T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 3327
posted 04-13-2001 10:40 PM
hi i was ownderin who here s a bisexual or lesbian. I was wondering if u could tel me the reactions u get from friends, strangers, and family. I just need to know how u deal with it and everything! tahnx for helping!
Member # 78
posted 04-14-2001 09:28 AM
The way you phrased your question leads me to think that you would like more thasn just 4 people's opinions (the number of Sexperts we have here at Scarleteen), so I am going to move this topic to GLBT Relationships.
Louise Lalonde -Scarleteen Sexpert & Volunteer du Jour
"Glad to have a friend like you,
And glad to just be me" -Carol Hall
Member # 2748
posted 04-14-2001 10:56 AM
As a dictionary definition, I am a lesbian. (Just thought I'd clarify that.)
I told my best friend and she was very happy and supportive of me. When I told another friend, she more or less knew (she has a tremendous gaydar) and wasn't too surprised.
My parents ... well ... I could have had a much better, and on the same token, much worse reaction. My dad kept asking if I was sure that I'm not just confused and that I wasn't at all attracted to boys. Other than that, he was pretty quiet. But my parents clarified that I am who I am and they'll love no matter what.
So far, all reactions have been positive. Kinda a random note ... my girlfriend now (the friend that more or less knew when I told her) and I decided to tell some people from our hockey team and they were like, "Whoa! Cool! Go you!" But then a few days later at a sleepover, she thought we were being idiotic because my g/f and I didn't wanna be all extra touchy feely and stuff in front of other people. So she thought we were being stupid and encouaged us to be very girlfriend-ish.
Member # 1514
posted 04-14-2001 09:35 PM
the on;ly people that know that im bisexual is all of you guys, my husband, and my live in friend. i havent told anyone else yet because i just havent brought myself to do it. i just admitted it to myself not long ago.
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Member # 2297
posted 04-15-2001 04:38 AM
I'm bisexual, and practically everyone I know has been very supportive. Why do you ask?
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Member # 3325
posted 04-17-2001 02:58 PM
well, i'm bisexual, but not too many ppl know b/c i myself just found out recently!
about 3 of my friends know, and some random aquaintances at school (you can't keep anything quiet in a highschool, it's impossible!) and soon i'm sure everyone at school will know! lol
anyway, 2 of my friends were very supportive, the other was kinda wierded out at first (she's very, um... non-open-minded), but she's fine now.
and some a**hole guys at school come up and ask me if i wanna have a threesome!
so i guess they're ok w/ it!
all around ppl have been kinda: ok, that's cool, so anyway, did anyone see the game last night?
i haven't told my 'rents yet, and i don't really plan to. i know my ma would be totally fine, but i just don't feel the need. if it came up, i would tell her the truth. and i think my feelings could change (i'm still maturing etc.) so i don't wanna confuse her w/ this, she has enough of my teen angst to worry about! lol
[This message has been edited by Juice (edited 04-17-2001).]
Member # 26
posted 04-17-2001 05:35 PM
I discovered a different element to my sexuality when I was about 14.. which was 5 years ago. In those 5 years, I've told only about 10 people (not including people from the internet) that I'm bisexual.
I've had mixed reaction, mostly just suprised, but only one which I would consider a negative reaction (which was an ex who thought this meant I'd be bringing home girls every other night).
My mother doesn't know, but I know she'd be cool with it. I figure I'll tell her if she ever asks.
My father found out at about the same time I did, since I was discussing it with my stepsister, and he happened to hear what I said (thin walls darnit). He's never said anything to me in person, though from what my sister says, he's cool with it, though a bit suprised.
I guess I've been pretty lucky so far in that no one has really taken it badly, or had a bad reaction which has meant I've lost them as a friend. My mates are so cool
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Member # 2610
posted 04-18-2001 02:09 AM
I am a lesbian, and every last one of my friends knows. My parents and most of the rest of my family, on the other hand...They probably have it figured out, but I can't be sure. I don't think it's a really huge thing, actually. I will tell them eventually.
My friends mostly just said, "Oh. Okay." Or "Oh, yeah, I saw that coming..." My brother said that he was glad he'd never gaybashed at school, and now he and I check out women together (but only when my parents aren't around). So that's my answer...
Member # 2769
posted 04-18-2001 01:18 PM
I'm a lesbian, and I've told most all of my friends and some of my family. I've had mixed reactions... Most everyone had been very cool and casual about it, but some other people have been kind of "iffy". I've had some people on the internet tell me they couldn't talk to me because I'm gay. My parents are totally fine with it; They couldn't care less if I spend my life with a male or female. "As long as you're happy," they say. Some friends that I have told have been really shocked and in disbelief and one of my friends still refuses to believe that I am. My Aunt thinks that I'm telling people I'm gay for attention, and she thinks that I should get therapy to "turn myself straight". So I've had MANY different reactions, but most of them have been good. I'm just glad I'm out and fre!
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Member # 3425
posted 04-18-2001 09:58 PM
I'm a bi guy, and I'm not out to a whole lot of people yet, but the people I have come out to are fine with it.
It probably helps that one is bi herself, another friend is gay, and just the fact that everyone I know is generally pretty open-minded.
The weirdest response I got was "NO! You can't be bi!" -- but that was from another friend who is rather often accused of being gay (like I was for a while) because he was quiet and didn't have much luck with girls.
He connected his situation with mine, and didn't like where that went when I came out to him But he's okay with it, too, so I'm generally happy.
Member # 1671
posted 05-01-2001 03:31 PM
ok i am bisexual. but im more 60%(boys) and 40%(girls). my best friends dont really care they still love me the same. i have a boyfriend and he dosnt care either i still the same person.....
Life sucks then you die in the meantime love yourself!
Member # 678
posted 05-01-2001 04:31 PM
Well, I'm a newly-out bi guy, (see
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum16/HTML/000117.html ). I've told a few more people since then (only came out last Thursday/Friday morning! a week ago no-one knew! which is a scary thought), and they've all been really great. (one girl I told said 'as long as you don't steal any of my b/f's I don't mind'! hehe) Plus, out of the 5 people I've told, 2 have been gay (question to lesbians here: is it ok to call lesbians gay, whcih by the dictionary they are, or just stick to lesbian, which is specifically female?) so i'm really surprised by that reaction when I've been told! Especially as the only guy I really had the confidence to tell at the moment was gay (which I didn't know b4)!! And having spoken to them, they've told me that most people are a lot more accepting than you'd think. As for my parents though, I think I'd rather stay in my dads will, so at the moment have no plans to tell them. He's very old fashioned, and my mum isn't much better. Calvin "There are now-a-days professors of philosophy, but not philosophers" (Henry David Thoreau)
Member # 2610
posted 05-02-2001 01:55 AM
Clav: It's perfectly cool to call most homosexual women gay. I actually get a little cheesed when people say 'gay', only referring to men. Gay and homosexual are kind of blanket terms...
Member # 961
posted 05-05-2001 08:19 PM
Last night I went out with my partner and a friend, and when we were walking back from a bar, and giggling about a 'sixties song called 'This Door Swings Both Ways' (it wasn't actually supposed to be about *that*. but still-- ), my friend basically came out to us. We continued giggling, and talked about sex a bit, and that was about as far as it went. Most of my friends are gay or bisexual, so I can't say I was too shocked, and I figure that so long as you feel comfortable with the people you want to come out with, and how to handle their likeliest reactions, you'll be alright.