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Posted by tiff tiff (Member # 14748) on :
Here's my question to all females.

If you happened to get pregnant who would you tell first tell.
your mother or friend and why.

Posted by Milke (Member # 961) on :
The father.
After that, definitely family.

Milke, with an L, Mrs BD to you, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, WAOTA

The Earth says Hel-lo!

Posted by MarvellousPurple (Member # 8776) on :
Probably my roommates at school first--they'd probably come with me to get the test and such. I (heart) social support.

Then, the father.

Then, somehow, my parents.

got a haircut, got a silver tooth
tryin' to get myself arrested

Posted by lovelyluvella (Member # 14801) on :
Well...since I am in that fix right now. I'd tell my friends, because I know they'd support me no matter what. I have no intention of ever telling the father (I'm not sure if I am yet), and then I'd somehow tell my parents. The only reason I wouldn't go to my parents first is because I know how big of a dissapointment it would be to them!
Posted by badly_behaved_badger (Member # 7728) on :
lovelyluvella, if you aren't sure whether you are pregnant or not, take a test! You can do this from two weeks after you had intercourse. You probably knew that already, but if you are pregnant (and you know for sure) you can look at your options and decide what to do next. I'm glad you have supportive friends, and there is a pregnancy and parenting section here at Scarleteen that you might find helpful. But first things first, eh? Take the test. Good luck



Posted by celery (Member # 5594) on :
I would definetly tell my best friend first because I can tell her anything and she always supports me with anything that I do.

Then I would tell the father.

And when I got the courage (how ever long that would take!) I would tell my parents.

Posted by RumpusParable (Member # 2295) on :
my husband, because all hell would break loose, then i'd have to see a doctor about counselling & ending the pregnancy.

i'd both be unreasonably angry with him for healing from his vasectomy & also desperately needing his support.

after him, i'd probaby talk to my local friends about it... if nothing else, they'd be told because leaving the country (and getting the leave for my husband to come with) would be a little hard to miss since most of them work together...

i doubt i'd ever tell my parents at all, not really any of their business.

Posted by Shann2002 (Member # 10090) on :
The father.
Then we'd work out how to break it to our families.
Posted by pix (Member # 13496) on :
definately, the dad would find out first.
after that, i think i'd confide in my best friend, and get her and the dad to help me figure out how to break the news to my parents.
Posted by Sweetpeas0214 (Member # 15069) on :
I would tell my husband then we would decide when to tell the news to our families. Then we would tell our friends.
Posted by pinkyboo (Member # 14920) on :
The father, definetely. Then his parents, because they'd be easier than mine, but I guess I'd have to tell mine very very soon after.
Posted by Lady21 (Member # 15020) on :
I'd tell the father first, both because he has to know and because he's one of the greatest emotional supports in my life. Then I'd tell my mom and my sister, but not my dad, because he would be so disappointed. I would tell my closest girlfriends but that's it; I wouldn't want people to gossip too much.

Then I would have to figure out what to do.

Posted by logic_grrl (Member # 8067) on :
I'm going to move this over to "Pregnancy and Parenting", as I think it would fit better there .
Posted by gentlyweep (Member # 13707) on :
When I was 16 I got pregnant and I told the father and a couple of my friends. It was quite the eye opening experience...the things you learn about people. As soon as I told the father the result of my pregnacy test he lowered the boom on me. He informs me of how I couldnt take care of a child because I suffered from depression and sighed that he would just have to take custody.

My friends werent much better...they had no problem talking about something so private with anyone. They knew I was getting picked on at school so this just made things worse.

I was so stressed out at their reactions that I couldnt imagine what my parents would so I didnt tell them. I didnt get prenatal care and continued to take medications not knowing about the risk they could cause a fetus. I also took to physically abusing myself. I miscarried at the end of the first trimester. That was several years ago and I know soo much more.

I'd still tell the father first and based on what action we decided to take I would then tell friends and family.

Posted by killer_raincoat (Member # 6610) on :
i'd tell the father, and then i'd tell my sister.
it would take some courage to tell the rest of my family. best to go with someone you know isn't really going to get mad at you, or think less of you.

"Everybody thinks i'm such a horrible person, but i have the heart of a little boy. In a jar. On my desk." -Stephen King

Posted by Psychodahlia (Member # 15003) on :
I'd tell my therapist first and try and work out the rest from there...joking...but in all seriousness I would tell my best friend first because she would probably know something was up and then I'd tell the father, then some how work up the nerve to break it to my family once the father and i had time to talk


Posted by Gumdrop Girl (Member # 568) on :
definitely the father. i'd figure he had the biggest stake in all of this besides me.

Be the doctor your parents always wanted you to marry.
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Posted by Insane (Member # 7343) on :
Well, when it happened to me, the first person I called was my best friend, who promptly told me to do another test. I did another test, and called my aunt, so I could tell an 'adult'. My aunt comforted me, and told me to go to a doctor. Once I had the pregnancy confirmed with a blood test, I told the father. I didn't tell him earlier, cause I didn't want to freak him out for no reason. Then much, much, much later I told my parents, then my siblings, and then his parents, and so on.
Posted by frozendreams (Member # 7638) on :
every time i have been pregnant i have told the father first.

formerly unhappykoger

Posted by XCatFightX (Member # 14419) on :
I believe I would tell my friend first because she's always been one for good advice and I know she'd help me figure out how to present it to my parents

"I'm pure as the driven slush"-Tallulah Bankhead

Posted by Lovey (Member # 14885) on :
The father would be the first to know because he would be there with me while I took the home preg test.

After that I think that we would tell his parents first ... then some how break it to mine.

Then we would have to decide what we were going to do.

Posted by sprite (Member # 15325) on :
I would not have to tell the father, because he would be there with me to find out the results of any such test.

Then, my regular doctor.

Next, his best friend and my best friend.

After that, we would hold a meeting and tell both sets of parents together.


Posted by diggsm550 (Member # 15301) on :
i think i would tell my berst friend first because i dont want someone who will tell me "oh you are so stupid how did you do this"
i just want someon who will hug me and say rite aid has great bottle sales
Posted by molly_hellion (Member # 15028) on :
I would tell my wonderful fiance. Then the WHOLE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I really cant wait to be someones mommy!!!!)
Posted by summergoddess (Member # 11352) on :
I personally would tell the dad first (that would be Isaiah anyway)... then we would eventually tell our 'rents, and our close friends.


Posted by MiKe'sGUrL69 (Member # 15470) on :
i would say a friend because it is a lot harder to come out to your family and tell them without other moral support as well
Posted by Ladybug_dancer (Member # 8763) on :
I'd tell my sister just for support, then I'd tell my boyfriend but I wouldn't tell him that my sister knows then I'd call my dad while he calls his parents, then I'd call my other sisters while he calls his grandmother.....We'd probably just relish in the moment anyway for a while and then tell them later. Hed be pretty happy.
Posted by BiLLaBaBy017 (Member # 6514) on :
First, I would take a pregnancy test to make sure I was or not.

Then, I'd tell the father.

After that, I would tell my family

Lastly, I'd tell my best friend b/c I can tell her anything and I know she'll give me good advice on what to do.
**But just b/c she's my BFF doesn't mean she HAS to come first. It's the father, family, and then friends no matter what.


Posted by vero50 (Member # 9252) on :
I would definately tell the father of the baby first. After that I would probably tell my friends. My parents I would tell very last because instead of helping they would probably just start saying really idotic things.


Posted by a_c_munson (Member # 12477) on :
the first time i told the father then my best friend then my mom, i let her tell my dad. the second time i told my husband first then my daughter.
Posted by mem310 (Member # 15735) on :
I would definately tell the father first, and then go from there. The two of us, if everything was alright, would tell each set of parents together.


Posted by blood_vampire010903 (Member # 15837) on :
i'd either tell the father of the child or my friend first because there first reaction wouldn't be to yell and they'd comfort you and they'd help you tell your parents
Posted by mirrormirror (Member # 15879) on :
I'd tell my best friend first for emotional support, then the father, then my family...theoretically, that is.
Posted by EversBoo15 (Member # 15917) on :
I would tell my Pa becuz i feel hed jess understand betta.....latina gansta my ma would say ..(lolz)
Posted by Cassiggity (Member # 15946) on :
Well in my situation, it would be a happy occasion....
So, I'd tell my bf (who will be my husband by then) and then I'd call my mom.

My mom and I are very very close, so she would definitely be the first one I told.

Posted by barbiedoll (Member # 15614) on :
the father
cause he has a right to know first. its his isn't it.
Posted by BlackTangledHeart (Member # 15317) on :
I'd probably tell my good friend who would be supportive, then i would tell the father when i knew what i wanted to do. and i'd also probably tell my auntie who is the main person i talk to.
My parents would be the last to know i think.
Posted by vero50 (Member # 9252) on :
I would for sure tell the father of the baby first. Then I think we would tell his parents because they wouldn't go all crazy or anything. Then some how we would find a way to tell my parents.

[This message has been edited by vero50 (edited 01-14-2004).]

Posted by Bunni13 (Member # 16296) on :
I would tell the daddy first because then we could think together on how to tell the grandparents. I think we would probably fight over whose parents to tell first (since both would get upset) but we'd probably go with mine. I'm pretty confident that my parents would be nicer than his.


Posted by IceCuzImCold (Member # 13802) on :
I would tell my bestfriend Nikki first, she's the only person I really think I could trust with that information. Then I'd probably tell the father. My mom and grandparents would be the last people I'd tell.

Never spit in the wind--TRUST ME ON THIS ONE

Posted by sexy_mami (Member # 16246) on :
The daddy! He NEEDS to know right away. Then I would tell my mother probably. =]


Posted by Daydreamer24 (Member # 5578) on :
My 2 best friends, the father, and my parents. :-)
Posted by Aria51 (Member # 653) on :
My doctor.

Last time, most of my friends were there when I took the test, and the biofather told everyone in screaming tantrumy fit.

The first person I personally told was my mother. Moms and dads are a lot less scary than you think, folks. I was convinced my mother was going to be extremely angry and disown me, but she helped me out more than anyone -- even the friends who I *thought* would be my support system. You know how many of those friends I still have? One.

Next time, it'll be the biofather and my son, then we'll keep it under wraps until I'm about to start showing, and tell both sets of parents and siblings after things aren't so fragile.

Posted by plainmaryjane311 on :
Strangely, the first person I told was not my best friend, the baby's father, my mother, or any other family member. I simply called a friend.
A different approach like that I believe gave me the chance to speak those words "I am pregnant" without having to hear the shock/anger/etc... I expected others to have.
Second, I told my older sister.
Third, I told my mother.
Fourth, I told my twin sister.
And finally, I told the father who became terrified and suicidal.

Heidi A. Durst

Posted by sweetlilpiper (Member # 17012) on :
If I was pregnant, I would tell my mom and my boyfriend's family first then tell the rest of the people who does care about me. I would knew that I screw up my life if I was. Thats all I know....for now
Posted by confusedmom (Member # 15351) on :
Personally, my best friend who went with me knew first and then a few other very close friends. Then the Father, my older brother, my mom and dad(step) and then my real father. I had a really hard time with this all...I wrote my mom a note and I was in councelling at the time and asked if she read it, she hadn't and then she asked "why are you pregnant" LOL. With my realy dad, my brother, who is one of my best friends went with my and help me, supported me I suppose.
Posted by sabprincess123 (Member # 17084) on :
I would tell my baby's dad first and after that I would tell my best friends/sister & soon to be brother in law then i would eventually tell my parents/Family
Posted by 456bearbear654 (Member # 17079) on :
The first thing I would do is call my boyfriend (he's away at college). Then probably his mom first and then my mom. Parents are a great source for advice and information.
Posted by nmcowgirl87 (Member # 17353) on :
I'd deffinately tell my boyfriend first, becoust I know he'd be very supportive. Then I'd tell my mom. We're very close, so I know she'd be very worried and upset but she wouldn't yell or anything. My dad - well, that's another story.......

Ride it like you stole it!

Posted by babydoll86 (Member # 16551) on :
first i would tell my suspicion to my friends and then go and get the test and readminister it acouple times, and then go and tell the father then SOMEWAY tell our parents (not a good thing!) lol, i am in one of those predicaments at the moment where i dunno if i am or not, so we'll wait and see..
Posted by Leni (Member # 9536) on :
My sister most likely. She lives nearby.

Not that I have risk of getting pregnant right now... no boyfriend... unless it's something I can't control, which I don't want to think about

Then I'd probably tell my friend Stephany, coz she would support me when telling the father.

Then the father and my parents.


dive into shine, even a deep darkness changes into shine, because i am believing the moment

Posted by Jenni_05 (Member # 17270) on :
I'd definately tell the father of the baby but there is noway i could tell my parents or my family. my life would end and so would my boyfriends. they are very strict wen it comes sex before marriage and it would kill my mother tho find out if i ever was...... so basically i'd probaly end the pregnacy if it ever happened i know it sounds bad but i don't think i could handle a child.

Luckily i have'nt fallen pregnant as we are very careful but theres still that risk.

Posted by Pumpkin_Pie (Member # 5822) on :
The local priest, to let him know a miracle has taken place.

No, seriously, I'd probably let my girlfriend know, she'd more than likely be interested. lol

and then the rents and all my friends after a while. Just to be safe. I'd probably leave it for about three months if i could keep it in. But knowing myself I'd be shouting it from the rooftops. lol

Posted by ThirdWatchQueen31 (Member # 17285) on :
I would tell my friend first because i'm a lot closer to most of my best friends than i am my mom (unforetunately)

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^^Bush in '04^^


Posted by jessica18 (Member # 17581) on :
i would say if i had to only pick between mom and friends i would say probably either or i could tell cus i can tell my mom anything!she was the first to find out with my first when i was only 15!
Posted by iloveschnitzel (Member # 17630) on :
i'd tell the father first then my bestfriend
Posted by LittleOneUSN (Member # 17486) on :
I would probably tell the babies father first, he should along with you be able to tell everyone else about the good news.
Posted by girlly15 (Member # 21927) on :
Friend cuz i no i can always trust my bestfriend 2 keep a secret then the father then wen i work up the guts the family


Posted by BaByGrl (Member # 22014) on :
hey,i would tell the father of the baby then somehow get it to both of our parents!

~I Love Collin Always N Forever N Ever~NoOne Can Stop Us Now Baby~

Posted by poppybluefrogs (Member # 22137) on :
well i would tell the father if i thought i was pregnant then my two best friends alexander and tom cos i know all three of them would get me through it together. then if i was definately pregnant i would tell mum so she could help me figur out what to do
Posted by Mysterious Dark Angel (Member # 22271) on :
The first person I told was my closest friend then she helped me to get the strength to tell my mom who was wanna the first few to know


Posted by Shortys Angel (Member # 22439) on :
I would tell my boyfriend, cry a TON and then tell my mom..
Posted by Candi0724 (Member # 22316) on :
For the fact being, I've been through two pregnancies and I've told my parents first, I'd tell my friends first. My mom isn't the supportive type.lovelyluvella, for the record, friends aren't always the person
they appear to be. You said they'll be supportive of you. Don't be to sure of that.
I though the same thing but once my friends found out I was going to have a baby, they dropped me like a bad habit. With both of my pregnancies. I'n sayong it's going to happen to you, I'm just saying be careful.

You'll never know what you've had until you've lost it.

Posted by katherose (Member # 22441) on :
Well, first I would call the Vatican, as a miricle would have had to occur. Is that enough to qualify for sainthood?
Really, it would be my mother. Definately. Then an abortion. I might or might not tell the father of the fetus. If I thought that he might tell me to keep the fetus, or berate me for getting pregant or getting the abortion, then I would not tell him.

[This message has been edited by katherose (edited 03-12-2005).]

[This message has been edited by katherose (edited 03-12-2005).]

Posted by Candi0724 (Member # 22316) on :
For the fact being, I've been through two pregnancies and I've told my parents first, I'd tell my friends first. My mom isn't the supportive type.lovelyluvella, for the record, friends aren't always the person
they appear to be. You said they'll be supportive of you. Don't be to sure of that.
I though the same thing but once my friends found out I was going to have a baby, they dropped me like a bad habit. With both of my pregnancies. I'n sayong it's going to happen to you, I'm just saying be careful.

You'll never know what you've had until you've lost it.

Posted by poppybluefrogs (Member # 22137) on :
candi0724 it may be slightly unfair of you to tell luvlyluvella that her friends may not be what they seem. she knows them and if they are already helping her through the situation it isnt entirely fair to judge. i know i wouldnt think it fair if you told me that my best friends may not help me through my situation...
Posted by Aria51 (Member # 653) on :
It may not seem fair, but it is a good point to bring up. When I got pregnant, even the friends I'd had for years and trusted with everything kind of disappeared. I have one friend left from that point in time, and she still only really hangs out with me when my kid's not around. It's not that uncommon, either; most first-time moms find they lose their old friends, and gain new child-friendly friends instead.
Posted by crzychica0815 (Member # 22500) on :
i think i would tell my friends first,then the father,and last i would tell my parents i donno how but i would even if they kill me...


Posted by Michelle Ravel (Member # 21100) on :
Out of all these replies, I've only seen one or two who would tell their mothers first. That's too bad. I would tell my mother absolutely as soon as I could--whether I was happy with the pregnancy or not. She would be the one to help me the most if I was in trouble, and the one who would be the happiest for me if I wanted the pregnancy.

Of course, my wonderful boyfriend would also be on my "tell right away" list.

But, quite honestly--and I'm 21, folks--I wouldn't be able to wait until I got on the phone with my mom.

Posted by jillybilly (Member # 19523) on :
probably my one of my teachers
i'm really close with her and she was the first person i told when i thought i was pergnant a few years ago
Posted by amw17 (Member # 23383) on :
The first person i told was my mother, then my boyfirned and then i told my dad and brother then the rest of the family.



Posted by HumanTornado (Member # 23519) on :
It depends on the situation. I went through a pregnancy scare a little while ago and I was on awful terms with the would-be father, he would *not* have been on the top of my list. In better circumstances though, the father would definitely be the first to know.
The second to know would probably be my best friend and/or my mother - whoever I can get a hold of first. But I really wouldn't be able to wait to tell my mother. She loves kids and has been telling me for years that she can't wait for her grandchild.
Posted by tiaxmarie (Member # 16721) on :
I would definitly tell my fiance (the father) and together we would tell our parents. Before I told my parents I would tell my best friends.
Posted by hottness (Member # 23969) on :
Um..... well when I found out that I was pregnant I told the father, then we told him parents, but I haven't found a way 2 tell my parents.
Posted by hottness (Member # 23969) on :
ok well I am pregnant right now so I have already gone through all of this, but this is what I did.
I told the father (19), then we told his parents, but we haven't told mine yet.
Posted by Brite Crayon83 (Member # 23517) on :
1. my boyfriend (who would be the father).
2. my best friends from school.
3. id somehow find a way to tell my mom, even tho id be petrified. im 21, so i think it would be better than if i was 16 or something.

I wouldnt tell my all time best friend at all (which is ashame). Me and my boyfriend talked about what would happen if I was to get pregnant, and we both decided on an abortion. If I told my best friend, she would tell the world, and I dont want everyone to know, only a select few.

Posted by shawtysboo23 (Member # 23408) on :
I am holding off with sex until I am married, so if I were to get pregnant it would be with my husband. First I would tell my best friend of all time (you know who you are) and she would help me think of a clever way to tell my husband! And so of course my husband second. Then my parents and his parents. Then after all of them I would go nuts lol I would tell any and everybody! Cant wait!!! I'm only 15 right now so it'll be awhile but when it happens it'll be some fun stuff! lol

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