T O P I C R E V I E W
Ecofem
Member # 13388
posted 02-17-2007 07:07 AM
Do you talk about sex and sexuality with friends or family-- parents, silbings, etc.? Do you share what you read on Scarleteen with others? How do you bring it up-- any tips?
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 02-17-2007 11:16 AM
I don't usually bring it up myself, but occasionally a conversation with friends will turn to some topic about sex or sexuality, and I always put my two cents in, especially if they've got misconceptions about something. A couple of them know that I frequent a sex-ed site. I try to approach it in a very frank way, not embarrassed about my knowledge or anything like that, and I think that at first that surprised them a bit, but now they're pretty used to me knowing a lot about that kind of thing.
cool87
Member # 29292
posted 02-17-2007 12:01 PM
I don't talk about sex with my parents, ever. I might benefit from it, maybe just by sharing experiences and such, but it's just not something I'm really comfortable doing. My mother and I are really not used talking about such topics. Also, a bit like Lucy, when sex slips in a conversation with friends and I hear some misconceptions, then I'll surely correct them when I am sure what they say is wrong. Also, in school, when we happen to talk about sex in class ( which happened only once to date and was just about STI protection methods mostly and was so brief), we often have a chance to expose our knowledges and ideas before we read about it. And well I did brought up methods which no one has ever heard about like dental dams. And I did demystified some myths too. It's a bit weird since they were all looking at me and asking themselves :'' Wow, how come you know all this stuff ?'' in their head. It's as if I had already done the reading before coming to the class when in fact I didn't. But, in this case, I didn't bring up Scarleteen since they didn't ask me. But, I do have some penpal friends of other countries and such which I keep in touch through chat, and they sometimes bring sex myths (given religion issues or lack of sex education) to the table in the conversation. When that happens, I often try to demystify those myths with them but given sometimes there are a panoply of basic important sex stuff they don't know about or when they don't believe me, a lot of time, I often bring up Scarleteen . It isn't hard for me to bring it up at all and that's generally really appreciated. However, I rarely bring up the sex topic myself. I shime in and correct infos when misinfos slip in a sex conversation but other than that, I usually find the time is rarely appropriate for that, well in my case. I find it difficult to just bring it up. [ 02-17-2007, 12:34 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]
smileyjoseph
Member # 29269
posted 02-17-2007 12:37 PM
On ethical/political issues, I'll often argue with my parents when they say something that's way out of line, but that aside I very rarely do any of this. If we had any form of sex ed here, and something wrong was said I'd correct it, but that kind of situation never arises. In drama once, last year when I was doing Much Ado About Nothing, the director was telling us about how important virginity was in that time. He said that virginity would be surgically checked, by checking the state of the hymen, before marriage. I mentioned at that point that that didn't actually prove anything, and a few people were quite shocked. But I certainly don't mention Scarleteen to my friends/family, because I'm not sure I'm comfortable with my friends reading my posts here, and my family (well, my mother) would freak if they heard I frequented a sex ed site. They would possibly even try to sue Heather, but of course they wouldn't get very far. I've mentioned Scarleteen a few times on alturasforums, which I post on a lot, but that's it really.
BiGoddess
Member # 23917
posted 02-19-2007 04:00 PM
I talk about sex very frequently with my mom and with my close friends. It's just something that comes up casually, I guess. Like the other day my friend was talking about how one of the people in her Bio class put photos of genitals in their presentation about clamydia, and she said it in a very scandalized way. I asked her why she felt so shocked/uncomfortable about it, and we proceeded to have a long discussion about society's attitude towards sex and sexuality. I'm never shy about putting my two cents in when it comes to misconceptions about anything sex-related. I think I might actually startle some people a little bit with how blase I am. While I don't tell my friends about Scarleteen outright (I, too, am a little uncomfortable with people I know in real life reading my posts, etc.), I absolutely share information I've found on here. Mostly I'll just bring it up like "hey, I read this article when I was bopping about on the interweb last night..." I think, generally, it's just a really great thing to be able to talk about sex and sexuality casually with my friends and family. A lot of my ability to do that probably stems from the way I was raised (I had the Sex Talk at three, and the Artificial Insemination Talk at five, and my parents have continued to provide/exchange information ever since), but I really do work to set an example by being unembarrassed by sex. Plus, you know, I do like to show off a little bit.
Faith54
Member # 27855
posted 02-19-2007 07:09 PM
I don't usually bring up sex in conversation, but I participate if it gets brought up. I rarely talk seriously about sex with my parents (it's usually fleeting things, like the price of a condom), but with my friends I do. Some of my friends have serious misinformation, which I correct. I mentioned Scarleteen a few times, but I don't advertise it (again, personal posts.)
AngelC27713
Member # 32722
posted 02-19-2007 07:45 PM
I dont talk about sex or anything in relation to that with my parents but I do talk about it with my cousins sometimes..and of course my friends and boyfriend!! I just recently told my best friend mary about how this site helped me with my current boyfriend problem!!
Surferchk07
Member # 32276
posted 02-20-2007 06:11 AM
I talk about sex all the time haha.... Im a political person so Im normally, actually daily talking about birth control, and sex education issues or some form of sexual politics. Thats the Feminist in me too though! :-P My mother and I are very open on sex too so we talk about it often which makes us have an interesting relationship and its nice to have someone to go to when you need someone to talk to about stuff like that. I link people to Scarleteen all the time, If someone has a question about something I show em scarleteen. Or mention what I've found on Scarleteen.
summergoddess
Member # 11352
posted 03-07-2007 09:13 PM
I am very openly talking about sex and related topics with friends and cousins. I was openly comfortable talking about it before I became sexually active, and still comfortable six years later of being sexually active. I don't really talk about sex with my parents. Yes, we had the talk when I was younger, and they knew about that I had sex before I got married. A few people know that I come to Scarleteen and have given them the link. I've mentioned Scarleteen on one other board.
LucysDiamonds
Member # 30315
posted 03-16-2007 11:26 AM
I had a really interesting conversation about sex with two of my (male) friends the other night. I asked them what their criteria would be for classifying a girl as "easy," and they pretty much agreed with each other that if someone sleeps with a lot of guys, that doesn't *necessarily* classify her as "easy," but if she's a huge flirt or tease, that would put her in that category. They said that if a girl was very willing to have sex, that would raise some eyebrows, because girls "don't have high sex drives." Of course I responded to this with "some of us do!" and proceeded to inform them that generalizations are just that, generalized, and don't apply to everyone: just as some girls have high sex drives, some guys have low sex drives, and it's just that society has made it a norm for girls to not want sex, so those of us who do have high libidos feel pressured to hide it or try and suppress it. I think they understood what I was saying, and I think they appreciated it. I'm not sure whether they were surprised with how easily I talk about sex. I've kind of hinted at the fact that it doesn't make me uncomfortable just by my responses to some of their comments in the past, or by correcting them if they happen to express wrong information, but we've never actually talked openly about SEX itself. It was really kind of cool. Yeah, just thought I'd share...
Selkie
Member # 33078
posted 03-16-2007 05:43 PM
I usually avoid thoes types of conversations, I just don't feel like I fit in them. From simply listening in, but not participating, the conversations are usually really disrespctful to people, and I hold that all people need to be respected, and so I don't feel like joining a conversation like that would be right. (Or it's jsut the shyness again). I don't talk too much about it to my parents either (Insane schedual, I leave home at 0600 and get home around 1730-1800). Maybe thats just an excuse, but all around I generally don't talk to people too much about that. Although this site has helped. I can actually talk without feeling too shy. ^.^ It feels good to be able to do that.
<amber>
posted 03-22-2007 09:59 AM
So I just recently lost my virginity, and i'm still bleeding, is that normal?
September
Member # 25425
posted 03-22-2007 11:34 AM
(Amber, when responding to unrelated threads with new questions, it's easy for them to go unnoticed. Next time you have a question, please start a new post to make sure you'll get our full attention.) It's relatively normal to have some bleeding when you're first starting out with intercourse, mainly because it's still a bit nerve-wrecking and you were likely too nervous to relax completely. Mind, bleeding shouldn't happen, and it won't if you're fully relaxed, aroused and using lube as needed. How long ago did you have intercourse? If we're talking a matter of hours or days, and this is just some light spotting, you have nothing to worry about. Just give yourself some time to heal up before you try again. If the bleeding is heavy and/or it's been going on for more than a couple of days, it's a good idea to call a gyn.
echomikeromeo
Member # 29978
posted 03-31-2007 05:33 PM
I have a bit of a reputation at school for being a little overly interested in sex, and public about that interest. This is funny, though, because I haven't had any experience in that regard at all. But I am very happy to talk about sexual matters, attack misconceptions and discuss sexual history, one of my favourite topics. Of all the topics teenagers are ignorant about, one of the biggest is sexuality. I like to help out where I can. I try not to bring it up with my parents, though. My dad refuses to acknowledge the possibility of his daughter being in any way related to sexuality, and my mother thinks herself to be enlightened but is still very difficult to talk to. She's very open and tolerant about homosexuality, but refuses to believe in bisexuality, for example. So... yup. In the usual pattern, open with kids but not with parents. I think it's cause my parents just don't live in my generation, at my school, in the world with people my own age. It's kind of difficult to be "with" the current issues of teenagers if you're not living in that world every day.
Bohemian
Member # 31031
posted 04-02-2007 08:32 AM
I never talk about sex/sexuality to parents or family but it does come up in conversations with friends and people at school.
Hear-Me-Roar-I-am-A-Kitty
Member # 33027
posted 04-05-2007 03:45 PM
well sometimes if i really need help i turn to my parents but im usually pretty shy about bringing it up..like i could stand silently in the room for ages before sayin like 'ehm...mum?' etc etc..where as with friends im pretty open..if they have inaccuate information then i will correct them about it if i know the real info for sure.
Ecofem
Member # 13388
posted 05-21-2007 03:37 PM
I wanted to bump up this thread for new users (and seasoned ones, too!) after reading misschrissy92's poll suggestion here . And for those of you who have already responded: Anything change per talking about sex with family/friends since you first posted? [ 05-21-2007, 03:38 PM: Message edited by: Ecofem ]
cool87
Member # 29292
posted 05-27-2007 02:54 PM
Guess I'll be the first to chime in. My answer to that would be nope. Although I do talk about it with friends sometimes (that hasn't changed), I still don't talk about it with my mother. I don't think it's something she is comfortable doing and I guess I could say the same for me. I mean, heck, I think she didn't even came to me to explain me basic menses stuff when I was around the age to get my period. She only gave me a book about it (although I have nothing against that) where there was all sorts of answers to my questions in there. I guess she didn't want to make us both uncomfortable. So, nope, we don't talk about sex at all together, as it never, never. She doesn't really know about me and my partners and all those stuff and she doesn't really ask about it either. I'm sure she got a zillion questions in her head but she's just afraid to ask. I gotta say I envy those girls out there who talk about almost everything about sex with their mother. [ 05-27-2007, 02:55 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]
Yasmin
Member # 32631
posted 06-13-2007 03:25 AM
My mom is extremely religious and the only talks about sex we ever have is about staying celibate until marriage. That's it. I, however, am NOT a virgin, and haven't been one for about a year. She, of course, doesn't know. I wish I could talk to her about these things because I don't want to hide it, but she would just freak out. I've posted here many times about my mom and about how irrational she can be. I don't want to give her a(nother) reason to kick me out. I talk about sex all the time with my friends though. We swap info, and talk about our exoeriences with our boyfriends, etc. We always try to stay informed.
abstractbubble
Member # 34351
posted 06-19-2007 03:47 PM
I have never had a "sex talk" or anything of those sorts with my parents. I'm just their little angel that would never upset or dishonour them. Instead, I talk about sexual adventures with my best friend and my boyfriend and I are very open about things to do with sex and our sex lives together. I don't really talk about it with anyone else, though.
cloudyday
Member # 34143
posted 06-28-2007 11:43 AM
i talk about it with my friends and a bit with my mum. were all pretty open about stuff as long as were responsible
Typical Young and Dumb Teenager?
Member # 37530
posted 03-30-2008 01:48 PM
I have a mother, stepfather, and biological dad. With both my stepfather and biological dad, I cant even mention sex, even if I were to be talking about a gender. I cant with my stepfather because he would kill me if he even knew I went any farther than a kiss. With my biolgical dad I cant because I only see him like 2 1/2 months out of the entire year, and so, he still sees me as a young child and never wants me grow up. Now, with my mom and friends, I can talk about sex, just not MY SEX LIFE. I cant talk with my mom about my sex life because she's going to make my boyfriend and I break up (and she will tell everyone, including his religious family!), which will make my life living hell, literally (dont forget what I said about my stepfather). With my friends, I really cant talk to them because 'his friends are my friends; my friends are his friends', and we have a group of seven girls and like five guys that we are all close with... saying anything to any of them would just make everything awkward. I also have a 3 stepsisters (one of which I NEVER see and dont care to) and a brother. I talk about sex all the time with my stepsister that is my age, but I talk about it as if I DONT know anything.. as if Im an innocent child in the world wondering what sex is.. I know she has given hand jobs before (but that is all she has ever done); she has no clue that Ive had oral/manual/dry sex. The reason I dont just tell her is because we kind of have a rocky relationship. If she gets mad or something, she may tell my parents, and the same thing applies to my other siblings (who are both younger than me). The only person that knows about my sex life, besides me, is really my boyfriend. {{Captain Obvious Strikes Again}} I dont bring up scarleteen to others because Im afraid it may spike an interest of why Im on here.. especially with my mom, who asks me if I was 'good' every time I go to my boyfriends house. :/ However, I know my stepsister is always thinking about sex, not like she wants to have it or anything, but just sex in general. So, I might introduce her to the site, but Im not sure if thats safe to do so yet or not.
queenofcarrotflowers
Member # 39159
posted 07-05-2008 07:32 PM
I do NOT talk about sex with my parents. And I so wish that I could. If I ever have kids I want so badly for us to be open about sexuality - it saddens and frustrates me so much that it's SO taboo with my parents. They think I am a virgin, and if they found out the truth, it would be baaad. *sigh* I think they expect me to wait until I'm married to do anything. They did. With most of my friends, we talk about sex in general very rarely and never about my sex life. Most of my friends think sex is scary and/or something that should happen only in really long-term relationships, or if you're skankity skank. As such it's not really a topic of conversation. Sigh again. However! I do have a few very close friends who have, shall we say, a Scarleteen frame of mind. I can talk with them about anything and everything. I am extremely grateful I have at least some outlet. And my partner and I (we date off and on, it's long distance and a long story) are tremendously open about everything, which I also love.
1stPrelude
Member # 39304
posted 07-13-2008 12:15 PM
I don't talk about sex with my parents. I don't really want to either. especially because they think i'm a virgin and wouldn't do anything like that xP (i'm just that good at laying low I guess). I was safe so I figure what they don't know won't hurt them...my mom brought it up twice. the first time I told her the truth (that I was still a virgin) and the second time I lied and told her I still was. I figure once i'm married with kids they'll just assume but my friends and I will get into it every so often. like if it's just girls and we're away form parental ears >.> i'm new on this site so i've never brought this up. and tips have not been exchanged. mostly just the normal questions.
Comic lass
Member # 37720
posted 07-25-2008 10:46 PM
i talk about sex all the time!.. and scarleteen i have also gotten all my family and friends to sign up! even if they don't post i know most of them are lurkers xP
ember
Member # 36692
posted 11-22-2008 12:17 AM
Scarleteen has made me a lot more comfortable in terms of talking about sex with my friends. However I find that because I am so much better informed about sexuality than they are, many of my opinions are just a lot more "mature"than theirs, and sometimes I feel that they can't quite understand my point of view. That said, I have found that I have been able to impart to them some valuable information, such as the concept that virginity is not necessarily defined by whether or not you had vaginal intercourse. Recently I've been directing them here when they have queries of a sexual nature.
samanthamt
Member # 41234
posted 11-29-2008 09:23 PM
Ha, weird that I found this thread. Tonight my mom and I were talking about my research paper (I'm a freshman in college) I did it on teenage pregnancy and she was like I hope you mentioned in the paper that you would never be a teenage mother. Which I didn't of course because that's stupid. I thought it was weird and told her so. So she proceeded to try to give me the sex talk over the phone. I told her that she was a little late for that. But I DO NOT enjoy talking about my sex life with my mom. I don't even like talking about it with my big sister. Of course my friends and I talk about it...its amazing how they still have so many misconceptions about sex and STIs so of course I fill them in if needed but they don't know that I've been on sex ed sites b/c I think they would think that it was weird.