my hair is SHORT. Like, chin length. This is so exciting!! It's never been this short before, ever, and I really really like it. Yayyyy. Also, my life is pretty much fantastic. Everything is going well (except for a project I have to turn in tomorrow with which I'm having quite a bit of difficulty), Spring Break starts in two days, and I feel emotionally and physically healthy to an extent I haven't in almost a year. Eeeeee, short hair. Haha. I tried brushing it earlier today, and was like, "Wait... my hair stops a lot sooner than it used to..."
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 04-16-2007 08:35 PM
Been a while since I've posted. But I kind of felt like I had to after what happened today at Virginia Tech. I'm from VA, and a large part of my high school class went to VTech... so I know a lot of people there. And hearing about the shootings today shocked me right down to my core. It's still surreal for me. I've managed to get in touch with my closer friends there, and they're all okay, but some of them know people who got shot, and some of my friends who don't go to Tech know people there who got shot, and it's just like... wow, this is really hitting close to home. I'm still trying to process it, process that this is real and that somebody was actually in a state of mind that lent itself to going on a shooting spree. How could a human being do that? I honestly find myself at a loss to comprehend why something like this happened. I've had a number of people at school here come up to me, knowing that I'm from VA, and asking me if I'm okay, if everyone I know is okay, which is really a nice gesture, and I mean physically yes we are all okay, but mentally, emotionally, it's going to take a while to even begin to recover. Sigh. I just needed to get that out.
Miss Lauren
Member # 25983
posted 04-16-2007 08:57 PM
*hugs* Aww, Lucy. That must suck so badly knowing that was so close to home. I know I'd feel really unsettled and just not safe. I'm glad everyone you know is okay, and I hope they can feel safe around their community again.
Leabug
Member # 27966
posted 04-16-2007 09:05 PM
My sympathy to you and your friends, Lucy. *big hug!* School/university shootings can be so tough to deal with- there was one last year in Montreal where a cousin of mine lost several friends. If you feel like you need to talk to anyone about all this, feel free to post here (we're all here for ya), or talk to a school counsellor, okay?
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 04-16-2007 11:27 PM
Thanks, guys. It's so reassuring to know I have such a supportive community I can turn to here. I've got a couple friends at college with me who are from the same area I am, and in the same boat in terms of knowing people at Tech, so we're all kind of coming together. It's cool, in a way, because we don't usually talk a whole lot, but this tragedy was kind of a bonding incident. (Obviously, I would much rather continue hardly talking to them than require something awful like this to bring us together, but this is what we get, so...)
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 06-22-2007 08:57 PM
Mkay, so I haven't posted here in a while, buuuut... I just got off the pill (this is my first cycle without it) and yesterday I got my period!! My first actual period in nine/tenish months! It's really exciting, and rather relieving to know that my body still works. I'm hoping the rest of my body bounces back as quickly as my hormones seemed to, most specifically my chest, which grew about a cup and a half. I don't terribly mind, but a smaller bust size is more convenient for me, so hopefully they'll shrink again, haha.
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 07-30-2007 09:40 PM
After bouncing together during every school break and then apart again every time I went back to college, the boyfriend (yes, that same one I was having trouble with wayyy back when I'd just joined ST!) and I finally broke up for good. He broke up with me at the beginning of the summer, and then we got together again, more out of habit than anything else I think. Yesterday we talked and broke up, for real; we both knew that the chemistry we had last year was gone and we didn't really have anything in common anymore. At least it was mostly mutual. I was sad yesterday and a bit today, but I've gotten over it mostly by now. I expected it, I saw it coming, and even though I didn't initiate it and kind of resisted at first, deep down I know it was the right thing to do. Now, my question for you all is, this guy I work with has been flirting with me all summer, helping me through my boy problems and generally being really sweet. I went to see a movie with him tonight and afterwards he walked me to my car and kissed me. The fact that I have kissed two boys in as many days doesn't exactly bother me, but I feel like it might be socially frowned upon... it didn't feel "wrong" or "slutty" or anything, but... I don't really know what I'm looking for. Just kind of needed to get that off my chest.