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Author Topic: How Do I Get Over It?
girl10
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I recently posted about a pregnancy scare,turns out after recieving a reply it was just that...a scare NOT a risk even. Since this pregnancy "scare" I have recieved two periods like clockwork(My next one is due in about a week.) EVERYHTING is pointing to NO PREGNANCY, although I am quite positive I am not pregnant(I know you guys aren't answering pregnancy questions this month, and that's perfectly fine I was already answered a long time ago so that's not what I am asking for) there is a little voice in my head that says what if? And it seems I become anxious each time before my period is due...My mom has gotten somewhat frustrated, although she doesn't say so I can tell. So I don't want to bother her anymore about this. My boyfriend listens to me vent about my feelings since this whole thing happened, but i bring it up so often I am afraid he will get annoyed soon(even though he says he wont) So that's why I have come here. Ha. Why can't I overcome this anxiety? Is this normal? I can't even enjoy my summer because this is ALL I can think about. I am AFRAID of going out and having fun, I even get tense when talking to family members. I feel as though I have failed everyone(even though I am not pregnant). I am so dissapointed in myself. I just don't feel like myself anymore... [Frown]
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BrightStar171
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Well, I went back to earlier post to see what your original scare was- it sounds like it was a situation where he touched his penis and then later touched your vulva, which, as the other folks here told you and you seem to understand, is not a pregnancy risk. You said in your very first post that you thought you were ready but now know that you weren't, and I think that that's probably a big part of what's going on here. When we have types of sex that we're not ready for, it's fairly common to experience anxiety, even irrational anxiety, about pregnancy.

That said, it sounds like the level of anxiety you're experiencing is pretty high, and is interfering with your life. Whenever anxiety, about anything, seems to take over your life, or seems to be all you can think about, or feels like it's preventing you from enjoying yourself, that's pretty much when you know it's time to talk to a doctor about it. You could talk to a therapist if you know one, or even to your primary care doctor. There are a lot of techniques a good therapist can teach you to help you manage anxiety and keep it from taking over your life--and you now also know not to have the types of sex that cause you anxiety like that for the time being.

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Robin Lee
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I agree with Bright Star that you may well be feeling anxious from doing something you really weren't ready for. This kind of anxiety can arise from doing anything one just isn't ready for, not just sex.

Are you comfortable with the kinds of sexual activity you and your boyfriend are engaging in now?

Are there other things in your life that you're worrying about?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
girl10
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Bright Star I talked to my mother about therapy(I went years ago as my dad was a physical abuser) I asked her about therapy recently and as of right now her answer is no. As for speaking to a primary doctor I feel uncomfortable but I may try doing just that. He is the same doctor that delivered me and it just seems a bit awkward. ha And as of right now Robin Lee my boyfriend and I are not engaged in any sexual activities for two reasons 1) he is gone for quite sometime, and 2) We talked about it and we have agreed to postpone all sexual activity(besides kissing) until I am EXTREMELY ready. So Yes I am very comfortable with our recent decision. And I always worry. I am a perfectionist...I hate to fail. I am scared to dissapoint my family. Out of my siblings I am the one who is always at the top of everything I do, I am athletic, I am involved in tonnnsss of clubs, so I am constantly tyring to make sure I exceed my expectations. Although we are on summer break this "scare" has caused to me to think the following: what if I can't play sports? what if all my goals become impossible?? Also, I think not having my boyfriend around has stressed me out. We don't get to spend a lot of time together even when he is at home buuutt just knowing that he is a drive away was always comforting. we were bestfriends before an actual relationship took place. although he is still there to comfort me over the phone it's just not the same. it's always easier when your best friend is always right beside you, you know what I mean? I actually went out tonight for the first time this summer, the only slight downfall of the night is that I saw a pregnant girl...haha at first, right when I first had the scare I would go straight into severe panic mode, I still panic now but I have become a bit more relaxed. Is it normal to seem to notice more pregnant women or like baby related things after being scared? I even twinge when anyone mentions the word pregnant, and the crazy thing is that I keep my ear out for it!!! ha
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olemgirlygirl
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I have those scares all the time! When I see a pregnant girl I always get so scared and think in a couple of months that would will be me. Even though I have been told numerous times I don't have a risk but I am still really scared. Like I said the fact that you have had 2 periods is truly enough to say you are not pregnant and since it has been two months by now you would defiantly have pregnancy symptoms by now if you were pregnant.
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girl10
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Those scares are the worst!!! And I know it is extremely obvious I am not pregnant but like you I still remained scared. Ha Although BOTH us had not had a risk, I think we have in a way scared ourselves into believing we might be. My mom always says: "The mind is a powerfulthing." And after rereading the posts between the two of us, it has really made me believe that. Without intentially meaning to we are scaring ourselves.

I will say though that this "scare" has really made me realize that I am not ready. Also it has made me much more educated when it comes to sexual activities.

I really wish someone would invent a pill though that would cease all worries in a heartbeat. Ha maybe I'll invent one:)

The crazy thing is though no one else can convince us that we are okay, we have to convince ourselves. I thank you for replying though and reasurring me:) It does always help when others tell you, you are okay. I know it will take awhile for both us to actually believe eachother, as well as the others who have guaranteed us that what we did was not a pregnancy. But it will all turn ok:) I honestly feel as though I can promise you that you are okay: )

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girl10
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Sorry I left out a lot of words in there lol my bad...One more thing I think I should start taking my own advice ha
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