Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Help Plz ASAP

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Help Plz ASAP
The Real Me
Activist
Member # 96324

Icon 9 posted      Profile for The Real Me     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO SOMEBODY RIGHT NOW. PLEASE CAN SOMEBODY HELP.

[ 08-12-2012, 11:16 PM: Message edited by: -TaylorWasHere- ]

--------------------
*The Real Me*

Posts: 89 | From: Georgia, USA | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
What can we do for you, Taylor?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreverbroken
Activist
Member # 96418

Icon 1 posted      Profile for foreverbroken         Edit/Delete Post 
Taylor I am ALWAYS here for you!!! [Big Grin]

--------------------
Im always abandond

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sans
Peer Ambassador
Member # 91788

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sans     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm here for you too. Please feel free to speak about what's concerning you. [Smile]

--------------------
"Sneak away, sneak away / If the fate is too sad / You are not a flower of hell / That kind of place... / Don't become lost, don't become lost... / Or you won't be able to grasp the entangled hand / The cry also has a limit...." - Naraku no Hana

Posts: 537 | From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Real Me
Activist
Member # 96324

Icon 1 posted      Profile for The Real Me     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey havent been on in a while but i have alot im struggling with. Id really like to talk too but i dont know where to even start. help.

--------------------
*The Real Me*

Posts: 89 | From: Georgia, USA | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
What would you like to start with?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Real Me
Activist
Member # 96324

Icon 1 posted      Profile for The Real Me     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well there is alot im going thru.

1. Dealing with emotional and verbal abuse
2. Drama with guys
3. Many problems in my home(Big Issue)
4. Downing myself over everthing.
-There is alot and just feel i need to talk about it.

--------------------
*The Real Me*

Posts: 89 | From: Georgia, USA | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
All of that is really overwhelming, and I'm sorry to hear you're going through all of it.

Is there any one thing that is particularly pressing for you, or is it all just piling up?

How can we help you sort this out?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Real Me
Activist
Member # 96324

Icon 1 posted      Profile for The Real Me     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
More of the problems in the house is whats getting to me more but it all is really just piling up. And really if i could just talk to somebody instead of holding it all in would help.

--------------------
*The Real Me*

Posts: 89 | From: Georgia, USA | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreverbroken
Activist
Member # 96418

Icon 1 posted      Profile for foreverbroken         Edit/Delete Post 
The Real Me. I think it will help alot if you seek in person help. I am going to be doing that real soon amd camt wait.

--------------------
Im always abandond

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Real Me
Activist
Member # 96324

Icon 1 posted      Profile for The Real Me     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ok i will be sure to look into it diamonddust. Thx.

--------------------
*The Real Me*

Posts: 89 | From: Georgia, USA | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi The Real Me,

Are these problems at home affecting your safety? I wanted to check in to see if there was anything you needed immediate help with in order to be safe.

Yes, it does sound like you do need someone to talk all this over with. We can support you with some of it, but the more resources you have, the better. Some people you can talk to about getting help are your doctor (if you have one) or a school counsellor (if you're in school).

Looking at your list above, it does look like you have a lot of big things to deal with. You mentioned drama with guys...what's going on with that?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreverbroken
Activist
Member # 96418

Icon 1 posted      Profile for foreverbroken         Edit/Delete Post 
Robin, Can I please talk to you? I am in a place idk what to do anymore. Ya i am able to give others advice and am great at doing that. I need help taking my own advice and someone to REALLY listen to ME.

--------------------
Im always abandond

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Real Me
Activist
Member # 96324

Icon 1 posted      Profile for The Real Me     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well alot. im dealing with an ex who says he still loves me but is with another girl, ive been talking to an old guy friend recently but all he seems to care about is getting in my pants, i am trying to find other guys to talk to but my mom thinks none are good enough for me when to me they are(I like this one guy right now but she wont even give him a chance.) and i just dont know what to do now.

--------------------
*The Real Me*

Posts: 89 | From: Georgia, USA | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreverbroken
Activist
Member # 96418

Icon 1 posted      Profile for foreverbroken         Edit/Delete Post 
if he wont give you a chance he is not worth the time of day. You deserve someone who respects you and is willitn to wait tell you are ready for sex. Ignore the one who is trying to get in your pants. How old are you? If he says he loves you and is with another girl say "hey, if you love me still why did you let me go and why are you with another girl?"

--------------------
Im always abandond

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Real Me
Activist
Member # 96324

Icon 1 posted      Profile for The Real Me     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Its not him who wont gimmi a chance... my mom wont give him a chance and let us talk and i really like him. idk what to do. And Im 16 years old.

--------------------
*The Real Me*

Posts: 89 | From: Georgia, USA | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jessica H.
Neophyte
Member # 96697

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Jessica H.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i've experienced problems in this kind of place before, my mum wouldn't give my boyfriend a chance and she thought he was no good for me when actually he's the nicest person i've ever met, try talking to your mom about him and bring him up in small conversations to try and get him more involved, also tell him that your mom's having problems with acceptance and then he may understand if you feel abit down sometimes. not sure if this helps but i hope it does, this is my first reply on this website so i'm just a beginner! thanks xo
Posts: 7 | From: South Yorkshire | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
hey The Real Me,

Your ex acan love you all he wants, but he is with someone else, so why he's telling you that is, well, baffling. That sounds like an entanglement worth staying far away from, though I know how nice it is to have someone say they love you. Actions do, most of the time, speak louder than words, though.

When you say you can't talk to the guy you like, do you mean that you don't get to see him at all? It's really tough to strike that balance between what our parents want for us (especially when we're still dependent on them) and what we want and feel is right for ourselves. It's especially tough for you right now because you're having a lot of different struggles with your parents.

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreverbroken
Activist
Member # 96418

Icon 1 posted      Profile for foreverbroken         Edit/Delete Post 
Robin, can i please talk to you? I really need someone to talk to. Im sorry can you please give me a chance?

--------------------
Im always abandond

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Onionpie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi diamonddust44. We ask that you not comment on other users' threads asking for the volunteers' time and focus. Other people's threads are their spaces, where the volunteers, staff and other users go to focus on the original user's questions/issues/etc. So if you have something you'd like to talk about, please make a new thread and we will see it. Thanks [Smile]

I also think that it really sounds like you're needing some support/services that just can't be provided here. You seem to really urgently need to talk to Robin, and I'm afraid that's just not how our site operates -- no volunteer is necessarily available at any given time. It sounds like you really ought to think about getting in touch with some in-person help so that you can get that instant support that you need. It's not at all wrong for you to want some urgent, immediate support or crisis counselling, I'm afraid that this is just not the place where you can get that.

[ 08-25-2012, 01:05 PM: Message edited by: Onionpie ]

Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreverbroken
Activist
Member # 96418

Icon 1 posted      Profile for foreverbroken         Edit/Delete Post 
ok well she did it on my post on "emotional abuse" then all of a sudden the attention got turned to her. How am a supposed to feel about that? Why can she do that and not me?

--------------------
Im always abandond

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreverbroken
Activist
Member # 96418

Icon 1 posted      Profile for foreverbroken         Edit/Delete Post 
and I am getting help OK. I wont come on here anymore then. I feel like once i start a thread someone posts on it and then the attention goes to them. so i feel like i am not cared about or even wanted!

--------------------
Im always abandond

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreverbroken
Activist
Member # 96418

Icon 1 posted      Profile for foreverbroken         Edit/Delete Post 
how is that fair then? I am asking this because when i had a thread she above comented and then all of a sudden the attention went from me to her even tho it was my THREAD and i commented saying hey this is my thread i need the help and still nothing.

--------------------
Im always abandond

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Onionpie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi diamonddust44. The Real Me got a reply on that thread because what she talked about was something that was a potential medical emergency, so we made a concession for that. That is an exception we would make for any user.

Furthermore, this is an organization, and we need to be able to split our attention, time, energy, and resources as equally as we possibly can between all users, and we have already discussed with you that you need to take the next step and get some good solid in-person support as that cannot be provided here. We have offered you all that we can at this site, and I'm afraid you have to be able to accept that; we can't be a social support group for you, as we are an organization, so you really can't depend on us with the kind of emotional investment that you seem to have. We are of course willing to be a support when you have in-person support, but it is simply not ethical or even possible for us as an organization to be the sole support for you.

It is also along this vein -- that we are an organization -- that we ask that users do not make complaints about specific volunteers or staff on the boards. Scarleteen operates as team, in which all decisions are made as a group, and if a user is unhappy with any of the conduct of the staff or volunteers, we ask that you please take it up via the "contact us" link.

Our responses do not come out of anything personal; they are merely the result of us all trying to balance our time and resources as an organization, and how we spread them across the site.

[ 08-25-2012, 02:22 PM: Message edited by: Onionpie ]

Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreverbroken
Activist
Member # 96418

Icon 1 posted      Profile for foreverbroken         Edit/Delete Post 
she said she was going thro the same things I was. So how does that not make mine important? Anyways what ever i will not comment on anyones. here is what i posted on a NEW thread to get help so i will post it here to. Sorry for everything OK
I know that this site can only offer so much. I totaly understand that. All tho i am getting conseling soon and am reaching out in other places as well as this. I really need some support. I feel like when i start a thread someone else comments on it then the attention goes to them. I know that every one needs attention I get that. I dont understand why i got in to trouble for asking for help on someone elses thread when she did the same thing to me and the attention went to her. I really need someone to listen and be there for me (as much as via internet and this site can) I feel lost and abandond and then i got yelled at by one of the volenteers who had no right to yell at me and needed to read and hear my side. I really feel like i am alone on being assaulted a total of like 8 times in my life along with all of the other abuse i am going thro every day. I really would like someone to listen to me for once and let me have a chance.

--------------------
Im always abandond

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey, diamonddust. I'm going to step in here.

You have 276 posts right now, posts you've made over a period of less than one month. And to those posts, you have had more replies than that, the majority of them from staff and volunteers. Presenting yourself as being ignored here, or not given a chance here is deeply inaccurate and I find it dishonest.

You had one thread, from what I can tell in reviewing them, where someone else stepped in. Volunteers addressed her there because she posted a potential medical emergency, something we have to respond to in order to do our jobs responsibly and ethically. You then invited that user to continue to talk with you so the two of you could share support.

No one has yelled at you here. In fact, no one has yelled at anyone here. You were asked to follow a protocol, and asked gently, but firmly, the firm-bit because so far, asking you to follow protocols hasn't gone all that well. Most typically requests with limits have resulted in emotional escalations on your part, and our having to take time to diffuse them.

People have been here for you and have listened to you and engaged with you as much as we can per the capacity of what we are able to do. You say you want us to do as much for you as we possibly can, but I don't think you are understanding or accepting that we already have been.

I suspect you do not feel it is enough because this simply is much less than you actually need, and some needs you are looking to get met here simply cannot be met here.

I want to add something else: back when you first started posting, you and I had a conversation in which you stated that in your life, you didn't like the fact that when you got attention, it was largely because of things that people perceied as wrong with you -- like your disability -- or which had gone wrong -- like being assaulted. If that is a dynamic you don't like, please understand that when you say things like this:

quote:
I really feel like i am alone on being assaulted a total of like 8 times in my life along with all of the other abuse i am going thro every day. I really would like someone to listen to me for once and let me have a chance.
..what you are effectively doing is enabling that very dynamic you day you do not like. We have many users (and staff) who have lived through trauma and tragedy, who have struggled or are struggling with tough stuff, too. But that doesn't change the fact that people or groups still have limits and limitations, and cannot give everyone everything they want or need. Additionally, if and when the need is so great around big trauma anyone isn't meeting those needs, the answer isn't to try and push others to serve beyond their capacity, but to recognize the level of need and seek the kind of help where you CAN be served.

A while back, I gave you a list of all the sexual assault services in Minnesota. Were you able to take the time to call a few, let them know about your history and your needs, and get referrals from them? If not, I strongly feel you need to do that now. I would even be willing to take some personal information from you and call myself on your behalf if you'd like, because I know that at least one of them can help you get more of the kinds of services you need.

But for now, we do insist you stop escalating things here, like by making accusations, overstating things, or making numerous posts when you do not get a response within minutes. It simply is not appropriate in this venue, it makes it incredibly difficult for us to serve everyone, for our community to be a sound place for everyone, and for us to get at what you need to be served well. Thank you.

[ 08-25-2012, 04:05 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreverbroken
Activist
Member # 96418

Icon 1 posted      Profile for foreverbroken         Edit/Delete Post 
Ok, I am sorry. Please dont get mad at me and please forgive me. I was wrong and i can see that now. Once again I am sorry.

--------------------
Im always abandond

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This is not an emotional issue on our part, so once again -- and really this needs to be the last time we explain this, since we've had this exchange about this already -- no one is mad.

Forgiveness also isn't really an issue here. We just need you to accept our limits and limitations, and use the site within the guidelines you agreed to when registering.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
foreverbroken
Activist
Member # 96418

Icon 1 posted      Profile for foreverbroken         Edit/Delete Post 
i do accept it. it may not seem like that tho i know. I do accept it. Its hard with my disability to know if soemone is stating a point or if they are mad at me. [Frown] I am working on it tho [Smile] I am going to get the paper work to start conselling sometime this week probaly wednesday or thursday. YAY i cant wait. The first choice of the one I wanted was available!!!

--------------------
Im always abandond

Posts: 363 | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3