T O P I C R E V I E W
cherishbaby
Member # 93909
posted 01-21-2012 10:50 AM
I feel really silly for even asking this. But I'm just kind of worried. My bf and I were hanging out last friday, and I picked him up to go to \work because his car was broken. I picked him up from his house at 9:35am-9:40, got to his work around 10am, and at 10:15am-10:20am he fingered me. BEFORE he fingered me, while we were making out, I touched his hands to make sure nothing wet was there and all I felt was a little perspiration because we had been play wrestling in the car. But I know for a fact I would have noticed if anything significantly wet or creamy or out of the ordinary was on his hands. I asked him if he had mastur*bated before I picked him up, and he said no. And I kept it in my notes on my iPhone that his penis did not even come out of his pants until AFTER he fingered me. He even told me that he wasn't going to touch my vag*ina anymore after taking down his jeans because he didn't want me to get paranoid and just enjoy it. We have never had sex and he never ejaculated near or on my vagina. But here is the part that gets scary: a few days ago after that happened, he made a joke that sometimes he jacks off before seeing me so that he doesn't finish too early when I'm giving him head (he only lasts about 45 seconds-a minute and a half. Sorry tmi). That being said, I started freaking out at what if he jacked off before seeing me that day and lied when I asked him that morning so I wouldn't get paranoid. So I asked him if he lied that day so I wouldn't get scared, and he said: "Babe, I can't promise because I don't remember. What I can promise is that I always wash my hands after. Those are the same hands I eat with. I have to wash my hands." But it just scares me, what if he didn't wash his hands? I think the reason I'm freaking out is because I'm pretty sure i was ovulating that week because I had discharge. My friends have all said my fear right now is irrational which is why I want your opinions as well. They all said to me that, assuming worst case scenario that he DID lie and actually did jack off that day (we don't actually know if he did because he doesn't remember) I can't get pregnant from that because: 1. we never had sex 2. he never actually ejaculated fresh sperm onto or even near my vagina 3. sperm would have dried up and been wiped off in the time in-between picking him up such as when he was walking out to my car from his house in -3 degree weather, when he touched doorknobs in his house to lock them on his way out, when he touched his clothes, when he hugged me and rubbed my jeans with his hands beforehand, hugged me, texted on his cell in the car, etc. 4. he isn't going to walk around with fresh wet sperm all over his hands around his house for his parents to see that there's something creamy being left on the doorknob 5. he would've washed his hands or at least wiped and it would have dried up in 30 minutes 6. and that's just not how people get pregnant even if they're ovulating. The sperm is meant to be shot up the vagina during intercourse to get past the acidic properties of the vaginal canal where they can get destroyed to meet an egg. 7. he wouldn't have mastur*bated right when I picked him up, it would have even been way before I picked him up. It's not like i texted him saying "im outside" and thats when he decides to do it. So the 30-35 minutes would have actually been longer. So im obviously worried that some may have been left under his nails after he washed or wiped or whatever. What do you guys think? Help please
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
posted 01-21-2012 11:03 AM
You can take a deep breath and relax. Sperm doesn't live outside the body for very long. It needs semen to move and to stay alive. So if there was dried semen under his nails, there would have been no live sperm in it and no way for the sperm to have traveled onto your vulva. How did your boyfriend's response when you asked him if he had lied to you make you feel? It's really important for us to be able to trust our partners. Is that something you'd like to talk about? Totally up to you. I can tell you know all this, but so you have the information should you need it, I'm giving you a few articles that relate to pregnancy risk, semen on hands, etc. [b][url=http://www.scarleteen.com/article/reproduction/misconception_mayhem_separating_pregnancy_and_pregnancy_risk_myths_from_facts]http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/the_simple_and_underrrated_art_of_washing_your_hands
cherishbaby
Member # 93909
posted 01-21-2012 11:12 AM
So you really don't think there would have been fresh sperm/semen on his hands by the time he fingered me even though he says he washed his hands (but i don't know if i actually believe that he did)? I just want to know if I can pregnant from everything that happened. I'm sorry for the response, I have recently been diagnosed with OCD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Your feedback is really appreciated.
moonlight bouncing off water
Member # 44338
posted 01-21-2012 11:23 AM
There is no risk whatsoever. (And it sounds like, from everything that you stated in your original post, that you know that). As Robin asked, do you want to discuss how his response when you asked if he had lied made you feel?
cherishbaby
Member # 93909
posted 01-21-2012 11:33 AM
It honestly made me feel unsafe when he lied. He lies about little things nowadays. Like if he received my notes I leave him on his car saying good morning or telling him to have a good day (a tradition) saying he never got them but telling me a few days later that he did. Just little lies like that. Especially now when it comes to sexual activity, it makes me extra worried wanting to take extra precautions.
moonlight bouncing off water
Member # 44338
posted 01-21-2012 11:44 AM
Have you had a conversation with him about him lying like this to you? [And it's totally valid to feel unsafe when he lies like that (or at all). He put you in a situation where you didn't know all the facts, and that's not right for him to do.]
Robin Lee
Member # 90293
posted 01-21-2012 12:05 PM
As moonlight says, there is no risk. The only way the semen can be fresh is if he had just masturbated. Sperm don't have any lifespan. So if they take a stop on his hands, and hang out for a while, getting dried and smeared, well, even without hand-washing they're dead and unable to move. As to the lying, it's perfectly valid to feel uncomfortable, even with "little" lies that persist. You want to know that you can trust your partner and expect that what he tells you is the truth.
all090092
Member # 93921
posted 01-21-2012 09:28 PM
Okay im freaking out a bit. So me and my boyfriend were messing around and he was dry humping me, i had basketball shorts on and underwear i was also on my period and had a tampon in. He had underwear on and shorts. After he got done dry humping i felt the bottom of my shorts were wet and it was precum a little bit got on my lower to middle of my thigh it was precum but could i be pregnant?