T O P I C R E V I E W
Smiley64
Member # 34285
posted 07-03-2007 08:50 PM
the day after me and my boyfriend have done stuff together( making out,fingering, stuff like that) i tend to feel very angry or upset.. and i dont know why.. it's not like i'm mad at him or anyone else either. also, normally i am always excited to see him or talk to him, but the day after we have made out and whatnot, i could really care less if i contact him at all.. i dont understand it.. does anyone else have these feelings or am i just wierd? is it just hormones out of wack or something?
Gumdrop Girl
Member # 568
posted 07-03-2007 09:55 PM
Sounds like guilt. Are you sure you want to be sexually active. I mean really, really, deep-down really, really sure? From what you describe, you are obviously harboring some kind of negative feelings about sex.
Smiley64
Member # 34285
posted 07-05-2007 09:24 AM
yeah..it's wierd because it doesnt feel like guilt,but i know it is and i cant figure out why i feel so negatively, because i've thought about it alot, and i want to be more sexually active...anyways, thanks for your reply.
Heather
Member # 3
posted 07-05-2007 11:20 AM
Might be worth also looking at what your relationship is actually about. In other words, sometimes when we're in relationships that are primarily sexual -- that are much more about sex than about friendship or other aspects of intimacy and bonding -- it'd be pretty normal to feel satisfied when we've just been sexually active with that person and not feel a strong need to see them again right away or talk to them. That certainly wouldn't explain any anger or upset: for those things, I'd go back to Gumdrop's suggestions, and/or make sure you really LIKE the person you're with, and also that when you're doing those things, it's feeling mutually satisfactory to you. For instance, if he's getting off all the time and you're not, that'd certainly explain feelings of resentment. And remember: if that's the case in terms of the relationship being mostly sexual, that doesn't mean that's not okay. We're all allowed to have all different types of relationships, and not all of the sexual relationships we'll have will also be great romances or huge friendships. [ 07-05-2007, 11:22 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]
Smiley64
Member # 34285
posted 07-05-2007 09:27 PM
you see, thats just the thing.. i love him very much, but i think our relationship would be ALOT better if we werent sexually involved, because it was better before we started doing stuff like this..alot of hard feelings have come from the outcome and talking about the stuff we do together..so that is probably due to some of the angry and upset feelings. [ 07-05-2007, 09:33 PM: Message edited by: Smiley64 ]
Heather
Member # 3
posted 07-05-2007 10:43 PM
Then you probably DO need to change your relationship so that it is platonic, as feels better to you, and save sexual relationshops for those with whom it DOES feel right.