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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Cutting

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Author Topic: Cutting
JackieCardew
Neophyte
Member # 98830

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This isn't for me actually, but a friend. We met over the summer at a camp, and became the best of friends. After camp ended, we started communicating through Tumblr, since we live in different states and neither of us can drive yet. A week or so after camp though, I found out she has depression and used to be anorexic. Which just about broke my heart because she is one of the prettiest, sweetest girls I know. And then, a few months after that, she told me she is cutting.

Occasionally I'll see really sad posts on my dashboard from her about how depressed she is, and that she's about to pick up the razor again. And since we live so far away, all I can do is send her loving messages about how great she is, but it just keeps getting worse. We're going to see each other again in January for a weekend, but until then I don't know what to do. I can't be with her in school when everyone is a *** to her, and I can't be with her at home when her dad yells at her. I can only be on the other side of a computer screen.

I am just at a loss of what to do to help her. I've never been so depressed or hated myself so much that I'd cut, so I don't know how to comfort her and help her.

So I'm wondering, does anyone who has gone through this or knows someone who has have any tips for me on how to help my friend?

Posts: 6 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Do you know if she yet has any qualified help with any of this yet? In other words, is she getting any therapies or other treatment for the depression, eating disorder or cutting?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JackieCardew
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Member # 98830

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No, she isn't. No one in here family really knows. And from what I gather, if they did know, they'd probably be angry and tell her to stop acting childish or some such thing. Or at least her dad would. Not sure about her mom. They're separated and she always talks about how much she dreads going to her dad's house.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, all three of these things are things where someone needs professional help: you can't give her the kind of help she needs.

I'd say that right now, the very best thing you could do is simply offer to listen to her and gently make clear to her that she needs to seek out help. You might brainstorm the how of that with her, for instance, by asking about maybe talking to her Mom. If not her Mom, her family doctor, a school counselor or a teacher at school.

But she needs for someone in her in-person life to know who can direct her to qualified help.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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