This is topic Resources to help someone leave an abusive relationship? in forum Abuse & Assault at Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive).

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Posted by silat (Member # 71729) on :
I have a relative who is in abusive relationship (it's not me), + has come to the realisation that she needs to end it.

I'm giving her as much support as possible. I've shown her stuff from this website to read. This family member is actually of an older generation, so the relationship has a history of 30 years. My relative is hesitant to leave given the conflicting emotions that she feels, i.e. her partner has helped her out in the past, saved her life once, they have an 'old friend' type bond. But she does now recognise that the relationship is bad for her + abusive.

I'm encouraging her to begin thinking about practical steps for planning to end the relationship. I have had a look online using google + most advice I've found online is fairly basic + minimal. Get contacts for a shelter, have somewhere to go to, make financial arrangements etc.

I wonder if you could please recommend a good book that would go into more details about the emotional phases of planning to end such a long term + central relationship?

many thanks in advance for your help
Posted by Heather (Member # 3) on :
My very favorite book for someone in this spot is Ginny niCarthy's "Getting Free: You Can End Abuse and Take Back Your Life." It's truly excellent and really covers all the bases amazingly well for something that isn't 900 pages long. [Smile]

I also think her style is a very good fit cross-generationally.
Posted by silat (Member # 71729) on :
Thanks for that Heather! I will check it out [Smile]
Posted by silat (Member # 71729) on :
Purchased [Big Grin]
Posted by Heather (Member # 3) on :
What a lovely thing for you to do for her.

If you like, I'd also be happy to find some nearby free counseling services or shelters if you'd like to give her some in-person resources, too.

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