T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 48736
posted 09-28-2010 04:31 PM
So, I am a freshman at college in NYC. I am originally from a surburban, sort of run-of-the-mill middle class location. I am an asia n female, and in high school, not to be stereotypical, but I was kind of an asian nerd. Not a super super geeky kind, but my schoolwork was my priority and I spent most of my high school life in front of the computer doing homework. So the point is, appearance was not really a priority of mine and certainly no guys were looking at me. I had a boyfriend, but I wasn't like a hot catch or anything, that's for sure, lol.
I've been here for about a month. Now, for the first couple of weeks I stayed pretty secluded, but as I started to venture out to explore NYC, I've been getting sleazy comments from random men. The first was a random Hispanic laborer who said "sup, pretty" as I walked by a week ago or so and I've had male strangers stare/smile at me. Now I essentially get a pass everytime I go out. for instance, I was out in Little Italy the other day and I had a middle-aged man stop his conversation mid-sentence to say "hey beautiful girl" as I walked by him and some asian dude speak to me in a foreign language that I'm pretty sure was a vulgar comment. When I just walk outside, usually I'm preoccupied in my own thoughts so I never openly react to these dudes, but I am extremely put-off by this atmosphere. I mean, sure I've cleaned myself up a little from the sweatpants-everyday attire of high school, but I'm certainly no hot babe. Also, I generally thought that Asians are not universally appealing. I'm sorry that this post sounds so narcissistic and arrogant, it's a little difficult to disclose. I assume this is the typical atmosphere of nyc, I was wondering if anyone could confirm this? I guess I don't know what to do, I'm almost afraid of going out, but at the same time I like to put my best face forward as much as the next person and I don't want to underdress to make myself less conspicuous -- I think I dress normally, not particularly sleazily or anything.
Member # 42492
posted 09-29-2010 10:56 AM
First of all, I must admit that I have never been to NYC in my life, and don't really know how people behave there. However, I will say this: Any time you have a greater percentage of people you run into, from a purely statistical point of view, you're going to run into more people who find you attractive. And I'm sure that, given that you're living in NYC, you're running into a LOT of people. I wouldn't worry so much about how you are dressing. As long as YOU are comfortable, that should be what matters. The problem with labeling a certian kind of outfit "sleezy" and another "non-sleezy" is that different people have different interpretations of this term. For example, right now, I'm wearing a regular T-shirt. If you ask one person, they might say I'm dressed very "modestly". But if you ask another, they might take issue with the fact that my arms and face are showing. However,I can definitely understand how you're uncomfortable with higher levels of attention than you're used to. Maybe you'd be more comfortable asking a friend/classmate to explore the city with you? Sometimes people feel less vulnerable when they're not alone.