T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 38173
posted 04-26-2008 04:40 AM
This is possibly a bit strange, but I've been pondering some things lately. Because I've realised that I'm definitely pretty submissive and in to the whole BDSM thing - I like the idea of being tied up, cut and so forth.
But the thing is - I worry about the degree. Because for me, realistically I'd only want to keep it in the bedroom, not outside. Except that this is a problem, because it seems like most BDSM relationship are more intense than I can see myself doing/that I want to control it too much, to be submissive. Because I like being independent and I want to give up control on my terms as well. Is that wrong, in terms of BDSM relationships? This would be hypothetical, but there's a girl whom I'm very interested in, who is definitely a dom and I'm trying to get all this clear in my head. Because I've always had this kinky side, but I've always been a bit ashamed/unsure of it. [ 04-26-2008, 04:41 AM: Message edited by: mellisha ]
Member # 33665
posted 04-26-2008 02:10 PM
I don't think it is wrong to want to be submissive only in terms of sex and not the rest of the relationship. A lot of BDSM experts will even say that it isn't healthy to keep up those roles of dominant and submissive in the rest of the relationship and that it should be limited to sex or to certain agreed upon aspects of the relationship. Really, you have the right to structure the BDSM aspect of the relationship to exist only in the bedroom if that's what you feel most comfortable with it, and if your partner refuses that and wants to make it be in all areas of the relationship or in more areas of the relationship than you feel comfortable with, then you have the right to say that's a deal breaker.
It might help to take a look at this article, too:
Working the Kinks Out
Member # 37366
posted 04-30-2008 11:53 PM
I'm not sure if this is appropriate, but I went through that issue (as well as others) when I recently came to terms with my interest in BDSM.
It's really, really hard to find reliable information, but I found this site http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html very helpful.
Member # 40289
posted 09-20-2008 07:09 PM
When is the national Day of Silence?
I wannna orgonize to do somthing in my middle school... also how would i organize it?