T O P I C R E V I E W
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-04-2010 05:14 PM
I recently got something I thought was a yeast infection. I went to the doctor today and although he says its probably yeast he's doing a test for Chlamydia. I've only had one partner and he recently got tested for everything and is clean. I explained this to my doctor but he said men can't get tested for Chlamydia, and i was wonderding if that's true. Not that I don't trust my doctor I'm just unsure. Thank you.
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-04-2010 05:25 PM
That isn't true: men most certainly can be tested for Chlamydia. Sounds like you need a better sexual healthcare provider. However. Not all people who say they have been tested have been. Some misunderstand what testing entails, and some just aren't honest. As well, testing all by itself isn't safer sex: if you're not using condoms, especially with new partners, you're still taking big risks. And even condoms *reduce* the risk of STIs, but they don't make it zero. If you're sexually active, even without any symptoms, you want to get tested for all STIs around once a year, more often if you switch partners more often than that. Same goes for your partner(s). If you want to reduce your risk of STIs, to do that as well as possible, you want to be using latex barriers for any oral, vaginal and/or anal sex for at least the first six months of sexual exclusivity, and only ditch them when a) both you and that partner have new rounds of tests with negative results and b) you're both going to stay exclusive.
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-04-2010 05:34 PM
oh good thank you, like I said when my doctor told me that men couldn't be tested for Chlamydia I was confused.lol I trust that my partner is telling me the truth about being tested, but unfortunately it still worries me. I know that it can be treated, but my doctor also told me that the state I live in (Florida) if you have Chlamydia you will be contacted by the state and you have to tell them who your partner is and everyone has to get treated and tested. Do you have any knowledge of this? Honestly to me it all is so scary.
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-04-2010 06:24 PM
Okay, first up: can you switch doctors? Because to be honest, I'm not sure you have a doctor who is not TRYING to scare you. That said, in most states, STIs are indeed reported to public health agencies, but not with anyone's name. Some states with some STIs may also ask for the names of partners so they can contact them to let them know they will need treatment, too (which they will, especially if you don't want to just keep passing it back and forth), but it's not something where they will be shining a flashlight in your eyes or anything. Please do know that if it turns out you have Chlamydia, and this has been your only partner, then you will have to accept your partner either was not telling you the truth about testing, or didn't really get tested but thought he did. However, I think we should first see what your test results are before we go there, okay?
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-04-2010 07:07 PM
Okay thank you. So just to be clear though the agency wouldn't know who I am? and like my age and things like that? sorry I know I keep asking hypothetical questions, I just want to know the details about how this works if my test comes back positive.
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-04-2010 07:11 PM
Questions about your medical privacy are totally important. It's always good to ask about that. When it comes to public health reporting of STIs, what's usually done is that a code is created to identify a certain person. That will often include things like age or gender, but not personally identifying information. That would be a breach of your privacy rights assured through HIPAA laws. Like I said, different states do things differently per this kind of reporting. Here are the guidelines for STI reporting in Florida: http://www.doh.state.fl.us/Disease_ctrl/std/prevent/STD_Reporting.html
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-04-2010 07:13 PM
(For the record, I don't see anything there about partner notification. That may or may not mean your doctor was right there, but if your test does come back positive and they ask for partner names, you would be 100% within your rights to ask them to show you paperwork on their right to insist on that from you. Though again, if you do come back positive, your partner will need treatment.)
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-04-2010 07:22 PM
yes I understand that my partner will need treatment, if my test is positive. Thank you so much for all of your help! I really appreciate it!
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-04-2010 07:25 PM
You're very welcome. Just to check in: are you two using condoms now or not?
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-04-2010 07:34 PM
no, the first time we had sex I had the condoms and everything and and when the moment came I was so absorbed we didn't use one. It didn't concern me too much at the time though (which I realize now how stupid I am) because I'm on birth control and as I said he got tested recently and was clean and he's had a vasectomy, by personal choice. Never again though will I forget. like I said I feel really stupid about it.
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-04-2010 07:39 PM
How old is he? But yes, from here on out, you want to use the condoms. And with a new partner, you always want to do that for the first six months, ideally, even if someone has been or says they have been tested.
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-04-2010 07:45 PM
he's 20 and a member of the military. I'm not exactly sure why he got one to be honest.
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-04-2010 07:48 PM
I have to be really frank with you: it is HIGHLY unusual for doctors to agree to giving someone a vasectomy at that young of an age, and certainly not younger than that. I cannot begin to tell you how unlikely. And until a man is 18, it's not even lawful to provide a vasectomy. To get federal funding or insurance coverage for a vasectomy, he'd need to be 21. Being able to pay for one cash out of his pocket, given the cost, under the age of 20 would be...well, strongly unusual. I'm personally concerned that it's sounding like your boyfriend has not been honest with you. [ 02-04-2010, 07:52 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-04-2010 07:57 PM
Yeah, I understand what you're saying. I hope he's telling the truth, and to be honest I'm not really even sure how much longer I'm going to stay with him, depending on how all of this pans out. I appreciate all of your help its good to be able to talk to someone knowledgeable.
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-04-2010 08:02 PM
When did he say he had one done? How did he say he paid for it? Is he the kind of person who has $500- $1,000 handy? Often, when someone seems to have all the right answers to get something they want, it's smart to be wary and protect ourselves especially if we don't know them well or we don't know someone well who does. So, if a guy wants unprotected sex who also says he's both been recently tested AND had a vasectomy (both rare for men, but extraordinarily rare for men his age)? I'd say you both want to still stick to your guns about safer sex and condom use, but also maybe step a bit back to get to know him better. Because the chance of dishonesty about this stuff is, unfortunately, higher than honesty, especially when someone wants something. Do you want to talk to me about why you've been reconsidering staying with him? Should we talk about if it's even wise to stay any more at this point? If you want to talk more about this, I'm glad to.
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-04-2010 08:06 PM
(P.S. You could always ask him to show you his scar from said vasectomy next time you're around him. If he shows you the wrong place, it's easy to know he's fibbing.)
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-04-2010 08:10 PM
Like a year ago. I don't know how he paid for it or any of the fine details to be honest. I guess the reason I reconsider staying with him is because I love him and he was my first, but after all of this I kinda feel like I've been played.I guess I just need to step back and take a really good look at the situation.
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-04-2010 08:12 PM
Yeah, a surgeon giving a guy a vasectomy at 19 would be....well, almost unheard of. Seriously. And if it was only a year ago, he'd have a visible scar, still. It does sound like since it's pretty possible he's been dishonest here about at least one thing, maybe more, it'd be a good idea for you to step back for a bit. Maybe at least until you get those test results?
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-04-2010 08:19 PM
yes I definitely agree with you. I feel so embarrassed. My mom doesn't know I've been tested (she knows I went to the doctor for a yeast infection and that I got medication for it) or that I've had sex. I know I should tell her these things but I feel like she'd judge me too much. and I don't think my insurance pays for one of the tests I was given and I don't know if the bill will say what kind it was? But again maybe my doctor was trying to scare me with the billing information since he mentioned it while giving me the exam. lol
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-04-2010 08:22 PM
You know what? If you can find one person who hasn't fallen for BS (if that is the case here: seems way likely, but still, trying to be fair) when they fell in love during a lifetime, I'd be shocked. A rare few of us don't at least once. So, please don't be embarrassed: let's just make sure you can protect your heart and your mind as best you can now, alright? Per the tests, if you were using insurance to pay for tests, not cash, then yes, it will show up on statements. So, if you haven't been honest with your Mom, hard as it might be, it'd probably be better to do that now BEFORE she may see the bill, okay?
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-04-2010 08:24 PM
okay thank you for all of your help. I actually have to go pick up my medication but again thank you!
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-04-2010 08:24 PM
You're welcome. Take care of yourself.
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-04-2010 09:14 PM
I just have one more question since you said it would show up on the statements (now that I'm home lol). Do you know if doctors can let you pay for like one of the tests in cash? I'm going to call my doctors office tomorrow and ask,because right now I just can't handle telling my mom all of this.I'm hoping I can pay for it myself so she doesn't find out right now. She's so stressed out with work and my other siblings and I'm afraid she'll be really upset with me, not to mention how mad my dad would be...
ASargent42
Member # 28733
posted 02-04-2010 11:37 PM
You may be able to do that. Most doctors offices send in the claim to the insurance via snail mail (at least, the ones around here do), so you might still have time to ask about that. However, it may just show up on the statement as 'Lab test' or something generic like that. You could call the insurance company and ask how they would print that. Give your doctors office a call in the morning, and see if they can split up the visit for you. Good Luck!
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-05-2010 12:40 AM
okay thank you! I hope they let me. :/
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-05-2010 06:26 PM
Just wanted to check in with you, Littlelibero, and see how you were doing.
littlelibero
Member # 45466
posted 02-05-2010 09:51 PM
I'm doing better I talked to my boyfriend yesterday and although he got tested two months ago, he went to the doctor today and got retested. He said the only thing they found was a minor UTI. This doesn't exactly put my mind totally at ease 100% but I know for sure this time he got tested. I also spoke to my doctors office concerning my parents knowing about the test (since at this point I would rather them not) and they told me that usually at their office they test for Chlamydia whether your sexually active or not, so there's no reason for my mom to wonder about it. I know I should talk to my mom about it, but as I said earlier at this point I think it would just be way too stressful for her to deal with. Also the medication I've been taking has actually helped dramatically so I'm hoping that means it was just a yeast infection. Thank you for checkin in
Heather
Member # 3
posted 02-05-2010 11:11 PM
Urinary tract infections are actually rare in men, and exceptionally so in men who are under 50. As well, he would not have results from STI testing in one day: he couldn't usually get same day results for a Chlamydia test, for instance. (Heck, most people can't get an appointment with this doctor in just one day, period, so his even being able to get an appointment in so quickly is unusual for many practices.) If you want a second opinion on how quickly he could get results back, you could certainly call his doctor's office, the same way any patient would, and just ask what kinds of STI testing they do and when patients can expect results back. By all means, I respect what you feel is and isn't the best time for you to talk with your parent: you're going to be the best judge of that, obviously. But I do think, and I'm always sorry to say this to anyone, that your boyfriend seems to keep coming back with hinky story after hinky story. My best advice to you is that I think you need to really consider if this is someone you should be trusting anymore. My feeling is that he isn't. [ 02-05-2010, 11:21 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]
Ecofem
Member # 13388
posted 02-06-2010 12:53 AM
Hey, I just wanted to chime in as someone who's had experience with military health care. All the STI testing would be free; if you're active duty, you often *can* get a same-day appointment like early in the morning if you arrive in uniform for sick call but he'd probably have to tell his commanding officer, etc. so it seems unlikely. The biggie, as Heather said, is that it's going to take awhile to get results. And if an STI were to be detected, he'd be called back in (and, being the military, they can require him to do so.) [ 02-06-2010, 12:55 AM: Message edited by: Ecofem ]