T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 45369
posted 01-11-2010 09:39 PM
My girlfriend and I are sexually active, and she is really worried about her looks and feels better when she looks like guy. So, I am looking for a strap on that will provide her with pleasure when she is going in me. Also that she can wear it under pants, such as: jeans, but able to feel good inside. As for the strap on, I need to find one that does not show through jeans. I want to get her one that looks more realistic but not to much, because I find dicks to be gross. I am a lesbian for a reason after all. I Love Her so much and even if she got a sex change I would stay with her. She doesn't want to go through surgery, but she rather be male than female, she says it feels better. How can I help her? I like dykes so it is easier for her to look like a guy and not bother me; However what can I do about the dildo part?
Member # 40774
posted 01-12-2010 12:07 AM
Welcome to Scarleteen, open&out.
The shopping part is outside of our scope, but a good sex toy store will be able to give you recommendations. Venus Envy or Come As You Are (in CA), and Babeland (in the US), are great resources. How else can we help? Are you asking about how you can be more supportive of your girlfriend? Would you like to talk more about how you're feeling about her gender identity?
Member # 45369
posted 01-12-2010 12:47 AM
ya a little i want her to feel happier with her self. i just want to know what might help her more
Member # 3
posted 01-12-2010 03:32 PM
Has she sought out a therapist to help her with her gender identity issues yet?
If not, but she wants (and you do, too), a good book to start with which is really empowering and helpful with this stuff, see if you two can't find a copy of Kate Bornstein's "My Gender Workbook." It's a good first step when it comes to gender identity.
Member # 3
posted 01-12-2010 03:34 PM
I also want to add that disinterest and aversion are not the same thing.
In other words, the reason most lesbian women are lesbian women is because they have sexual and emotional interest in women, but disinterest in men. Having an AVERSION (eg, finding certain body parts gross) is generally not why most women are lesbian, because NOT liking men or something about them doesn't mean liking women, just like not liking oranges doesn't mean I'll necessarily like apples. Make sense?
Member # 50934
posted 12-22-2010 07:09 PM
I kind of agree with you on the part you said that ur a lesbian and you dont like penises b/c of course, lesbians want to have sex with girls. In fact, if i was in the situation, I would tell her she she should be herself and that as long as she is happy with who she, you will be happy too.
Also I admire how you say you would date her even if she changed her sex, b/c you want her to be who she is inside. Plus, I'm guessing that she's a nice woman, and you love her for her. In my case, I (I'm talking about me) wouldn't date any guy, even if it's a man that naturally used to be a woman, b/c I dont want anything to do with a real penis. I mean, I would sleep with a woman using a dildo, as long as she's not doing it b/c she feels like she has to be a boy b/c thats not even why I use those. Oh, another suggestion. I have seen one of these dildos that have double ends. incase youre having trouble telling what I mean and what the use is, one end goes inside_that, the other end, goes on the other side. Maybe that would help you guys