T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 36614
posted 06-18-2010 11:34 PM
hi, im new to posting in this forum.
for a long time i thought i was straight, but living with my room mate for the last three years we have become really close. i want to tell her i have feelings for her, but don't want to loose our friendship. ive never had a real relationship before so i lack the courage, and really im not so sure how to go about doing it... if i should do it at all. any advise will help, im going out of my mind.
Member # 39174
posted 06-20-2010 12:39 AM
One of the reasons many people post here (and are a little anxious generally) about telling someone they're into them, is that they're worried that their platonic, friendly relationship would suffer if the attraction isn't mutual.
While you may not know how she's feeling and thinking about you, she also doesn't know how you're feeling and thinking about her. The only way to change all that is to talk with each other. You can even just say really casually "hey, i like you and i'm interested in being more than friends, could we talk about that?". Something like that anyway:P I know it can be kinda intimidating to tell someone how you feel about them, but i think you could give it a go:) If she doesn't share your feelings, while it might hurt a bit, it doesn't need to ruin your friendship if you don't want it to. You'll have been honest and open and that's something to be valued and you'll also know where the two of you are standing with each other, which means no more guess-work. Good luck!
Member # 36614
posted 06-23-2010 12:18 AM
thanks for the advise, i told her... i don't think she feels the same, she never really said but actions speak louder then words, because the next morning she said i should move out of the room we shared. it was hard, and it definitely hurt like hell, but we are still talking and laughing like before... and really im just glad to have my best friend.
Member # 35643
posted 06-23-2010 03:35 AM
Wow, good on you. You sound really brave to have told her that
, don't know if I could do that. Glad that you're still friends too. I don't think you lack courage...good luck with getting out there and meeting some other special people!
Member # 36614
posted 06-23-2010 06:36 PM
thanks i appreciate the support, and probably really need it right now. i dont feel very courageous though.... i feel sad, and hurt, and like a complete idiot, and all of those other horrible things that go along with having someone so close to you turn you down... but we are still friends so that's a plus.
Member # 3
posted 06-23-2010 06:49 PM
I don't think we're ever idiots for feeling the things we feel and voicing them.
Alas, someone being close to us doesn't mean that they or we will have certain sets of feelings. Your friend might love you to bits and think you're amazing, but that doesn't mean she'll have romantic or sexual feelings for her, just like you might not with other friends you're close to. Of course, none of that makes it all sting any less.