T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 39274
posted 11-16-2011 11:03 PM
I think I may have had a very early miscarriage. My most recent period was almost two weeks early. Normally i run like clockwork for the most part and if my period's off then it's late, never early. I wasn't really experiencing any stress at all in the week leading up to it. It's only been two weeks since that "period" started (it lasted about five days) and suddenly I'm bleeding again. It started out only brown for the first day and a half but now there's some fresh blood with it. The period I'm experiencing now is a little later than when my normal cycle would start but not by too much, and my stress levels after the two-week-early "period" were pretty high. There was/is a lot more fleshy uterine lining coming out than normal for my periods. However my cramping isn't as severe (normally the pain is enough to make me severely nauseous) but my lower back pain is worse than usual.
My boyfriend and I use condoms, however we recently sometimes got a terrible habit of starting and remembering twenty seconds later that the condom is still on the dresser and not on his penis. Which isn't happening anymore, thankfully. And we are both tested and clean within the last three months, when I would have becomes pregnant through the unprotected sex. (we were not together before then, so no sex) Basically, what I want to know is if I definitely miscarried but at the same time I don't want to go to a doctor about this. I'm scared that I'm right, but I'm also scared that if I'm wrong then something else could be wrong with me. I haven't said anything to my boyfriend because our relationship cannot handle this. We aren't even technically in a relationship because it's my first semester at college and he's going to deploy to Afghanistan in a few months. This is just the worst possible thing to happen right now. I told my sister and she tried to be understanding but was still very flippant about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad I'm not pregnant and I'm not upset at the loss really. I don't know how I feel about this really, but I know I don't feel good. I'm considering contacting my university's mental health center (it's free and completely confidential) but I'm not really sure if they can help me with what I'm feeling. Basically I'm just really frightened and I don't know how I should be handling this.
Member # 60279
posted 11-18-2011 01:03 AM
I think the fact pattern you describe (bleeding two weeks after your period, and again two weeks later) fits better with heavy ovulation spotting than with a miscarriage. In order for that first set of bleeding to have been a miscarriage, you'd have to have ovulated pretty close to the first day of your previous period, which is unlikely.
I admit that that would be a lot of mid-cycle spotting though, and if it's more than a one-time occurrence, I'd suggest checking with a doctor about it. And I don't love the level of pain you're describing either, so a chat with a doctor about your periods would be a really good idea. It can be very, very difficult to distinguish between a period and an early miscarriage, so I don't think even a doctor could tell you if you definitely miscarried or definitely didn't, two weeks ago. If you think the bleeding you're experiencing now is a concern, you could take a pregnancy test - the pregnancy hormone detected by tests often remains in your system for some time after a miscarriage begins - but even there, a negative test wouldn't tell you anything for absolutely certain. You sound like you're experiencing a lot of anxiety, and uncertainty about how to cope with a potential medical problem. Counselors can be very helpful in sorting through those issues. It wouldn't hurt to check the mental health center out.
Member # 39274
posted 11-22-2011 07:36 AM
that's a big relief actually, and i'm making an appointment with the gynecologist my sister goes to so that i can talk to a professional and also talk about contraceptive pill options.
I decided against going to the mental health center. there's a lot of hoops to jump through, like having to do an over the phone appointment first, and my family has raised me to be (publicly at least) very much "if you're not dying then just ignore it" so it's nearly impossible for me to actually express any feelings or issues verbally so it's going to be a waste of effort.
Member # 60279
posted 11-22-2011 10:28 AM
One of the things that therapists are trained in is helping people learn to express their feelings.
There's a lot of value in expressing feelings: it helps build emotional bonds between people, and it helps people to get things that they need and want, like help, comfort, and love. It is totally up to you what you do and what help you seek. I tend to suggest that people in college seek help a lot, because colleges make all kinds of resources easily available to students - it can be much harder to find therapy after you graduate.