This is topic People can be really...really cruel. in forum Bodies at Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive).

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Posted by elizabethology (Member # 33569) on :
I can't ever recall a time in my life where I, or anyone I know, as called me pretty. I'm just..not. I don't feel like it's a low self-esteem thing. I'm comfortable in my own skin. I just look different.

Online, before people see my picture, they tend to argue it. They think I'm a pretty girl saying I'm not to get attention, which is frustrating, but it isn't the case. Today I was in a group chat with a bunch of people I've been talking with for the past few weeks..and we decided to share pics. I told them I wasn't a beauty, and sent the picture anyway.

I was shocked at the response. I'm aware I'm not 'pretty', but I didn't know people would act this way. Mean words were said, teasing, and one of the four people I was with even went so far as to block me.

All because of my appearance?

I wish it didn't bother me so much, but it really does.

I feel physically sick, like I'm going to throw up. And I can't get to bed, which is really bad considering I have to be up for work in less then four hours.

Not sure why I'm posting though. To vent? Get tips on how to avoid/stop feeling this way? Something like that...
Posted by Castaway (Member # 28219) on :
Words are only words. Ever heard of the old phrase "Sticks and stones"? It really does come quite handy whenever you feel threatened by such words.
Posted by Channy (Member # 34946) on :
First off, I'm sorry you've been treated like this. You don't deserve it, no one does.

People, teenagers in particular, can be rather cruel at times. But try not to take what they say to heart, some just get a kick out of hurting others. (Horrible, isn't it?)

There's nothing wrong with you or your appearance. And I can tell you that without even seeing your picture! Everyone has different opinions about appearance. Even with supermodels, not everyone will like how a certain one looks. What matters is how you see yourself, you probably hear that a lot, and it's true! What you think of yourself, others will begin to see you through your self-confidence.

Dont let them get under your skin, thats what they WANT. [Smile]
Posted by James the Dark (Member # 32379) on :
I've been in a similar situation, except mine was that people were, for some, unknowable reason, unabashedly and undeservedly terrified of me. For some reason I cannot comprehend, people walked fast when I came by, and always started in shock when they rounded a corner to me. Once, a girl screamed in horror and ran away.

That said, I'm also not grotesque. I've got a fairly average face. Fairly recently, I was told I'd look like Colin Farrel, if Colin bothered to bathe more frequently. You see, it's not what you look like that matters to these people; it's what they want you to feel you look like. I'm fairly sure, looking back, that there was some sort of meme floating around to ostracise me (it worked, by the way). Possibly, others are doing the same to you, and for the same damn reasons; in other words, none.

Your header summed up my position precisely. People are cruel. Many of them, at that age, wouldn't think twice about destroying somebody's sense of self image, and a few of them actively seek out the chance for such malice. To mirror the other sentiments of this board, I recommend you take a long, hard look at yourself. Look at yourself critically, without emotional bias. Look at yourself with the eye of a painter. See your features without the shame that they have hung upon them. See what you actually look like. Remember that. They can never take that away from you, nor make it any less. What is, is, and they can't change that. Only you can.

What I'm recommending probably won't be easy. It's easy for passion to rule reason, for the slings and arrows of peer cruelty to wound a noble heart. Conversely, it's hard to hold to the truth when so many seemed rooted in a convenient falsehood. In my case, I couldn't find out what I look like, because the face in the mirror, for reasons I cannot personally comprehend, is not my own. As I mentioned before, there's nothing wrong with the face, it just doesn't feel like it's mine. Take stock in what you have and what you are, before you become completely divorced of it, like I am.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but don't let words cripple you.

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