T O P I C R E V I E W
ShanShan
Member # 49994
posted 06-07-2011 10:30 PM
I am pretty sure I am gay. I mean I have known since I was in sixth grade. But I still get horny from seeing straight sex. I know I will never actually want a girl, but does this happen with everybody, can gay guys be turned on by straight sex?
Starfire&Shadows
Member # 31388
posted 06-08-2011 12:20 AM
Gay and straight and bi aren't three totally separate things either, they're words we've come up with. In reality, they have fuzzy edges and blur into one another. I know quite a few friends who have one or two people they know that they'd "go gay for" but they're still mostly straight. And some gay friends that say the opposite. And also, some things that look hot to someone in porn aren't necessarily interesting to them in real life.
patrickvienna
Member # 29269
posted 06-08-2011 05:32 AM
Hi ShanShan! When you say you know you will never actually want a girl, can I ask what you mean or how you know that? Too, when you say watching straight sex (I assume you mean in porn or erotica, right?) is something that makes you horny, what is it about what you watch that makes that work for you?
ShanShan
Member # 49994
posted 06-08-2011 09:51 AM
Well, I try thinking of myself with a girl and I hold no certain attraction. In fact, it makes me feel very awkward and weird. Plus, I have tried dating a girl and it was just...weird. I don't know really, I just get horny. I don't know what it is about it.
patrickvienna
Member # 29269
posted 06-08-2011 10:41 AM
So, for example, if you're watching straight sex, are you particularly looking at men or at women on the screen? Or is it the whole stuff going on? [ 06-08-2011, 10:42 AM: Message edited by: patrickvienna ]
ShanShan
Member # 49994
posted 06-08-2011 11:55 AM
I mainly look at men, but sometimes I just seem to just be looking at the whole stuff going on.
Heather
Member # 3
posted 06-08-2011 12:19 PM
Ultimately, most experts agree that sexual media often isn't a good judge of, or reflective of, sexual orientation. It's about fantasy, and while sometimes our fantasies can be reflective of what we want or feel in real life, more often they're not. Or, they don't translate as literally as we might think. Sexual orientation is really about our real lives and real people, not representations of people or fantasies of people. So, when we're trying to suss out what our orientation is, or feel confused by what our fantasies seem to suggest with what we know about real life, it's most sound to stay centered on our feelings about others and our sexuality in real life and what we think or know we want in our real lives. (There's a whole other giant discussion to have about media in general, and the million different ways people can watch it and interpret it, mind. We can talk about that if you want, but didn't want to make a giant veer.) Make sense?
ShanShan
Member # 49994
posted 06-08-2011 06:10 PM
Yes it does. And thank you Heather and you too Patrick. You guys are great.