T O P I C R E V I E W
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Member # 44338
posted 11-24-2009 05:43 PM
As I am realizing my sexual orientation I am looking back on my life before I had the first idea I might be a lesbian or bisexual and if I had paid enough attention I might have figured it out a little earlier. Does anyone have stories like this?
I have one. I was just remembering a dream I had, I dreamed that I had sex, at first it was this guy coming towards me, but then all of a sudden he was a girl. I think I liked the idea but I stifled it because I thought it was wrong. Anyone have stories?
Member # 35071
posted 01-04-2010 03:38 AM
I think it's very hard to look back into the past and say "these were the signs, I should've known!," because you are often so young and haven't sexually matured. I can remember looking back and reminiscing on moments that "changed the tides" for me and opened new doors. Those are very special and I'll always cherish them, but I think everyone remembers some point in their life when they might have gone, "hey, I'm a bit different than everyone, why is that?" YOu know?
Member # 43159
posted 01-05-2010 01:53 PM
I can relate-- when I first came out, after graduating from high school, I started remembering past instances when I've experienced same-sex attraction (for example, my crush on an older jazz dance teacher, and crushes on female celebrities). At the time, I didn't define those feelings as explicitly sexual (I remember writing "I swear I'm not a lesbian!" in my diary when I was eleven), but I remember feeling pretty confused and like I wasn't "normal," exactly. It can be tempting to recreate this narrative of the past where instances neatly lead to "coming out." The stories we tell about ourselves, our own lives, can be powerful. What do these past memories, stories and/or instances mean to you? What do they represent? How did you interpret them at the time, and how has that interpretation changed now that your self-identification has shifted?
Member # 3
posted 01-05-2010 02:06 PM
One thing I often notice, looking back both at myself, and also hearing the narratives of other GLB folks, is that often those childhood friendships some of us had that felt SO life-or-death, where we were SO loyal, SO attached to our friends, where being separated from them felt SO scary or awful, were either absolutely or possibly like that because those were romantic feelings we were having, not just platonic-friendship feelings.
Member # 43159
posted 01-05-2010 04:21 PM
Oh, Heather, I totally agree. When I was young, I had a best friend named Brooke that I was so, so, so attached to. We used to spend all our time together. Once, she suggested playing a game where we would bring our faces close together and quickly kiss. I loved it, but I was afraid to say so. When we both grew up and she decided to end our friendship because I wasn't "cool" enough, I was heartbroken. Looking back, it seems like more than "just" platonic friendship-feelings were at play, at least on my end...
Member # 45894
posted 02-21-2010 02:05 AM
There was this one girl I was friends with (she was a bitch... still is) and we used to kiss (on the mouth) to experiment, but just lips. No opening of mouths... Anyway. I thought nothing of it and now, thinking back, I dunno... I find it kind of weird though that I didn't think about it before..... Maybe I did and I don't remember anymore. I dunno! I wonder if she thinks about it...? I wonder if she'll use it against me somehow in the future?!?! OH NOES!!!
Member # 13388
posted 02-21-2010 02:19 AM
Hey there! It's actually very common for people to "experiment" or "explore" their sexuality while growing up by kissing or even having sex (by this I mean, manual sex, oral sex, etc.) with same-sex friends, regardless of how they identify their sexual orientation later on.
I would certainly hope she doesn't use this experience against you: she probably won't, because it's a private thing AND revealing she had done it would mean people knowing she was involved, too? Of course it's perfectly fine to make out with your friends like this but if she means it's something "bad," then she probably wouldn't talk about it it others. And also all types of people are queer, from the so-called popular cheerleader type to the shy goth girl (to borrow some stereotypes, oh my!) And let's be careful about using the term "bitch." Here are some articles you may be interested in: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/is_it_normal_for_girls_to_experiment_with_sex_together_when_theyre_not_lesbian http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/is_attraction_to_the_same_sex_really_okay
Member # 45894
posted 02-21-2010 04:02 PM