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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Sadness

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Author Topic: Sadness
Member # 95378

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I have been falling in and out of sadness for the past few days. I just feel very hopless for some reason and overwhelmed and feel like I may never be happy. I tend to break out in tears at random moments and would have to go to the bathroom to calm myself down. I feel like for once in my life I wanna be able to telll myself that I am truly and honestly happy but i just cant seem to get there. Are there any suggestions on how to cross this bridge. I feel like I have nobody I can trust or talk to and I just want to be Happy. Its very lonely in my bubble. [Frown]
Posts: 13 | From: scotland | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I'm sorry you're feeling so down, helpneeded. It sounds like having someone to talk to in person might really help you - are you in school? School counsellors can often be a good starting point, if that's an option for you. I know you've said you don't have anyone to talk to; are your family and/or friends not available to talk to about the way you're feeling?

"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Peer Ambassador
Member # 95710

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I'm so sorry to hear that you're not feeling very happy. I know that it sometimes feels that we're alone, that nobody cares how we're doing, or just that we're alone in our own bubble and no one can understand us... It's a tough place to be in, but I want you to know that you're not alone. I've often felt this way - please don't feel like you have no one to talk to. We will gladlt listen to you here, and as Karybu said, an in-school counselor could be of help to you. How would you feel about writing down what's bothering you? When you have those moments when you're trying to calm yourself down, maybe try to think of something or someone that makes you happy. I hope you feel better soon - please take care of yourself.

"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

Posts: 692 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 95378

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Hello. Thanks for the replies. I'm actually in college right now. Their are counselors in my school but I just feel very awkward about having to talk to them. I would probably do it if I didn't have to be face to face. And plus I don't want people knowing that there is something bothering me. I'm used to keeping things boTtled up inside when I am outside my room and around people even though its extremely hard. I can't talk to my parents because they already worry about me enough especially my mom. I think as a mother she can sense that I tend to be alone with my thoughts and exhibit some socially awkward behaviors like not being able to keep eye contact and stuff like that but I tend to brush it off as a joke and I really dnt want her to be concerened with me in that aspect. My sisters are always in there own world and I feel that I kinda bug them cuz I'm always the one calling and stuff mainly becuz unlike them I dnt really have friends I can turn to when things are bothering me. I know people and have "friends" but none I can really trust on that level or call when I have issues. I just think to myself I and say I never have anything to look forward to, like a reason to want to get out of class early or a reason to look forward to the weekend or things like that. Most of the time life is bleh. So I reallly want to change that and give my life meaning. I'm part of clubs on campus and its fufilling for the time when I'm at meeting and stuff. But after that I'm back to bleh life. How do I give myself meaning...something to alwayss look forward to?
Posts: 13 | From: scotland | Registered: Mar 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Claire P.
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 96773

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Hi helpneeded,
Being uncomfortable with the idea of sharing your issues/thoughts face-to-face with a counselor is totally legitimate- but it sounds like you’re going through a rough time, so maybe putting up with that awkwardness for just one session with a college counselor could be worth it, to get some insight? You could even explain upfront that you are uncomfortable with the whole thing- that’s not an unusual feeling, and the counselor may be able to put you at ease. And if you decide you *definitely* don’t like it, at least you fully explored that option? OR, perhaps you'd be interested in contacting a helpline for a listening ear?

I hear you saying you want to feel like you’re “always looking forward” to something. I think a lot of that - at least, for the situations you use like leaving class early or the weekend arriving- is made of pretty concrete stuff, which means *you* might be able to change that feeling. Do you find that is how you feel when you are engaged in your campus clubs? Maybe you could organize longer-term projects that are related to your involvement in those clubs that could extend that satisifed/engaged feeling to times outside of the actual club meeting times?

At the very least/in the broadest context, I think an essential part of “looking forward” has to do with approaching goals. Sure, a “goal” could be something like “going to that college event with all the exciting posters,” BUT in order to ensure you’re looking forward to things, you can create a few personal goals that you can take steps to work towards. That way, you will not only be looking forward to an upcoming treat, but you will feel satisfaction with yourself once you get yourself there. This could be something like an exercise goal (being able to run a certain number of miles- or even just being able to stay on the treadmill without it being unbearable- for a certain number of minutes), or a creative project, or some kind of relationship you can work on via a volunteer opportunity. Or anything, really, it’s up to you- who you are and what is important and satisfying (what do you/could you take pride in?) to you.

[ 11-02-2012, 09:20 AM: Message edited by: Claire P. ]

Posts: 170 | From: Northeast USA | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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